(Closed) Sometimes I just want to give up

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MsMadHatter:  I am so sorry that you are facing these financial stressors. You might not be able to have the BIG wedding but that doe snot mean that you cannot have a wedding at all or that you have to go to JOP. How about an intimate wedding with like 10 guests that you could have at your house (or a relatives place?). Just do the best you can right now. Then, when you get to a place where you are comfortable financially and still feel that you want that big wedding than renew your vows! How do you feel about this? How does Fiance feel? Why is the big, expensive wedding important to you? I know everything will work out! 😀 Have faith!

 

Edit: I think that you and Fiance need to seriously think what is most important to you? Getting married soon or having the big wedding and waiting (which could be a long wait)….

Post # 4
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I can relate.We found a nice restaurant that has a 500$ minimum and doesn’t charge to use their space.I paid 60$ for a dress on Craigslist and have used an insane amount of coupons at Michaels for items for our candy bar and decorations.We are only having 25 guests.You can still have a nice wedding.Just wanted you to know you are not alone!

Post # 5
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*hugs* I’m sorry to hear that things are so tough right now.  I know what it’s like to have severe clinical depression, but the plus side is things will eventually look up 🙂 I’m sure you’re putting aside any little bits of money, maybe just whatever’s left at the end of the week or month, and then buy things as you can… it sounds like you don’t have a venue booked or anything so you do have that flexibility as far as a date, but I definitely understand you wanting to be able to just do it! As far as money, have you thought about stuff like food stamps just to open up some of your available income so finances aren’t so stressful?

Post # 8
Member
8115 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

You could do both.  You could do the JOP thing for now and once you get financially stable, have the wedding of your dreams.  

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MsMadHatter:  Wow.  I can relate a lot.  FI proposed Christmas Eve 2010 as well.  A week later, he was laid off from work.  I didn’t fret right away because we had well over a year to plan and I was working.  Unfortunately, things haven’t worked out in our favor.  Here’s a few recaps of 2011:

  • Fiance would get work, but then screwed by the employers.  People wouldn’t pay him what they promised or pay him at all.
  • Future In-Laws had huge fights and Septemeber was their worse.  In result, Father-In-Law kicked us out of the house (which we were to live with them until after the wedding).  We had to spend our wedding savings on our move and new apartment.
  • Future In-Laws backed out of paying for the wedding, but bought a new boat, windows, etc.  That was grand.  
  • Fiance never found a job until he started his own plumbing business in January.  It’s obviously going to take time to get started.

I was so angry for awhile.  Very depressed.  I almost called off getting married all together.  Fi and I finally decided we’d do a courthouse shindig, go out to dinner, then enjoy our cruise.  Fortunately, Future Mother-In-Law finally felt bad enough to offer us her house for the ceremony/reception. They will be footing the entire bill.  It’s not my dream wedding that I was planning (and that was totally do-able!), but I’ll take it.

Post # 11
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MsMadHatter:  It’s a true roller coaster of emotions.  I’m sorry you have to experience the same as we did.  It was really tough for awhile.  I couldn’t accept the fact that it was out of my hands because of another person.

You can PM me at any time with vents, questions, etc.

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