(Closed) Sometimes I just don’t feel like waiting any more…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I’m right there with ya!

I am not worried that we will get engaged. I know that is coming. And that just makes me like, MAN can we just get on with it! We’ve talked about it. We are getting married. Let’s do this thing!

 

And I know many people say, “well then you’re engaged!” But we are traditionalists (only in a few aspects) and we will not be engaged until he asks and gives me a ring. Ugh!

Post # 5
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@BluegrassBunny: I so agree with you… He’s asked me already, so technically we are engaged. But really won’t be until there’s a ring and a proposal.  A couple months ago I almost asked him, even told him I might ask him, lol.  He said, “No, I’m the one who needs to ask you.”

Anyone else a control freak like me?  I swear this is the ONE thing men have COMPLETE control over in the relationship, and it drives me bonkers waiting…

Post # 7
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I totally understand what you are going through!

I’ve been with my Boyfriend or Best Friend for 7 years, too. And we know we are getting married. he has even bought the stone for my ring. We’ve known we were going to be getting married three years into our relationship, but we were still in school. I also just graduated from college and I’m living at home again (because I can and it’s helping me save up money) and he is living at home because he is helping out his parents (who are struggling financially) and he can’t afford to live in an apartment and pay their mortgage, too. This is also the reason we aren’t publicly, officially engaged.

Basically, I’ve been where you are with the preplanning. When my best friend started planning her wedding OVER TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO (she got married this summer) I had done enough research on venues and photographers to send her detailed lists about each of them.

I’m now at the point in the waiting game where I think we’re just going to elope. I’m so sick of waiting that I don’t think I can wait several more years to be married.

Post # 8
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

@VickyAurea: I am hoping we will get engaged in 2011. We both just graduated, and he got a good job. (I am still unemployed since I moved to a remote area to be with him) I think right now it is pretty much a money thing, but he has made some comments making me think it isn’t just that. Like, it may be just not ready? I dunno. That is the frustrating part.

@calikary: It makes me feel like the worst sort of “modern woman” to think that it’s a man’s thing to propose, but I totally do. I know it is a “team” decision to get engaged, but HE is the one to propose.

On the other hand, what other option do we have? A) propose myself B) wait it out? C) bug the crap out of him til he thinks I’m crazy and rethink the whole thing D) Break  up?

 

Ummm, I guess I’ll go with B!

Post # 10
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@BluegrassBunny: Yes yes, I’m going with ‘B’ too… haha

@VickyAurea:  Also, and I need to do this more as well, focus on NOW.  All we have is right now.  The future will come but don’t forget to live and be in tune with the present moment.  Me and the SO are headed out of town for an overnight mini-trip just to get away and enjoy each other since we also both live at home (saving money).  I know the proposal won’t be this weekend (I planned this trip:P) but it can’t hurt to get away for a little bit to refocus the love we have in our relationship.  I suggest other bees do the same.   

Post # 11
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

Completely right there with all you ladies! It’s so frustrating. It’s so hard not having any control over the situation. My bf and I have been together 5 years. The wost part is that he said he was going to propose around the 4th of July. Well it didn’t happen. Money issues and such came up. Today is a bad day. I had to much time on my hands being the first week of the semester. I started thinking about how crushed I was when he broke the news that we had to wait. I envisioned a pretty little ring on my finger when walking around campus, planning my wedding between classes, admiring my ring during lecture:) lol.

So I have been being a big baby about it and complained to bf about it..ugh…told him that since it didn’t happen in july that now I just don’t believe that it will even happen..now I’m just gonna try to zip it.

Seriously though..some days I wanna buy my own ring and be like ok we’re engaged! lol

Like other Bees on here..We even know we’re getting married in 2013…

Stay strong!!

Post # 13
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry you’re having a rough day 🙁

I find waiting to be difficult too. It’s hard to know you are going to get engaged without an actual proposal. Its like you are engaged, but can’t really celebrate it yet.

I say go for the long engagement though if you really want to be engaged. why not? 

Post # 14
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

@VickyAurea:  Yes we do use that phrase! 🙂  I know I want to tell EVERYONE too!!  We had a great little mini-getaway this weekend, definitely needed!  It’ll be great for you guys to get away!  I need a hobby to keep me from thinking and planning too much!

Post # 16
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

@VickyAurea

That’s great news! I think sometimes men try to make it such a surprise that they don’t realize their lack of communication on the topic gets very hurtful. After a certain amount of time it’s like, ok, a surprise would have been like x amount of time ago. Now it’s just upsetting and I need more clarity on the topic. Also, I don’t remember if you said this or not..but have you told your Boyfriend or Best Friend that your timeline has changed? Maybe he doesn’t realized that a long engagement would be ok with you.

Sounds like things are going well for you though!! Yay!

~Sarah~

P.S. In response to your previous post to me, We have already planned on a small wedding and know about how much my dad is giving. My brother is getting married next year and my dad wanted to make sure and give equal amounts so of course my brother gave me a heads up:) lol I wish we could afford a big dream wedding but we just can’t. We also have two children together so I’m not really willing to wait any longer than I have to. Yet I want a wedding, not a court wedding. At one point I was ok with a really long engagement but then my daughter asked if mommy and daddy were married…(something daycare was talking about during V-day)I was heart broken and told my boyfriend I wanted it to happen sooner. These boards have been awesome for me.. Ahh ok I’m done sorry!

The topic ‘Sometimes I just don’t feel like waiting any more…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors