(Closed) Something's wrong down there :( [Vent/looking for advice]

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
295 posts
Helper bee

It could take sometime for you to get in the swing of things. The hymen doesn’t actually break when you lose your virginity, it just stretches and if you continue to have sex it stays that way but if you take a long break from sex it retracts again, making the next time you have sex essentially as painful as “losing” your virginity. 

ETA: I missed you saying it hurts more during. Go to the Dr. that shouldn’t be hapening.

Post # 4
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve had a similar experience and it turned out I had a mild yeast infection that never was so bad it was noticible to me, just caused sex to be slightly painful. I’d get a check up— if you take meds and don’t need them it will causemore harm than good.

Post # 5
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You NEED to go to the doctor.  It could be endometriosis or some kind of pelvic pain condition.  I believe sex is an essential part of a healthy relationship.  It’s one of the things that separates our husbands from being just a “best friend.” I’m not sure what “convictions” keep you from wanting to have sex.  Do you mind sharing?  

Post # 8
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with what others have said but definitely go see your doctor and share your concerns. 

Post # 9
4337 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had something similar happen painwise and it turned out I had a case of cervicitus (sp?) – basically an inflamed cervix… usually caused by an infection…I’m pretty sure I got it from accidentally using scented tampons, since I can be sensitive to that type of thing. Easy fix – just a prescription. 

Honestly, though, after getting checked out by the doc, you need to think long and hard about your sexual relationship with your Darling Husband because any sort of mental block or doubts are going to affect your enjoyment/non-enjoyment of sex.

Post # 11
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That sounds to me like you could have an ovarian cyst- it would definitely make one side painful during sex or even using a tampon. I’m glad you are going to the gyno to have it checked.

Post # 12
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@anonbeeover9000:  I don’t think you’re crazy at all.  I agree that sex CAN affect the woman in a negative way, but it doesn’t have to.  Would you consider seeing a therapist (potentially one that focuses on sexual intimacy)? If there are emotional blocks or struggles that you experience during sex, I would encourage you to seek some kind of therapy.  That doesn’t mean you’re crazy! I think most people would benefit from seeing a psychologist! I feel as though you are limiting the positive intimacy you could be experiencing with your husband.   

Post # 14
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@anonbeeover9000:  I don’t think you are crazy but your fears could be keeping you from relaxing and causing the pain.

Post # 15
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@anonbeeover9000:  Wait, I guess I’m confused.  When the hurting stops, and you are enjoying sex, are you still okay with not having it?

I don’t think you’re crazy, I’m just trying to understand.

I absolutely agree with PP who said that psychological issues can make it painful.  I wonder if you might subconciously be worrying about being negatively impacted, and that’s getting in the way.

Also, if you don’t mind answering, are you worried that YOU will be negatively influenced, or is it more of a women in general are affected that way?

The topic ‘Something's wrong down there :( [Vent/looking for advice]’ is closed to new replies.

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