(Closed) Something you wish you could say to someone right now…

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Letter # 2

Dear Future Family-In-Law

   I really don’t like you and the way you treat your son/brother. He has done nothing but be supportive of you and helpful–even when you don’t deserve it. Stop taking advantage of him and his kind heart. If it were up to me, you wouldn’t be in our lives…you wouldn’t be at our wedding…and you wouldn’t meet our future children. But unlike you, I support what he wants. Just know, there WILL be boundaries…..stop calling all the time, and stop pushing your problems on to us. We have enough to think about right now. Let this be a happy time for us. Oh, and NO, I do not want to have the reception in your sister’s bar…That is the tackiest thing I have ever heard, and I like to think we have a little more class than that.

Your FDIL, unfortunately.

Post # 93
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Dear boss lady,

Kindly do your own job. I am already doing my own job plus one this week, AND I’m getting married next week! Just once, could you pick up the pace a little? Isn’t there supposed to be a reason you get paid more than I do?

Sincerely,

Slightly bitter employee

Post # 94
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Sorry this is so long – It was cathartic though!

Dear Incredibly Clueless Person Who Thinks She is My Aunt,

I am at a loss to understand why my uncle continues to date you. You have ruined his credit score by forgetting to pay the bills (one of your only responsibilities) and mortgage for months at a time. He is now working 2 jobs to support you staying at home because you are too lazy to find or keep a job. How many have you had in the past few years? And none of them lasted more than 6 months. It’s nice to put a real face on the issue of fraudulent unemployment and disability benefits. One would think that with all that time on your hands you could find opportunities to cook, clean, or otherwise improve the house/life of my uncle in some way.

You are asinine and ridiculous. When I put a note up on facebook about beginning wedding planning you replied “Wow, its really getting close. When is the date?” Let’s just pause for a moment so that you can reread that statement. Let me ask you: If you don’t know the date, how could you know it is getting close? How could we be getting close to something that my post made clear doesn’t exist yet? This is the type of nonsense garbage that spews forth from your mouth on a regular basis and drives me absolutely insane.

I realize things weren’t always this way between us. I stayed with you and Uncle one summer during college and we got along well. That was before you decided that even though she is absolutely no relation to you whatsoever (and ultimately not your responsibility) that you wanted to play mother to my niece. Now, I understand that you missed out on having kids because your first husband killed himself during your fertile years and now you are too indigent for any adoption agency to consider. It really is for the best though, considering that you have great difficulty even keeping your own life on track. I think we can all agree that a child would be too much for you to handle. Nonetheless, this hasn’t stopped you from trying to assert your will. Let me clear something up for you – My parents are niece’s legal guardians and her parents in all senses of the word. They ask me for advice because I am a psychologist and because I know the dynamics of the family. The fact that the 3 of us talk things through when there are problems is NOT an invitation for a town hall meeting.

Even if you had a valid opinion on the subject – we still wouldn’t include you because you get loud, emotional, irrational, and violent whenever my niece is involved. How dare you accuse me of wanting to beat my niece and being a danger to her because I sat down with her to have a disciplinary talk. I caught her gorging herself on an entire box of expensive handmade chocolate truffles and a half gallon of ice cream for breakfast! She has an eating disorder and it is important to talk about lapses like that and plan on how to avoid them in the future. Plus they were my truffles! What part of having a rational if stern conversation leads you to believe I would beat a loved one? (Please note for future reference that you do not fall into this category). I have NEVER and would never raise a hand to her. Just because you get violent when your upset doesn’t mean that other people are so out of control.

Which brings me to the time that you threw a punch at my mother because she told you to butt out. The fact that you were drunk at the time really doesn’t excuse you, especially since you admit to being an alcoholic and know you shouldn’t be drinking at all. The fact that Uncle, Stepdad and I all had to rush in to pull you off of my stunned mother and then drag you screaming from the house to stop you from continuing to lunge at her, only revealed you as the complete and utter lunatic you really are. Allow me to remind you that you chose to do this when 3 of my college friends, my fiance, and 2 of your (now ex)friends were all staying with us and ran into the room to see what the commotion was. What a great way to end a holiday weekend! As a note for the future – when people talk about fireworks at 4th of July that isn’t the kind they mean.

