(Closed) something you never want to happen…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would want fi to choose the child over me. not sure how i would feel if the situation were somehow reversed though..

Post # 4
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That was such a sad article.  it sounds like the husband and baby will have a great support team at least. 

My husband and I have talked about it and he said that without a doubt, he would choose me everytime.  We talked about it because there was a story on our local news a few months back about how a family’s car got swept away in a flood current and the father was able to get out and only had time to save his wife or his child.  And if I remember correctly, he saved his wife.  

My heart breaks for anyone ever put in that situation.  What a horrible outcome no matter who you choose. 

Post # 5
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My Darling Husband has also said that in this situation he would choose me 🙂 Very sweet…but let’ts hope he never has to make that choice.

Post # 6
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s an awful awful situation. While this is terrible, I hope they would save me as the mother. More children can follow later. I feel like a bad person for thinking that way.

Post # 7
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Darling Husband and I had this conversation the other night–we agreed that if it came down to the spouse or the child, we would both choose each other. It probably has something to do with the fact that neither of us wants children, though…

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Fiance said he would choose me. You can get pregnant again or adopt. 

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Although I hope he’d never have to make that choice, Darling Husband would chose me (and I’d want him to save me over my newly born child).

Darling Husband and I have a relationship that built up over years where as a newly born child really doesn’t have that strong of a relationship.  Yes – the new parents bond with the child while its in the womb but that isn’t the same as a relationship built up over years and years.  As terrible as it would be to lose a child shortly after birth, Darling Husband and I would be able to have more children (not that necessarily replace the other child but we’d still be able to be parents and love and raise a child).

I feel for people who have to make that call but I really can’t see the side of choosing the child over the mother.

Post # 10
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

He better choose me or I’ll haunt his ass! Seriously. Losing a child would be awful, but there are other options to be a parent.

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This actually happened to my Mom and Dad and yes, I discussed it with my husband.

The doctor in Italy told my Dad “I can only save one, your wife or your child”

For my Daddy, it was a no-brainer. He wanted his baby and loved it but he loved my Mother too and they could always have more children.

She never questioned this but saw it as his deep love for her.

I would want my husband to feel the same. And he does.

Children are precious the moment they are conceived. Especially to the mom who has that special connection in carrying the baby. But the grace of God does give us more children usually (hopefully). After falling in love, nurturing your relationship and knowing you want to grow old with someone, how would you replace that?

Post # 12
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mrs.KMM: Out of curiousity, are you a mother yet? Or do you plan to be?

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

I would choose my child, I don’t know what Fiance would do. I’ve asked him but I don’t remember his answer.

Post # 14
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

My child. No question in my mind. I’ll tell you what, if we were in a car crash into water and he could only save me or my daughter, he sure as hell better save her. I would not want to live without her.

Post # 15
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Belle2Be: I 100% plan to be a mother.  I feel it is my calling in life to be a stay at home mom.

That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve built a relationship with Darling Husband over many years.  It would still hurt unbelievably to lose a child though.

Post # 16
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Belle2Be:that’s the same thing i was wondering. i’m surprised so many people are choosing themselves, and i’d be curious to find out if they still felt that way right at 9 months pregant or after delivery!

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