(Closed) Sometimes I have to wonder are you his mother or his spouse?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I did not do this while casually dating any guy, but when I moved in with my husband (at the time boyfriend) I did all the cleaning and all the laundry. This was out of a silent understanding that while he pays most of the bills and the mortgage, I could at least do some chores. Now that we are married, it is all routine for me.

Now, if I was the one working my ass off everyday and paying most of the bills, I would expect him to clean too.

The reason why a lot of girls probably do this is due to the outdated thought that men love women who are household slaves.  That is just not the case, you can clean and clean, but the guy is never going to love you or respect you.

We girls just do a lot of stupid things for men that probably do not deserve it…. I know I have.

Post # 4
5037 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

There are moments I definitely feel like his mom, but they’re pretty few and far between. He’s responsible and knows how to take care of himself 99% of the time. 

We don’t live together yet, but I don’t forsee it changing when we do. He’d make a better housewife than I would. 

Post # 5
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think that as long as two people are happy with the dynamics of their relationship, that is all that should matter.

Post # 6
8040 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@TwoCityBride:  I guess if it works for them then to each their own? I don’t know. I sure wouldn’t behave like this girl did. I think I did once in the past… when I was so young that I didn’t know any better, but I learned pretty soon that playing house wasn’t a way to get a guy to commit to me.

My boyfriend and I share the housework (we live together), if anything he does more of it than I do.


Post # 7
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Mr. 99 and I figure, as long as it gets done, it doesn’t matter who did it.

Post # 8
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@TwoCityBride:  i think its nice to do small things to take care of your SO but it has to be a two way street. right now, im doing all the domestic chores as i legally cant work in mexico(and im not risking gettign deported before the wedding :P).BUT, i want to work when im allowed, and if i was working fulltime, i would expect him to share chores too

i wouldnt clean the place of a guy that i wasnt living with or do his laundry. maybe shes trying to show that shes “wife material” and thats what she thinks it means?!

Post # 9
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She’s just trying to impress him but that rarely works. I know so many girls after a breakup that will say “He’s never going to find someone to treat him like I treat him or do for him what I did for him” and I want to say “Isn’t that the point?” Guys must have respect for the woman they’re with. I’ve never seen a guy respect a woman that acts he’s the be all and end all of her existence. That she’s nothing without him. A friend told me “you walk on rugs, you don’t marry them.” It was harsh but I can see where he was coming from.

If a woman chooses to make caring for her household and her husband her main priority, I say go for it but she needs to receive love and care in return. She needs to be loved and valued and her contribution needs to be acknowledged. It’s the ones that give everything and receive nothing that I feel for.

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