And yet, you still think we are friends. I don’t know why. I stopped calling you 2 years ago and don’t send Christmas cards. I only visit my uncle when your not around. I didn’t even call to tell you I got engaged (because secretly I am hoping that I can find a way to keep you from coming to the wedding!). You make my top 5 least favorite people list and the rest of the family agrees with me. Please disappear into the Bermuda triangle with all possible haste.

– ME

Post # 95
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Phew, that felt good to write but now I will delete it as the internet is forever 🙂

Post # 96
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

Please stop inserting your opinions when they are not asked for.  I understand that you are married to my father and therefore you are helping to pay for the wedding, in a way, but I wish you would understand that this day is for me and my fiance.  Stop telling me what color of shoes you think the bridesmaids should wear.  Don’t tell me that I should have invited my aunt to my bridal shower.  I can’t remember the last time I saw her and I don’t recall even attending a wedding of any of her kids or grandkids.  Um, it is MY shower being thrown by MY best friend.  I get to choose the guest list.  Don’t “remind” me that the menu hasn’t been selected.  I am very much aware of this fact.  I was waiting for the venue to have the fall menu available.  Don’t force my fiance’s family to pay for some of the flowers if they don’t want to or have the means to.  Don’t tell me to have my grandma stay away from my dad on my special day.  I know that my grandma can be difficult at times but it shouldn’t be my job on my wedding day to make sure that my family gets along for one freaking day and it upsets me that you even voiced your concerns to me.  Learn to censor yourself and keep things to yourself!  And finally, don’t make me feel like everything has to be done to your liking just so my life will be easier.  BACK OFF!  I just want to have a happy day together with my friends and family and I am not concerned with every little, itty, bitty, tiny detail like you are.  The most important thing is that I am marrying the love of my life.  All I care about is that we are married on that day and that everyone supports us and celebrates with us.

Sincerely,

Me

Post # 98
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This thread is phenomenal.

Dear Mom,

Stop freaking out over every little detail of things and sending me a million emails a day about tablescapes. I know you don’t have to work anymore and you have time to d**k around on the internet all day but some of us have jobs and cannot immediately respond to your onslaught of emails about the f**king table linens. Just because I don’t respond right away or want to involve you in every single aspect of planning doesn’t mean that I “don’t appreciate you” or “take for granted all the things that you do for me” – things, I might add, that I never f**king asked you to do in the first place. Also, please refrain from getting in a stupid pointless fight with Daddy at the goddamn dinner table in front of my Fiance in response to his simple question about the engagement party. You look like a psycho and you terrify him when you spaz out for no reason. The rest of us are more than used to it, but can you please try to act human around outsiders? Kaythanks. Also, don’t tell me I am “biting the hand that feeds me” when I disagree with you about something, especially in front of my Fiance.

I love you, but you’re f**king crazy.

Love, your only child.

EDIT: P.S. – I am painfully aware of the fact that I am breaking out and have gained weight. Please stop bringing it to my attention and telling me I look pregnant in front of grandma. She might have another stroke.

Post # 99
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

I love this thread!

 

Dear body,

I’m being a REALLY good girl…..eating right, working out….so can you please let go of that extra weight a bit more easily?  You don’t need it…just let go.   Thanks buddy!

