(Closed) Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall! (vent) a little long…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That stinks, its hard to keep try of all the details when they aren’t your details.  What I have found helps when writing emails to my BM’s is at the end, say, I need a response from you guys about question 1, question 2, and question 3.  Sometimes where there are lots of questions in the body of emails, people skim and tend to forget.

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is really annoying. Keep in mind every Bridesmaid or Best Man will be involved with your wedding differently, some want to know every detail, others just want to know what time to show up. Also, she could be kind of forgetful – I know I tend to forget details sometimes when I’m not the one making the decisions.

But good for you keeping them informed! I have also been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding where I was given NO information about ANYTHING! The only reason I knew what time the ceremony was is because I got an invitation. It was the most chaotic wedding, totally disorganized, no one had any idea what was going on. I also send my BM’s an ‘update’ email when the info will effect them, but I’ve probably only sent like 3 or 4 in a year.

Post # 5
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry you are so frustrated.  I’m going to be very honest and I don’t mean this harshly at all (and I really hope you don’t take it that way!).  NO ONE cares about your wedding as much as you do.  If you’re like me it’s on your mind 24/7.  Well, it’s NOT on our bridal parties mind that often.  They probably don’t know if they want to pay for hair and make up yet. 

Maybe in the future you can call each one of them and give them the info instead of relying on mass emails.

 

(((hugs)))

Vent away, but try to remember THEY have their own lives too.

Post # 7
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m going to have to agree with SanDiegoAli here.  Your (and mine and all of us Bees) wedding is consumg your life right now, but your friends/bridemaids just do. not. care. that. much.  I try to keep the wedding-related emails to my BMs/friends to a minimum so that everything is not all about my wedding.  I try not too bug them constantly or too far in advance about things that are really prob only important my mind.

Also, I try things like you mentioned with a grain of salt.  For example, a friend told me that one of my BMs told her that she was p*ssed that I am having a cash bar.  I’m NOT having a cash bar (I’m actually having a top-shelf open bar) and I have no idea why she would think that.  I’ve emailed my cousin/BM about 7 times for her to PLEASE email me the link to the dress she chose.  No response.  Oh well.

Post # 9
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know how you feel. My bridesmaid couldn’t remember where we ordered her dress and asked me to pick it up after the store emailed her about 6 times. I too had to realize that they just aren’t into it that much so I really try to keep it to myself and not bother them unless they ask. That way I don’t sound like that’s all I care about and my feelings don’t get hurt when they don’t respond how I expect them to.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm, that drives me nuts as well. When my Maid/Matron of Honor mistakenly misses answering a question I just email her the question again so that she sees it again. I think especially if you’re asking them a lot of questions at once they tend to forget the first ones and only answer the last ones – I know I do that a lot in my emails!

Post # 11
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Don’t feel bad! This is something I deal with all of the time in my business. If people see a lot of text in an email they just skim, skim, skim, it has nothing to do with you personally. For me, this tends to be the best format!

Hi X, Just wanted to get your feedback on a couple of things. Could you let me know about the following 4 things:

1. Yadayada

2. Yadada

3. Yadayada

4. Yadayada

My advice: spacing is key. Separate every question into a single, short line of it’s own. If it’s mid-paragraph people are less likely to see it. Same for any key ‘points’ you want them to see. Then you can always do ‘details below’ for those who will actually read the whole thing!

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have never once gotten a reply to a single e-mail I have ever sent to my BMs. My sister, the Maid/Matron of Honor, NEVER asks about the details of the wedding and was confused about the time, date, place, and dress details (despite having an STD and e-mails with this information). My friend, another Bridesmaid or Best Man, is upset that I’m getting married on a Friday- which she has known for OVER a year!- because it will make her miss work. Ummm…she only works part-time and has complete and total control over what hours and days she works (her job loves her). This same Bridesmaid or Best Man is having a serious mental breakdown that I asked her to buy a dress that was navy and knee-length (no other requirements!). She keeps asking me if [insert wrong color or too short of a length] is okay, because she likes it better. All this goes to prove that no one else in the whole world cares about your wedding and the details about it as much as you do. Also- I totally, 100% sympathize with your situation!

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

It could be the opposite and they are driving you nuts! The last wedding I was in I was the Maid/Matron of Honor and the other bridesmaids kept emailing me asking me about this and that. One day I got 60 emails from one bridesmaid. I was soo frustrated. I’m glad they weren’t bothering the bride but come on I don’t care and she doesn’t care what color toe nail polish you want to wear.  Just get it done and be on time!

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

sorry just had to vent LOL

Post # 15
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i know exactly how you feel! i ask questions because i genuinely want their imput – and its stuff that has to do with them, dress choices, shoe picks, hair styles – things that they will ultimately have to wear or do and its like pulling teeth!!!

all i have to say is if they hate it its their own fault. i make suggestions and ask for opinions and its nuthin but crickets!

ugh.

i sooo understand.

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