- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
How are things progressing?
How are things progressing?
We have had a couple of screaming matches but we’re able to both stop and take a breather now and calm down.
We’re also better at understanding and explaining why things upset us, what can be done and knowing why the other person reacts the way they do etc.
I also found out that Fiance has been going to get counselling as well with his medication! Very happy (:
walking on eggshells is no way to live your life.
My first boyfriend was 10 years older. We started dating when I was 16, And were together 3 years. He would ignore me for days at a time, and could be a real jerk. I remember driving to a friends house one night after a bad fight and sobbing for hours. Crying on the floor of my bedroom because I KNEW I was not happy but couldn’t make the decision to leave.
he cheated on me while we were thinking of taking a break, and now his girlfriend is miserable and her family wants her to leave him.
My fiancé is everything I never knew I was missing. My friend told me she could see how happy I was with him. He is sweet, and thoughtful, and respectful and fun. I want our children to be like him.
It took leaving my ex to realize how bad it was with him. I am so grateful I have my fiancé, but even if I didn’t? I would still have left that manipulative, cheating, immature asshole in my dust. Because I am amazing and I deserve the best, and even though it took awhile? I am so much better off.
STOP taking these crumbs he is giving you like they are gold.
STOP accepting his excuses.
You can do better. Let him try to improve, but don’t hang around as a spectator. Keep seeing a therapist. Be strong, because you deserve the best, and not someone who has EVER hurt you. EVER.
if I knew you in real life, I would have already moved you into my apartment. NEVER would I let a friend do this to herself. If you live in California and want help, message me. I will help.
Leave. Do what you know in your gut as what you must do. Leave.
Bees I just wanted to tell you that I left!
I made it out and it hasn’t been easy and right now he’s holding my dog hostage and a whole bunch of sh*t has hit the fan but I feel so free!!!
Thank you all for supporting me and not abandoning me
I’m happy you finally left 🙂 It’s not easy, but it’s definitely for the best. And I hope you get your dog!
I offered to stay somewhere else if he wants while he sorts his head. <- Dear I would say it is you who needs to sort your thoughts out. I think he has his pretty well sorted out. He is playing you. He knows what he wants, and because by now he knows you too well, he knows emotionally,you are pretty much at his mercy. Just the fact that after all that’s happened, how he’s treated you and the horrible things he’s said you are offering to stay somewhere else while “HE sorts his head out” just speaks volumes at where he’s got you.
I would say the only thing than needs sorting out in both your heads is recognizing you are not in a healthy relationship, that you are not happy, that this relationship has all the potential for escalating and getting even worse and to become more scary and unhealthy as time goes. And if you guys ever loved each other, the best thing would probably be to, out of respect for each other, for the time you spent together and were happy, to have enough respect and love for each other to understand you are in a very sick relationship and to give each other one last gift…. The opportunity of eventually finding love in a healthy relationship and have a good, fulfilled and happy life.
I just read your update. Girl this is just the beginning of great things to come. Please be patient and prepare yourself as with this things might get uglier and more scary before they get a whole lot better! Please be careful and be strOng. You can get through this. Trust me, one day you’ll pat yourself on the back and feel so proud of yourself
Also, I’m not sure if anyone’s mentioned this, but there might be resources in your area that you can access. I’m not sure where you live, but a lot of women’s shelters also have counsellors who are called “outreach workers” or “transitional support workers” or something to that affect. What they do is work with women who are transitioning out of abusive relationships/thinking of leaving/just left/etc and provide things like safety planning, counselling, help with housing, etc. It might be something to look into.
Unfortunately, the time after a woman leaves an abusive relationship is actually the most dangerous, so please stay safe! If you google safety planning for abused women you’ll find some good tips. For example: http://lawc.on.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/PERSONALIZED-SAFETY-PLAN-FOR-ABUSED-WOMEN1.pdf If you scroll down you’ll see safety tips for women who have left the relationship.
Sorry, I don’t mean to scare you, but its good to be informed. Again, I’m so proud of you!
I just saw your threads and haven’t had a chance to read through all of it, so I hope what I say isn’t too redundant. 🙂
Girlfriend you made my Day – Week – Month – Year !!
So glad to hear you are free from him. Yes it will be hard… it was the hardest thing I ever did in my whole life leaving… rocked me right to the core
BUT if I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today (some 10 years on)… nor would I have ever met Mr TTR who is my HERO
This man LOVES me a million times over just because of who I am… not who I am not (not perfect enough, not smart enough, not perfect enough… not enough period)
I am truly blessed.
TRUE LOVE will find you too. Promise !! And you’ll wonder what the H3LL you were ever thinking !!
It is a truly liberating experience the walk you are on now.
(( HUGS ))
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I will continue to tell my story here on WBee, because there are a lot of women who need to see the light… that they are sooooo worthy of a LOVING & HEALTHY relationship.
The EMOTIONAL BOARD sees such posts regularly… sadly.
You’re right, we do see a lot of abuse threads. I often wonder, are there more abusive relationships today than in the past or are we just talking more openly about relationship issues?
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