Love,

Me

 

~~~

 

Dear Man of my Dreams,

Where are you?!?!  Hurry up!

I promise we’ll be very happy together…I just hope I know you when I see you!

xoxo

The (future) love of your life. 

 

 

That was very theraputic, thank you Hive!  <3

 

Wink

Post # 100
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

First, I am so happy we are no longer friends. You are among the hardest, most annoying people to be around. Just because you don’t have the same everything as me and people like me better (hehe) does not give you permission to copy everything I do and say and pass it off as your own. I understand that is the highest form of flattery, but it is just plain annoying! (and NO, you cannot use me to get you and your annoying flavor of the week tickets to a football game and then never pay my husband for them!)
I, nor anyone else for that matter, really care about your ideas about my wedding. And no, no one else was pissed that I invited them to the beach for my wedding! That is why we put the “no” option there. And NO, you did not pick out my dress. I DID!
I am glad you were not in my wedding to sit there and complain about your dress, hair, the weather and every other thing under the sun! We had way more fun without you! I wish I could have seen earlier what a toxic person you are. Now I realize what people were warning me about before!

-Little(pissed off)Bear


To Whom It May Concern:

You are not always right. If fact, you screw up a lot! Just because you are my boss does not mean you can pass off my ideas as your own nor does it mean that I can read your mind.
And when I go out to lunch with 3 girls who are my age and not 20 years older, like yourself, you should be mature enough to not be mad at me for the entire rest of the day, considering there are 795 other people in our office you can go to lunch with!

-LB

P.S. oh, and when you call someone “Mr. So-and-so” in an email that is copied to multiple people and that person is actually a “MRS. So-and-so” and writes you back pissed, the normal thing to do is appologize for the confusion and not just ignor the situation.

*This is the Best. Thread. EVER!*

Post # 101
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Dear Mother-In-Law,

If something was troubling you about our relationship, I wish you please come to me to discuss it.  I’m am really tire of your passive aggressive comments, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m a freakin lawyer, I know how to analyze issues and smell the B.S you’re dishing. I’m an adult, don’t play mind games, and have bigger issues that I’m dealing with than to deal with the silly drama you’re creating.

So here’s what has been troubling me about our relationship.

1.  I’m really upset that you have went crying to others about problems I never knew existed between us. 

2.  We are unsure we want children, and are leaning to not having them. It’s really upsetting to us that you assume that we are going to have children  and making statements about this issue in the hopes that we will change our minds.

3. I also hope you recognize that I had a life before I met your son.  Even though I am unemployed now, not by choice, does not mean I owe everything to your son.  I had my own money, bought my own wardrobe, jewelery, paid my own student loans.  Your son did not pay for everything I own.  If I like to look nice and not some frumy version of your daughter, does not mean that if costs your son an arm and a leg!  I know your daughter’s/SIL wedding dress costs only 100, but that is not me.  I want a dress that I love for the wedding of my dreams, not SIL’s. 

4.  I also know all the other issues/lies you told us to so that we will paid for more wedding expenses.  We are already paying for our whole wedding, but I guess you figured we have to pay for extended family to come to our destination wedding as well. I don’t appreciate how you pretend to be so silly and aloof in alluding/threatening that certain family will not come because of financial difficulty.  Again, I can smell your B.S. from a mile away because these so call financially distressed people owned mansions, cars that are beyond what we own. Why can’t you be upfront and frank about just say we should front the money for these guests, instead of making innuendo and raising guilt trips.

I just wanted to tell you these issues that have been troubling and it’s standing in the way our potential relationship.

Sincerely,

ME

Post # 102
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

I don’t appreciate your snarky remarks and passive aggressiveness toward me.  I know that I will be a great wife and homeowner without your sage advice.  Why can’t you realize that people are all individuals and everyone has their way of doing things.  I don’t feel bad for wearing clothes, having nice purses, and going on fun vacations.  Just because you spend all your money on your house, and your kids, instead of yourself, does not mean I feel bad for indulging myself, given that I don’t even have kids yet.  You have to recognize that not everyone wants your lifestyle in the suburbs!  Also, I don’t feel sorry for you and your inability to manage your finances just because you want to keep up with the “Jones.”

Also, your children spend too much time playing video games and just play.  You’ll the parent but don’t place alot of emphasis on education and reading, which is a real shame.

Sincerely,

ME

Post # 103
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Dear Ex Husband:

