Post # 1
So about 7 or 8 months ago, Darling Husband and I actively tried to conceive for about 3 months. I charted, temped, everything. Nothing happened. I honestly gave up because the stress of it all was affecting my cycle. At any rate, we stopped trying. I decided, okay, so we will just stop trying, and stop preventing, and whatever happens, happens. Cool, right? I figured we have sex often enough (a few times a week) that I will probably get pregnant quickly enough without even trying. I was wrong. Now, I have this fear hanging over me that there’s something wrong with my fertility. My OBGYN says that there’s nothing wrong with me that should affect my fertility, but I don’t know. We have been actively trying for 3 months, then going without any protection, having sex often, and I am not pregnant. I am only 21, Darling Husband is almost 26. Anyone else going through this?? It can’t be just me right? BTW–Before everyone jumps down my throat over my age, we are very well established, Darling Husband has an amazing job, we own our house, have no debts, etc.. We are not being irresponsible whatsoever, disclaimer, disclaimer, blah blah blah.
Post # 2
UisceAlainn: Hello, I am sorry you are having a hard time. It is normal for healthy couples to take up to a year to conceive. Once the year has passed, then you talk to your doctor about possible issues. You are still within your year. I know it’s hard but for some of us it just doesn’t happen right away.
In my experience, it took us 3 months to get pregnant with the first (ended in MC), then 3 months later I was pregnant for the second time (ended in MC), and now 7 months later I’m currently pregnant for the third time.
You are definitely not alone in this. Hang in there bee. Wishing you the best.
Post # 3
leahdany: Thank you for your reassurance!! I’m sorry to hear about your two miscarriages, but I wish you well on this pregnancy!!! 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Well, the odds of conceiving when having sex during your fertile window is only 20% each time. So a 1/5 chance. The odds are a lot smaller than I was led to beleive when I was growing up!
Darling Husband is 27 and I am 26. We tried for 12 months, actively timing sex. After 12 months I finally got pregnant.
I know it’s so frustrating cycle after cycle when it doesn’t happen, especially when many of us are led to believe it happens SO easily.
After 12 months, you can ask your OBGYN to refer you to an RE if you’re really still concerned about your fertility. But I think it’s really just a timing and chance issue at this point. Try to keep your head up and chug on along. It was discouraging for me at times, too, so I understand. 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
I’m so sorry to hear you’re having problems lovely – you should be super fertile at your age! (OMG you’re 3 years younger than me but how old did THAT sound? Haha)
Has Darling Husband been to the Doctor to check his fertility? If he’s only got slow movers, it could be affecting your chances.
My friend had trouble TTC and ended up adopting in the end. She loves her little blessing more than anything. She had had him a year or so when her hubby gave up smoking. Before they knew it, they were pregnant despite being told that they would probably never conceive naturally as she had a history of ectopic pregnancies.
So now she’s a mum of 2, all because HE made a change.
Hope this helps and good luck! Xxx
Post # 6
Like another bee already stated, if you actively try to concieve during your fertile window, you only have about 20% chance. Which means the chances to NOT concieve are 80%. There is nothing wrong with you, and if your OBGYN doesn’t worry then you shouldn’t either. If you actively try for a year and don’t succeed, then you’ll cross that bridge IF you get there.
Post # 7
UisceAlainn: Don’t stress yet!! Just remember (seconding a PP), even if you do everything PERFECTLY, there’s still only a 20% chance of getting pregnant. That’s 1 in 5. (4 in 5 chances you wont). So if you have only tried for 3 months, it’s totally ok to not be pregnant. Also, if your doctor is telling you that healthwise it’s all good, trust him/her. It will happen! Just be patient 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you all for the reassurance and replies! We want to have kids early in life, especially since Darling Husband is already quite a bit older than I am. It’s not urgent that we get pregnant ASAP, but it’s just one of those things that makes you worry there’s something not right with you. I’ll talk to Darling Husband about if he would like to see a doctor to analyze his sperm. I’m sure he’ll be too embarrassed. 😛 Darling Husband and I have talked about it, and if we don’t succeed in having a baby after 2 years, we will look at adoption. I am not one to give up on something right away, however, I’ve always wanted to adopt at some point anyway, and rather than feeling down and stressed about not conceiving on our own, I’d rather do some good in the world and get what I want at the same time. 🙂
Post # 9
UisceAlainn: Took us 8 months with very well timed BD and using OPKs! Don’t give up!
Post # 10
UisceAlainn: If you are trying for over a year and still not having luck they I would talk to your doctor but unfortunately it is not always a quick process. Like a previous poster said even if you do EVERYTHING right there is only a 20% chance of conception. This tool helped me out a lot when we first started out:
Good luck and I will keep my FXd for you 🙂
Post # 11
UisceAlainn: hey bee! We sound pretty alike. Im 21 & we have been trying without success since about July. But, the good news is that you have talked to you OB & they havent found anything wrong with you. I suffer from Endometriosis which can effect your fertility, so it may take me longer than most to become pregnant. But they do say that it usually takes about a year for most healthy couples to conceive, so youre still really early in your trying. But after a year, I would see your doctor about doing something about it. Luckily we are young enough to have enough time to keep trying, but I know how bad it gets when the baby fever sets in & youre disappointed when it doesnt happen fast.
Post # 12
UisceAlainn: Please don’t worry, it takes time sometimes no matter your age. They say up to a year if you are under 35 and there is a lot of truth in that stress can cause issues. So try not to stress and just enjoy yourselves. You could talk to your OBGYN if you would really like to see if there is something wrong, but more than likely it is just not timed right. Have you tried preseed or anything like that? I know that works for a lot of people!