Post # 1
Hey ladies! So, I’ll be 7.5 weeks preggo at Christmas time, and we’re looking forward to telling our families then. We know it’s still early but I’m normally a big wine drinker, especially on the holidays, so they are going to know anyway if we don’t tell them.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s reactions EXCEPT my one sister. Let me just tell you, I have two sisters who both have kids already and all I ever hear about is how I don’t know SH*T about ANYTHING because I don’t have kids yet, blah, blah blah. If I hear one more time from either of them “You’ll understand when you have kids” I swear I’m going to pull all my hair out. The one sister is actually awesome and just likes to tease (she’s the ONE person I’ve told and totally there to support me already), but the other one is all out just MEAN. I’m not looking forward to her peanut gallery comments when we share the news AT ALL. I can see them along the lines of “you’ll never be able to handle having a kid.”
In fact, the biggest fight we ever got into was last May, and we took her out to celebrate her birthday and she spent the entire night lecturing me on not having kids, that she wishes she had waited and I’m so lucky that I’m “single” – she really said SINGLE! I was married for two years already at that point! Not to mention we had already been trying for a baby since February, not that she knew. By the end of the night, I calmly said to her, “you need to stop telling me to never have kids…” That’s all it took, she LOST IT, kicked me out of her house, then as I was leaving chased me down the driveway and started HITTING me! Her husband and my other sister finally came out and broke it up, but I’ve had difficulty even SPEAKING to her since then.
Ugh, I just wish I could never tell her at all. This is supposed to be a happy time, not ANOTHER opportunity for her to criticize me 🙁 Just curious if anyone was going through something similar and if they planned to tell that person when they tell the rest of their family?
Post # 3
Wow! Sorry you’ve such a crappy experience with her, she sounds insane!
I am not looking forward to telling my father, for various reasons. Mainly he never has anything nice to say about anything or anyone. It can be hard not to take it personally even though I know he does it to everyone.
I fully intend to wuss out and have my mom break the news to him. Congrats on your pregnancy, don’t let idiots get you down!
Post # 4
@PandasWifey: Wow your sister sounds like she is a whack job. If she tries to start drama you should leave. This is not a god time for useless stress since you are prego. Actually, its never a good time for useless stress. Can you ignore her to keep the peace?
Post # 5
@Katy: That sucks that your dad is such a cranky pants! Good call on having your mom break the news – we don’t need that stress right now for sure. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid my sister being in the room when I tell my family because I’m only home for one night on Christmas Eve, and she’ll be there the whole time 🙁 Otherwise, I’d totally be okay with her finding out through the grapevine!
@Soladylike: Yeah, I’m going to TRY to ignore her – it’s how I’ve gotten through most of my life to be honest. It’s just really difficult when she’s harping on something so personal. The good news is my husband will be there, and she is usually slightly better behaved around him. My husband doesn’t tolerate people treating me like dirt – even if they are my sister. Do you think I should let him know that I’m expecting these types of comments from her so he knows when to step in if necessary?
Post # 6
@PandasWifey: Gosh! This sounds really awful! I can’t believe your sister acts that way and actually was hitting you over you standing up for yourself regarding having children in the future. That really is insane.
I am slightly nervous about telling my mom (I’ll be about 8.5 weeks), but just because we’ve only been married since May and I know she’ll think its too soon. But nothing like what you are experiencing! I’m just a little afraid I won’t get the reaction I want.
I would definitely tell your husband what to expect. Do you have another alliance in your family that you could tell ahead of time and warn them of your fears? It might be better if someone else in your family, rather than your husband, was able to step in if she reacts negatively (which it sounds like there is a high likelihood of.
Gosh, I am sorry you have to go through this. I don’t know if I’d even still maintain a relationship with someone who acted this way! Gees.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo
To be honest…if I was in that situation, I’d not tell her anything until the bumb a very visible and she notices herself.
The last thing you need during this delicate time of your pregnancy is a crazy sister making things difficult for you.