You’ve been a narcissist now for the last six years, since our son was four.  You’ve put every other woman and skirt you’ve met before your child or any life committment you’ve ever made and you want my son to feel like you’re father of the year because you call him every day.  How dare you question my ability to be an amazing mom even if it is innuendo like wow it’s 8 pm on a weekend..why aren’t you asleep son?”?  Huh?

You haven’t paid your child support and it’s meager compared to what you made before the big issue happened to you.  It’s unbelievable what you have spent on your girlfriends rather than taking care of your namesake, your son.  It’s sickening.  I have tried so hard to forgive you for laying huge burdens on my back financially and have almost gotten all of them taken care of now. 

And btw, the “heartfelt” letter you sent me a few months back didn’t include these words.  I AM SORRY.  You’re not sorry for anything you did.  Just sorry you got caught.

_________________________

Dear Guy o Mine:

I love you so very much and you’re the man I’ve loved now for almost 2 years.  We have the best times together and you’re such an amazing role model for my son who loves you so very much also.  I know you love me, but seriously.  If you ever mention marriage again without having the ring in hand, I’m gonna explode.  I know we’re getting engaged, but I’m finding  the longer we wait until it happens, the less excited about it I am getting.  After the other letter above, I certainly think (and you know the entire story) that I deserve in my life the most amazing engagement on earth and maybe some less stress.  I’ll never tell you this, but I feel this is what I 10000% deserve.  I put everybody before myself, I am completely and totally financially independent of you and never ask for a thing except for when I forget to get ice tea from Publix now and then on the way home from work and ask you to pick it up for me.  I realize we don’t live together and I’m not gonna do that until closer to our wedding after the REAL engagement happens, but it’s sometimes draining on me on days when I work myself silly, come home and then cook and work more around my house and entertain.  Can’t we just hurry up and do what you say we’re going to do?  This whole dual household stuff is wearing me down.  Do what you need to do already.

Me

Post # 104
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

To Whom it May Concern:

This is my and Mr. Engineer’s wedding – NOT yours.  You have no say as to who plays a role in OUR wedding, and if they are in it, what part they play.  Please leave my best friend (and MOH) out of it because you are hurt I asked her girls to be flower girls and I only asked your daughter (my cousin) to be an acolyte.  I knew you would have a conniption if I didn’t ask your spoiled brat daughter to be in the wedding, so I found her a special role that is good for her age.  Do not whine and complain to other people and hope they will do something – if you have a problem with it, come to ME.  You do not need to go behind my back to my parents either, and I would rather have you just yell at me again for how awful I am because I don’t pay enough attention to you and do exactly what you want me to.  I’m sorry that I got stuck with being the only relative of your husband that is remotely near you, but you must realize I have my own life.  You are only screwing up any potential relationship I might have with your daughter, which I’m sorry for.  In any case, you don’t have to come to the wedding.  In fact, it may be more fun for the entire rest of the family if you just stay away.

Sincerely,

Me.

Post # 105
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Dear Maid/Matron of Honor,

As much as I appreciate your help, and what you are offering, I can do my own research! And I have! I have spent countless hours working through my budget, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to cut one more thing! I don’t care that you think my MUA isn’t worth it, I don’t care that you think you caould do just as pretty flowers out of fake ones, I don’t care that your friend did this or that! I DO NOT CARE! Its my wedding! Its my day! Let me have this day! After that it can go back to being all about you!

Oh, and thanks for going to the same place we are going to on our honeymoon 1 month before us! That makes me feel all kinds of speacial inside. Thanks again.

Love! Me

Post # 106
Member
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Dear Future Fiance:

Honey, I know that you are saving for a ring. I know that you don’t believe (and neither do I) in going into debt for a ring, and also that you want to get me the biggest/best one you can. So, I know that you’re doing your very best to skrimp and save every penny to that end. I think it’s really cute, kind of. But honey, there is a LINE. And you’re kind of driving me nuts. Agonizing over every dollar spent and your recent spending embargo is taking its toll on my nerves. We cannot live a life on no money. We can’t just be hermits for a few months so you can save cash. I know it is inconvenient that we need to do things like “eat” and “pay bills” but these are facts of life and complaining about them? not making them go away!

I’m sure that my frustration will subside when I see the beautiful ring that you’ve sacrificed for, and I’m sure I’ll look back at this time of uber-frugality with warm memories. But for right now, you’re kind of driving me nuts.

 

Hugs and Kisses,

 

Corgi

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