(Closed) Sometimes I feel so alone…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Grrr, that would bug me. I would literally light a fire under his ass to be symbolic…ahaha.

 

I’m sorry =( It’s hard to get up and go when you haven’t been working for a while =(

Post # 4
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i know what you mean! this is not right!!

when i moved here for my Fiance i was out of work for a while (2 yrs) and i did everything!!! and i mean everything in the house or for the family, although every now and then (maybe once a week) i wouldn’t prepare dinner, just because i didn’t feel like it. but other than that… it was alld one, all the time.

at some point Fiance was abusing it a bit.. like he wouldn’y even get himself soemthing to drink..saying that HE workd all day! at some point he actually lost it on me because the bathroom waste baskets were full… that’s when i lost it!! and found whatever job i could find… i was holding out to find something in my field, but this was too much! i needed to get out of the  house.

 

when i did start my job, he was still doing nothing…. that drove me nuts!! his original excuse was that my jo wasn’t half as stressful as his, so he needs to relax more than i do!

whatever!!

so i simply stopped cleaning messes he made… would only pick up my dishes, only my laundry… stuff like that.. soon he realized that he made a lot of mess. it got a bit better.. but it’s when i spproached it jokingly with him that something changed. one day i had  washed, dried and folded tons of laundry before work  and left it on the bed.. he comes home about 3 hrs before me, so i expected that at the very least he would have put the clothes away… WRONG AGAIN! so i said with a smile and jokingly “you know luv, when i clean/dry and fold clothes all before work, it would be nice if you could simply put it away.”

then iw ent back to mour room, put all my stuff away and nicely put his clothes, all spread out on his side of the bed. when he fell alseep on the sofa and got up to go to bed in the middle of the night.. and had to remove all the clothes from his side…. it was over! now he’s like another man!! honeslty he actually does stuff without me asking him!

 

good luck

 

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This sounds like a horrible situation to be in.  I was with a man that expected me to do everything, even though I worked just as much as he did.  It was not fun.  I asked for help many times and he refused.  He told my I was lazy.

I finally realized that I had to do something about it and that the result would make or break my relationship – and I had to be comfortable with however it turned out.  So, I stopped doing things for him.  I stopped throwing his trash away (cause Lord knows it’s difficult to walk 5 feet to the trash can).  I stopped making him breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I stopped doing his laundry.  He said I was lazy – so I finally was and it felt great!  We broke up soon after that.  He wasn’t the one for me.

I hope you are able to change things around your house.  This is no way to live.

Post # 6
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

By The Way, I just read some of your other threads.  I would suggest putting off having another child until you work this out with your husband.  He needs to have a job and change his attitude for a long time before I would consider having another baby.

Post # 7
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@BackyardLoveBird: I agree with you, I also read some of the other threads, and from an outsider view, this is a seriously unhelathy relationship.

Your Darling Husband does not seem to care for your son’s wellbeing now by only feeding him crackers and refusing to cook.  No way would I consider bringing a second child into the house under these circumstances.

I’d say you both need some good counselling.

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m so sorry. It’s perfectly normal that you are frustrated and get upset. I totally get it, I feel the same way a lot of times. Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

Post # 9
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@bride21:  This statement worries me…a lot

“he didn’t want to give me another baby until I started acting like I wanted even the one we have”

Um, you don’t GIVE a baby, it’s not a present, and it’s not him doung you a favour.  It’s a huge commitment together, for at least 18 years. 

I think you both would benefit from some counselling. Your Fiance needs to grow up and move into the adult world before you even consider bringing asnother child into your household.  This is not a healthy relationship to raise a child in.

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