- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Everyone’s telling me how to do everything and they all seem to be extra sensitive lately. People ask me what I want with certain elements of the wedding or how I’m going to do things and the reaction I almost always get is that my ideas suck and aren’t nice enough or traditional enough.
It doesn’t help that I had a talk with my fiance today and he admitted that part of the reason that he pushed for a wedding and reception instead of something significantly more low key was because of pressure from his family. Most of the time I don’t even feel like the day is going to be ours. We’re going to keep trying hard to salvage different parts of the planning process and try to make the day great and I wonder if people are just going to look at what we did wrong or did cheaply.
I feel awful about the wedding sometimes. Our budget isn’t a lot and weirdly enough my mom thinks it’s so low that it’s embarrassing, but I just feel guilt. I don’t know why I caved into buying a new dress among other things. I wanted to buy as few new things as possible because I knew that would make me happy on my wedding day. People were telling me that I needed colors even though I hadn’t planned on that, and that I needed a bridal party even though that wasn’t what I wanted. And if we would have put our foot down with even half of these things we would have gotten yelled at. My fiance’s mom literally tried to kick him out of the house and screamed at him in front of the neighbors just because he was insisting on us having a Friday wedding. I wish I was kidding. And she forced him to make his brother his best man, only his brother is in prison for another year. So now she’s trying to make his dad, who didn’t even raise him and is a severe alcoholic, his best man.
I realize that we could try to eat a few thousands dollars and decide to have it our way, even if the invites have been sent. I know that. But we also have to leave our apartment in 2 weeks and still haven’t found a place. I don’t know how to really voice my concerns to my bridesmaids because it really feels like nobody listens to me. I literally told them several times that they could wear whatever shoes they wanted and they said no, it’s a wedding. But it’s my wedding and I’m really not trying to complicate things.