(Closed) Something I’ve been thinking about…don’t know if it is appropriate.

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

Not totally crazy or inappropriate as long as you TALK TO HIM about it first. If you do it and spring that on him, it might make him really upset. Seriously – be honest and talk to him about it.

Post # 5
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

What if you guys went shopping together?

Post # 6
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

it is not inappropriate.  i definitely think you should talk about it but i do think it would be better if you went ring shopping together and he purchased it.

Post # 8
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

it’s not totally crazy – and I understand where you’re coming from!  BUT if he’s not ready to shop for rings, maybe he’s not quite ready for the engagement.  I know it’s hard to wait, but let him do it on his own terms. It’ll be so much more special if you know that he put lots of time and effort into finding the perfect ring for you.

Post # 9
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Not totally crazy but as the other posters have said, make sure it’s in line with what your Boyfriend or Best Friend is comfortable with.  I have had two friends buy their own rings (in both cases, the girl has a lucrative job and their now FI’s are in med school with no promise of a well-paying job for several years).  My Fiance would not have liked this at all, which is why I would say talk about it first, but it’s definitely not unheard of!

Post # 10
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have y’all talked about this? I mentioned even going in half-sies on my ring cause I didn’t want him to spend a ton of money, but it was really, really important to him to get my ring COMPLETELY by himself. But in a way, that’s taking the fun away from him and I understand that now- he wanted to buy the ring because it’s a huge step for both of us, not just me. It was the hardest thing to learn, and my mom had to tell me over and over, but it’s not just about you- its about him too and him doing what he needs to do.

Post # 11
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Is there a reason why he can’t/shouldn’t pay for your engagement ring?  I think it’s one thing to help him pick it out (and I totally support this)… but another to be like “here, I bought it, now I’m going to wait for you to give it to me.”  I think most guys would find this a little pushy, do you think your guy would be ok with this?

If it were me, letting him handle this in his own time when he was 100% ready (emotionally and mentally) would outweigh the value in us saving a few bucks on some ring.

Post # 13
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

My Fiance would be upset if I did this; however as you mentioned, I did fall in love with a particular ring and had my heart set on it.

I just told him that I wanted that ring and when he was ready he went out and bought it. That way it was all HIM I just chose the ring.

Maybe you could just tell him you have fallen in love with a ring (when/if you do) and he can still do it all on his own?

Post # 14
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I understand you thinking but my vote would have to be no because I know that it would have bruised my FI’s ego. It was really important to him to buy it and he loves it when I get compliments on it. In fact, I call it his engagement ring because it IS his ring. He bought it and presented it to me to wear. That being said, I don’t know you, your Fiance, or your situation. If this is something you don’t think would bother him than go for it.

Is there a way that you could buy your own ring closer to the time you will be getting engaged? I think if you buy it now it could maybe be a big, sapphire elephant in the room.

Post # 15
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Maybe you could suggest to him to propose (when he is ready) with a “placeholder” ring and you’ll pick out one together when you find the exact thing you want? 

This way you avoid possibly looking pushy or making him feel pressured.

Or – give him pictures of the ones you liked and explain how specific your taste is (so he knows to get exactly this look) and he could have it custom made for you when the time comes?

 

Post # 16
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would advise against it…it could totally backfire  which is of course what no one wants to happen.  he’ll do it when the time is right for him.

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