Post # 1
I am the only one with a job at the moment and I have been very stressed out about our bills. My Darling Husband was finally able to get his Class E license a few days after Christmas but never went to take the test. I have been asking him when he was going to do it for awhile now and he said he would do it on my day off…yesterday. That got me to telling him that he needs to find a vehicle to borrow for the driving test about a week ago and he didn’t ask anyone until yesterday. That means he can’t take it until I get off work tomorrow. This isn’t the only thing he has been putting off. Since I work I think he should be the one doing upkeep on the house and making sure everything gets done. The house is a mess! He never cleans anything and all he feeds our son is crackers. I’m tired of him expecting me to do everything and seeming like a bad person and wife when I want him to do something. All he does when I’m home is play games.
I ask him about dinner and he either ignores me or says he doesn’t want to cook so I’m stuck finding something easy to make because I’m tired from working. Today we got in a big fight because I fell down the stairs about a week ago and I’m still in a lot of pain. I can hardly move from the pain and when I asked him to get the printer so I could print off coupons to save money he says I’m lazy and need to do it myself. I have to take care of our son and cook and clean and make him happy when I can’t een stand or sit without being in pain. He just moved the 360 downstairs because he got tired of me complaining about him playing all the time so now he’s playing where I can’t see him. He was texting his friend about it earlier too saying he’s tired of me causing drama and complaining and that he is saving us money by not working because a daycare would charge $125 a week or more even though I told him that a friend of mine would charge $75.
Our rent is still sitting on the desk because he doesn’t want to call our landlord to say we have it and I had to call the hospital to find out where to take our son yesterday for blood work because he didn’t want to. If our son wasn’t taking a nap I would have grabbed him and left for awhile but I’m not leaving my child and I have no where to go to calm down. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about anything because I don’t want to say anything to people who know him and who might judge him on it later when we are spending time together. The few people who are willing to listen to me are going through worse stuff than this and I don’t want to bother them with it.
Sorry it was so long. I cut it a little short to try to make it readable but I don’t think I really managed it.
Post # 3
Grrr, that would bug me. I would literally light a fire under his ass to be symbolic…ahaha.
I’m sorry =( It’s hard to get up and go when you haven’t been working for a while =(
Post # 4
i know what you mean! this is not right!!
when i moved here for my Fiance i was out of work for a while (2 yrs) and i did everything!!! and i mean everything in the house or for the family, although every now and then (maybe once a week) i wouldn’t prepare dinner, just because i didn’t feel like it. but other than that… it was alld one, all the time.
at some point Fiance was abusing it a bit.. like he wouldn’y even get himself soemthing to drink..saying that HE workd all day! at some point he actually lost it on me because the bathroom waste baskets were full… that’s when i lost it!! and found whatever job i could find… i was holding out to find something in my field, but this was too much! i needed to get out of the house.
when i did start my job, he was still doing nothing…. that drove me nuts!! his original excuse was that my jo wasn’t half as stressful as his, so he needs to relax more than i do!
so i simply stopped cleaning messes he made… would only pick up my dishes, only my laundry… stuff like that.. soon he realized that he made a lot of mess. it got a bit better.. but it’s when i spproached it jokingly with him that something changed. one day i had washed, dried and folded tons of laundry before work and left it on the bed.. he comes home about 3 hrs before me, so i expected that at the very least he would have put the clothes away… WRONG AGAIN! so i said with a smile and jokingly “you know luv, when i clean/dry and fold clothes all before work, it would be nice if you could simply put it away.”
then iw ent back to mour room, put all my stuff away and nicely put his clothes, all spread out on his side of the bed. when he fell alseep on the sofa and got up to go to bed in the middle of the night.. and had to remove all the clothes from his side…. it was over! now he’s like another man!! honeslty he actually does stuff without me asking him!
Post # 5
This sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I was with a man that expected me to do everything, even though I worked just as much as he did. It was not fun. I asked for help many times and he refused. He told my I was lazy.
I finally realized that I had to do something about it and that the result would make or break my relationship – and I had to be comfortable with however it turned out. So, I stopped doing things for him. I stopped throwing his trash away (cause Lord knows it’s difficult to walk 5 feet to the trash can). I stopped making him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I stopped doing his laundry. He said I was lazy – so I finally was and it felt great! We broke up soon after that. He wasn’t the one for me.
I hope you are able to change things around your house. This is no way to live.
Post # 6
By The Way, I just read some of your other threads. I would suggest putting off having another child until you work this out with your husband. He needs to have a job and change his attitude for a long time before I would consider having another baby.
Post # 7
@BackyardLoveBird: I agree with you, I also read some of the other threads, and from an outsider view, this is a seriously unhelathy relationship.
Your Darling Husband does not seem to care for your son’s wellbeing now by only feeding him crackers and refusing to cook. No way would I consider bringing a second child into the house under these circumstances.
I’d say you both need some good counselling.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry. It’s perfectly normal that you are frustrated and get upset. I totally get it, I feel the same way a lot of times. Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
Post # 8
Thanks to all who took the time to read this. I know it was pretty long. We haven’t mentioned the fight at all and he cleaned our sons room today while I was at work but he has been playing his game since I got home so no change there.
To those who have mentioned us TTC…here is a bit more of what happened yesterday that I cut out: he decided to text one of his friends about what was going on and, since I knew what he was texting about based on his body language while holding the phone, so I took his phone to read the texts to find out what he was saying. He told his friend that I didn’t act like I even wanted our son and never did anything with him and expected him to do it all so he decided he didn’t want to give me another baby until I started acting like I wanted even the one we have. I’m not sure why he said any of that but none of it is true. So there you are. He apparently doesn’t want to have another child for now so we will be waiting another while to have a child even though we had agreed we didn’t want them too far apart. Looks like I won’t be getting what I want.
Post # 9
@bride21: This statement worries me…a lot
“he didn’t want to give me another baby until I started acting like I wanted even the one we have”
Um, you don’t GIVE a baby, it’s not a present, and it’s not him doung you a favour. It’s a huge commitment together, for at least 18 years.
I think you both would benefit from some counselling. Your Fiance needs to grow up and move into the adult world before you even consider bringing asnother child into your household. This is not a healthy relationship to raise a child in.
Post # 10
Well, surprisingly, things have gotten a lot better since the fight even though we haven’t talked about it. He has done a bit more around the house and fed our son an actual meal as well as got up with him at 5:30am. Now he’s saying he still wants a baby and that he was just mad at the moment. I’m not sure what’s going on.