(Closed) Something that gave me strength…

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 19
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Lemma and

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@courtney1188: Uhh, the quote was, “…people may judge me but I feel sorry for them…” The girl who said this was ONLY referring to people who judged her like
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@AmeliaBedelia was saying. Then the quote goes onto to say that she feels LUCKY to have found her man so early in life. No need to take offense because yes the reasons stated apply to all older brides (no matter what your age as you could be 50 and look 10 years younger in your wedding pics then someone who is 60) but one sides CON is another side’s PRO. Obviously, a young bride will look young in pictures so I don’t see how that’s offensive as it is just stating a fact.

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@macbookbee123: I agree that people who judge are just jealous…don’t sweat it.

Post # 21
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@macbookbee123: I understand that you didn’t say the quote, but you did post it. Imagine somebody posted some terribly racist quote, said that it made her smile and then was surprised when people were upset. I’m not saying that the quote you posted is as bad as that–it’s just an example for illustration.

I also wouldn’t say that I was feeling particularly defensive. At 26, I still consider myself to be quite a young bride. I was mainly reactly to the mean spiritedness of the quote. I don’t like the idea that the only way to feel good about yourself is to put down other people. 

I understand that maybe you weren’t focusing on the mean spirited part. Maybe next time you could include something in your post to say which part you specifically agree with. That way you wouldn’t run the risk of insulting somebody without meaning to. 

Post # 22
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mexicanabeibi: Stating a fact in an obnoxious way is still rude. There are plenty of times someone can be stating a fact and still be incredibly rude about it. And sicne you didn’t correct me, I’ll assume I’m right and the show was Bridezillas…

And we read the quote she said she felt sorry for them, and then stated the reason why. So yeah, I’m pretty sure our criticism stands. It’s just as rude to comment on why you feel bad for someone that they didn’t find their husband earlier as it is for them to comment on how you’re marrying young.

Post # 23
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Thanks for sharing this OP! It’s a nice perspective that’s very different from what I usually hear

Post # 25
Member
3993 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Lemma:Included in the OP:

That made me smile because it really brought me back to a happy place where I just feel lucky that I met him when I did =)

I felt that that pretty well summed up what she was agreeing with. Being happy to have met him when she did… She didn’t exactly end the post with, “It’s so great to be young in pictures!”

On that note though, I think we all see HOW that particular quote can be offensive to people, the part at the end WAS a bit obnoxious. That’s obvious. But I also felt it was obvious the OP wasn’t agreeing with that part, especially with how she both introduced and concluded her post.

Post # 27
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Wonderstruck: See, I interpreted the quote differently. I didn’t see it as she felt sorry for older brides I saw it as she felt sorry for those who judged her and then stated in a seperate sentence that she felt lucky. Two seperate thoughts. I guess we’ll never know what whoever said the quote really meant…

EDIT: To add onto why I thought it was two seperate thoughts, if you remove the first sentence, the rest of the sentences still make sense.

Post # 28
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

anyways, NOBODY here is really offended. We’re all young brides arguing LOL whatever

 

Post # 29
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@AmeliaBedelia: Strange, because the part that you think we can all agree is the obnoxious bit, isn’t the part that bothers me so much. It’s not great, but I don’t find it as offensive as the part that says that she feels sorry for older brides. 

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@macbookbee123: Here is how I read the quote. First, “people may judge me but I feel sorry for them.”  then, the person goes on to explain her reasoning for feeling sorry for them: “I just feel lucky that I met my man at such a young age and I didn’t have to spend decades looking for him like others do.”

Then, you posted that you feel lucky also. This statement could be interpreted as agreeing with the quote (including the feeling sorry part), rather than just stating that you are happy to have met your Fiance.  

Post # 30
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What is wrong with saying that she feels lucky for meeting Fiance at a young age, while others have to wait longer? Is it also wrong if she won the lottery and said she felt lucky because so many others don’t?

Post # 31
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

andersonsarah I know you didn’t mean to offend anyone but I will say the quote as it’s written comes off pretty harsh towards older brides. As I read it my mouth literally hung open and as an older bride (47) my feathers got a little ruffled. You’re repeating a quote that states “I didn’t have to spend decades looking for him like others do” Doesn’t that sound harsh to you? Some of us “older brides” don’t choose to good the first time around and need to try again to find a husband. Then to go on and say “And I’ll look 10 years younger than they do in their wedding pictures…BECAUSE I AM!” All I can say is.. “Wow” I’ve posted a few pics on WB, you tell me if I “look” 47. I’m sorry if I’m venting but this really irked me. It’s not only that a bride on a wedding show said that but it’s that you felt the need to repeat it.

I don’t understand why you feel you have to defend your marriage to your family, only because you’re young? Prove them wrong by example. I would give you props for telling us you’re a young married couple and determined to have a successful marriage than to share a rude quote from a TV show.

Am I wrong?

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