Sometimes I feel like no one cares about our engagement or wedding!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you feel like no one cares about your engagement or wedding?
    Yes, no one cares and it makes me upset! : (25 votes)
    24 %
    Yes, no one cares but it doesn't bother me! : (40 votes)
    38 %
    No, everyone is super excited for us! : (24 votes)
    23 %
    Other! : (17 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1159 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  Hi there!

    As your wedding is still 1 year away i really think people will start to get excited closer to the date. People only really started caring about my wedding at the 6 month to go mark.

    Don’t fret! If your immediate family and your fiance is excited, that’s all that matters.

    (If it helps, i’m excited for you and all the bees!)

    Post # 4
    Member
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    No one will care about your wedding as much as you do. If you feel that it’s an important conversation to have, tell those closest to you that you’re feeling a bit blue about everything and that you need some support to get excited. Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I know exactly how you feel, but I’m pretty used to it. Much of my family are very self centered. They’ve gotten rid of most of our family traditions [christmas, thanksgiving, easter], including getting rid of exchanging gifts. The grandchildren in our family don’t even get gifts on their birthday/christmas. It makes me really sad.

    I shouldn’t have thought any of my family would care for a second, but I did. And i guess that’s my fault. I shouldn’t had expected more from them than I’ve seen in previous years.

    Not a single person from my family congratulated us, including my own mother.

    – My mother asked me to see the ring, said, “oh”.. and then immediately told me that she couldn’t contribute to my wedding. [She’s told me this since I knew what marriage was, so it’s not like I had expected her to]. No congratulations, nothing.

    – My grandmother also asked to see my ring, and then asked how much he paid. My ring wasn’t all that expensive [It’s a 1/2 carat diamond cluster, cost us around $419], but to me, it’s the meaning behind it, not the price tag. Nobody in my family has over a half carat [we live in Hickville, Usa], so why she expected me to have a rock, who knows? She also never said congrats, just asked why I didn’t want a larger ring.

    – My aunt didn’t say anything at all. My uncle [aunts husband] only responded with, “Shouldn’t you have a house by now?”.

    Thanks, I guess. I’m 25, full time employed. Fi is 22, full time employed. We currently live with my mother in a split home [basically 2 apartments that share 1 common room]. We pay half the bills. I had moved back in when I was 20 because my mom wasn’t able to make ends meet, and needed help.

    Really, in the end, all my family tried to do was rub in my face how long I’ve waited to get married, and that I should have more in life. Honestly, for fi just turning 22, I don’t think we’re doing so bad.

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Also, I think the only thing that still keeps me sane is the fact that fi’s family is SUPER excited for the wedding. Almost all of his family have called us to congratulate us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nobody seems that excited over mine except for my mom (my father has zero interest, LOL) and some of my close friends. I feel like others just ask to be nice. It doesnt bother me. I usually dont care that much about weddings either. I always feel like it is “your” wedding and not mine so *shrug*

    Post # 10
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    What I’ve noticed is that people seem to care on and off.  My mom will seem not to care at all, then suddenly wants to talk and will get insane over some weird detail, then nothing for weeks unless I practically force her to discuss something.  Friends seem to have no interest and then they’ll suddenly want to know everything.  Interest seems to come and go.  Try not to get discouraged.

    Post # 11
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    It just feels like no one is excited because of your level of excitement. You are at a 10 and anything less feels insignificant. But, the truth of the matter is that no one will seem to care about your wedding or engagement as much as you do.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1469 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s one year away. I think you should wait until the 6 month mark at least to expect your closest to be more invested. I think I don’t understand a lot of these posts bc I planned my wedding in 6 months almost entirely by myself and my family is scattered all over the globe. My girlfriends threw me an awesome bachelorette party the weekend before and asked me how planning was going and offered to help occassionally. That’s pretty much it. My mom and sisters didnt get involved until about 2 months before. The day of they all went above and beyond. I knew they all loved and supported me despite not going all crazy over my wedding months and months in advance. what are you expecting at this stage if you don’t mind me asking? Are you worried they won’t throw you a party? Did they not say congratulations? That would suck 🙁

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    5189 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  That’s how it is. The only people who really care are the ones who are actively involved. Don’t feel bad. They’ll be excited once the day comes closer. It’s just they can’t spend every day leading up to it thinking about your wedding. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    it’s a sad truth that most people don’t care as much as you about your wedding. that’s why I joined the bee so that I COULD find people to talk to. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  I think you are the exception to the rule. It is great that you did all of that for your friends and family, and I will assume that you did it without the expectation of getting anything in return. However, no one has to be excited about your wedding except for you and your Fiance.

    It is unrealistic to expect that anyone is going to care as much as you do. Sorry if that is harsh, but I personally don’t get all bent out of shape about someone else’s wedding. I go to all the required events and buy nice gifts but I’m not bubbling over with joy about something that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

    We are eloping in the Caribbean and no one really cares about our wedding either, lol. But we don’t need anyone to care. It’s about us.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    It’s still a year out from your wedding. What do you think they should be excited for at this point? It’s far to early for showers and parties. Just keep on with your planning and when the time comes they may show more interest.

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