(Closed) Sometimes I think you wouldn’t come if you weren’t in the wedding party..

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@moderndaisy: I don’t know about my wedding party per se, but I have been absolutely SHOCKED at the number of declines.  Especially from close family and people who told me over and over that they wouldn’t miss it for the world.

We invited 200 and we’re going to be lucky to get 125.  It’s been the single most disappointing party of this process.  You are totally not alone.  I have been throwing a “nobody wants to come to our wedding” pity party for the last two weeks.

Post # 4
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Oh I know that this will happen to us.  But considering we are inviting family that hasn’t spoke to us in 15 years, I guess we are “asking” for it.

Cheer up, those that do come will have an awesome time and those that don’t well, they will most likely regret it!

Post # 6
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Ugh, I felt that way too! I know our wedding was a week before Christmas, but we put a lot of thought and time into deciding which 50 people to invite. Many of those who declined had said they’d be there no matter what, AND were local to the wedding. We had 27 people there. Their loss! Oh, and it was people who were like family and had said they’d help with stuff who didn’t show…yup.

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’ve had a few surprising “no’s” as well. My fiance had set up his honour guard and chosen the 6 guys to do it, and 2 have replied no to the wedding.  So, some of our extended wedding party kind of isn’t coming. 

Post # 8
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We invited 230, expecting 110… very upsetting indeed.

Post # 9
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yep same here.  So many people I talked to earlier I told that I would understand if they were busy or couldn’t make it, and so many said “oh are you kidding I wouldn’t miss you getting married for the world!  I will make it work no matter what.”  Not one of those people is actually coming.  I was sad about it for a long time because they made me feel like I could count on them sharing this big thing with me.

Post # 10
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I wonder if so many people are declining because of the bad economy and they honestly can’t afford to attend or buy a gift.  I know I’ve read a lot of posts from people on here saying they get angry when someone doesn’t “cover their plate”. Maybe people don’t want to offend anyone if they can’t afford a “good” gift. 

Post # 11
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We will have 155 out of 300. I’m a little surprised to see how many people on this thread have the same accept/decline rate! We sent out a lot of courtesy invites and live/are having the wedding 6 hours away from most of our guests/family. It was most frustrating when people just didn’t reply at all, but now that we’ve moved on from the RSVP stuff and are working on seating charts and placecards and things, the dark cloud has lifted and I’m able to focus on being excited about the many loved ones who are making the trip and arrange their busy June schedules to be with us.

@lynnabby – I think you’re right that the economy is playing a role too.

Post # 12
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

We had 85 out of the 100 invited,so it was pretty good actually. It is disappointing when people decline,but if you look at it that you’ll actually be able to spend more time with whoever does come rather than being spread too thin all night,you’ll be OK.

Post # 13
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We don’t have our final count yet, but right now we are at about 120, with close to 220 invited, and approximately 20 outstanding RSVPs.  I can see how it would be particularly hard to receive declines from people who are close to you(or your bridal party- what the heck!).  

However, for me, every time we get a decline in the mail, I am actually excited to 1) Save money and to 2) Spend more quality time with those who can make it.  It is a bit of a relief because I was able to extend an invitation to those people who I thought might want to attend, and they were the ones to choose not to come, instead of being uninvited.  I think smaller wedding can be awesome.  Yes, I want to share the day with my family and friends, but my number one is marrying my fiance.  I think when the day comes, we will be so over-joyed that we won’t even notice that most of the declines are missing.  

Post # 14
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow, it’s one thing if you just plain can’t make it, but if you swore up and down that you’d be there, you should keep your word!  I officially have 210 guests invited, and my hall seats 200, so I’m kind of counting on a few declines!

About covering your plate, I think it’s hard to guess how expensive your plate will be at any particular wedding, especially if the only information you have about the type and formality of the wedding is what’s on the invitation.  If you don’t recognize the name of the venue, you’ll be at a loss determining how much of a gift to give.  Covering your plate could easily be as inexpensive as $10 and as expensive as $100.  So I think people should be less worried about whether they can cover their plate and just bring whatever gift they can afford.

That’s my two cents anyway.  Smile

Post # 15
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am shocked at the number of family members that won’t be attending.  None of my extended family has even RSVP’d (the deadline is in 2 weeks)!  It’s very sad when people talk about being so excited to be at your wedding, but when the time comes, they don’t even seem to care.  Pity party for me too!

Post # 16
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My wedding was a couple months ago. I actually had an uncle rsvp yes (one who I hadnt seen in a while because he lives 20 hours away). I was sooo excited. He drove down two weeks before the wedding and left the week before the weddding – did not even stop in to say hi to me or my then Fiance. I was hurt for a day and then I figured that it was his loss and I had a blast. It stinks – but when it comes down to the actual day there are so many people there that love you and want to be there!

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