Post # 8
Ugh, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t look forward to telling her either. Hopefully having the family gathered together and telling them as a group will help deflect some of her negativity, or at least drown it out with everyone else’s excitement. Best of luck and I hope she’s on her best behaviour.
I have an atranged cousin who I haven’t seen since I was a small kid/hasn’t been around for ANY of our family coming to Christmas this year. His gf is expecting and about a month ahead of me. I just wasn’t looking forward to the awkwardness of it all sharing pregnancy notes/excitement with total strangers… but now I’m seeing its not too big a deal at all.
Post # 9
@amelieisme: Aww, well I hope you get the reaction you want from your mom – I’m sure even if she is a little shocked at first she’ll get through it quickly and move into being excited about being a grandma 🙂
That’s a good idea about setting up another alliance. The only one who knows right now is my other sister who has been supporting me, so I bet if I tell her she can help keep the bad sister in check. They are very close to eachother, so I think she would be super helpful in that situation – thanks for the great advice!
@Adams_bee: Unfortunately, she is going to be there when I tell the rest of my family regardless. I don’t even live in the same state as my family anymore, so when I see them on Xmas Eve will be my only chance to tell them in person.
@LAGS: Thank you! I will try to focus on the people who I know are going to be happy for us 🙂 So weird having to share your thunder with an estranged cousin – I wouldn’t want that either!
Post # 10
I agree with everyone else. Sounds like a crazy situation and I’m so sorry you have to deal with it. I just wanted to say that with Baby #1 I was scared to tell people because we hadn’t even been married a year AND my husband was unemployed. We were just gambling that he would have a job before I had the baby (and we would have been ok financially anyway). With Baby #2, I’m a little scared now as our oldest isn’t quite a year. I guess I just think people judge, whether they say it to your face or not. Stupid, I know. Anyway, I feel a tiny bit of your pain and wish you luck!
Post # 11
Well, the good news is that you already know that she is batsh** crazy. So knowing that she’s nuts to begin with, just try not to take anything that she says to heart. Enjoy your pregnancy, and good luck! A baby is a blessing no matter what your sister has to say about it.
Post # 12
Yes, I’m terrified of how my stepdaughter’s mother will react. When she first found out Darling Husband and I were dating she started crying and screaming that we were going to “steal her baby” then the next weekend presented Darling Husband with papers to have SD’s last name changed (she was 4 at the time) and she’s been pretty out of control ever since. She’s gonna lose it when she finds out.
I feel so bad for you that you can’t physically avoid your sister, I can’t believe she hit you! Maybe if you announce it to the whole room she won’t be able to be super mean about it, and if she is everyone will tell her to shut up. If she hits you when you’re pregnant never go near her ever again, no one will blame you. I hope it goes well for you… you really deserve to be happy right now and it sucks that the people who react badly tend to react SOOOO badly. But I’m confident the negative people will be overshadowed by the happy people 🙂
Post # 13
My advice to you is just not to engage with her. Tell everyone the news and then when she says something awful just blow her off. If she says anything just be like ooookay and moce on. Don’t let her stupid sourpuss attitude bring you down. This is a wonderful time in your life and you deserve to be excited and enjoy it.
Post # 14
Ugh, can you wait till she’s in the bathroom or something, that way you can at least get the initial good reaction without her craziness mixed in? What was your family’s reaction to her hitting you?! I can’t even imagine!
Post # 15
My advice is to announce it when everyone is in the room, that way if she says anything mean, your family will have your back! During the announcement start with saying how you have wonderful news that you’re both very excited about and hope to share the excitement with everyone, and ask if people can please refrain from any negative remarks. She should get the hint!
By The Way, I think she’s crazy. A normal person would never kick someone out for something like that and start to hit them! Yeh, she’s nuts.
Good luck to you and Congratulations!!!
Post # 16
That is awful! My advice is to just ignore her – this is wonderful news, just share it with your family as though she is not even part of the equation – if she starts to make a scene she will be the one who looks like an idiot – rise above her nonsense! And congratulations!!