(Closed) Something small turned into a HUGE fight (SUPER LONG POST…..SORRY)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@2013septemberbride: He REALLY needs to work on his communication issues. I would address this through couple’s therapy before getting married, definitely.

Post # 4
16 posts

@2013septemberbride:  We have a general understanding regarding accidentally hurtful comments. 

People say dumb thing sometimes. Sometimes we say something hurtful. Common sense dictates that you did not say that to be intentionally hurtful. 

 Intentionally hurtful or not, if the other pary has been hurt by said comment, acknowledge it, do not deny how they are feeling about it, and sincerely apologize fot it. But the person who recieved the comment must know that it was not done with intention to hurt, and understand the difference between that, and an intentionally offensice comment. 

He told you it was hurtful, I agree that calling you on it in front of everyone wasprobably not the best time. But he waited too long to deal with it. 

Instead of telling him that he “should have” brought it up sooner (or essentially completely dismissing how he’s feeling about it) this would have been a good time to say “Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry. I did not intend to hurt your feelings, but I did. It was a bad choice of words and I’m really sorry”. 

Having said that. if you already apologized, owned up to it and dealt with it directly, he needs to accept that apology and let it go.




Post # 5
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I would be mad, as you are, but I don’t really have an advice on the matter because my guy is much much more calm that I am; I think you should talk to your boyfriend face to face, and say that you are hurt that you tried to make up all day and he didn’t listen to you, that you realised you hurt him and that was not cool, but him ignoring you was not cool either. He bailing on your dinner as unaceptable behavior, especially since he already told he would go, and you are angry with that. Them listen to his side. 

Just be a bigger person and let this all thing go this time, even if you have to swallow a frog.

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