Something called a husband stitch – is this a real thing? ??

posted 10 months ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Have you or anyone you know received a husband stitch without requesting it or being consulted
    Yes : (10 votes)
    13 %
    No : (70 votes)
    88 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    6586 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    So, I’m not going to lie, but I wonder if I had it done to me. My midwife said I only needed one stitch, and when she was done, she said she gave me two “for good measure.” 9 months postpartum, and it still feels tight during sex….

    Post # 3
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I have heard stories of women having poor stitches which have caused them problems. However I’m not sure this is actually something any doctor or midwife would do on purpose. I think some women, including myself, just under estimate the length of time it can take to recover.

    I did wonder if I’d had some extra stitches as I felt very tight for well over a year after having my son. However, it did get back to normal so I think it just took me a while to fully recover. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1233 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My ex boyfriend was one of a set of twins (vaginally born), after he and his brother were born their dad told the nurse to put an “extra” stitch in there (she didn’t)… Yeah they divorced not too long after that, obviously not a charming guy 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1257 posts
    Bumble bee

    Jeebus I’ve never heard of this! Bees saying it happened to them or heard of it happening to people they know, is this in the US?

    Post # 6
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    As a nurse. This is not done on purpose. If a husband requests it they will be informed that is inappropriate and may be escorted out of the room. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    As though it would actually make a difference to the vagina :/ The ignorance of people (even midwives in the field) is baffling. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee

    SeaOfLove :  are you breastfeeding? I still felt a lot of discomfort until I stopped nursing at around 10 months. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee

    I voted heck noooooo but before leaving a comment I decided to Google it…apparently it kinda is/was a thing? It’s rather impossible to say for sure or to know how common it was/is, but apparently back in the day episiotomies were more routine and were originally intended to be able to “restore things to their prime after birth” so to speak. Whether docs were aware of the harm it caused but did it regardless for “hubby’s pleasure”, or if it was just a miscommunication/inside joke sorta thing stemming from an ignorant “good-intended” practice, who can say? Regardless, as episiotomies have become less common and the entire mindset of performing one for the purpose of restoration isn’t even fathomed anymore (epis have a literal health function nowadays), I don’t think “husband stitches” are a thing that deliberately happens anymore. Botched stitches by accident/poor training? Sure, that’s a risk for anything…but personally I’ve literally never heard of this in the modern first world. 

    As for feeling pain/tightness months after recovery, that’s pretty normal, and I (a highly medically uneducated individual speaking out of my ass at this point) think the discomfort will likely subside more quickly the more often you get busy down there. I mean, it’s fresh new skin that needs to get “worked in” again, kinda? Just a theory based on my own experience, lol…

    Anywho, no worries, Bee! The birth-related horror story trail is a loooong and terrifying road to go down and I really don’t recommend Googling these sorts of things while pregnant, lol…such fears are irrational when you’re in the care of highly educated and respected medical staff 🙂 

     

    ETA: Medical Bees, can undamaged skin even fuse together? Logically I’d think the answer would be “No, duh”, but then “too tight stitches” wouldn’t make much sense…? Maybe I just misunderstand how stitching perineums works. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    Yeah, it’s a thing. A less prevelant thing as time goes by, since we now know that does literally nothing but cause pain. The vagina is the inside, and it is not supposed to be tight. That’s just fucking up the vaginal opening and causing friction pain. 

    Anyway. Ask your doctor about this. Gauge their response. I’d like to say know better do better but humans be stubborn. I’d wanna know how the person stitching me up feels about it, first and foremost.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3224 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I have at least 3 mom friends who have had this done – 1 requested it herself, 2 were told after the fact. If a doctor did it to me, there would be a lawsuit. However I also think in some cases people might think it was done to them, but really they’re just underestimating how uncomfortable sex can be after birth and how things can change down there. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    6586 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    MrsMellyBean :  I am! Still waiting to see how things feel long term. I had such wonderful care, the comment took me off-guard. Then, of course, I read about the husband stitch months later.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9220 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    MrsMellyBean :  This! — I’m EBF and things still feel uncomfortable at nearly 11 months PP! It’s a great form of BC 😂

    Post # 14
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    When my sister had my nephew the Dr. patted my Brother-In-Law on the way out and said “don’t worry I sewed her up as tight as a 16 yr old” so professional especially for a teaching hospital 

    Post # 15
    Member
    475 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    SeaOfLove :  I hadn’t considered it either but this made me think too! But as pp have said I’m still breastfeeding (7 months) and I have found the discomfort changes depending how much ‘use’ the area gets – infrequent/long breaks mean more discomfort. I assume it’s just scar tissue that stiffens back up or something…

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