Post # 1
I just needed a place to get this off my chest. Sometimes I sincerely wish that my husband would find someone else and just leave. We were married 10/2011 and I have been completely miserable ever since. He’s a bit of a hypochondriac and has diagnosed himself with celiac disease (has never been to a doctor for this) – so we eat nothing for meals except fish, chicken, rice, and/or vegetables. (I absolutely love any sort of bread product, and baking is one of my big hobbies, so it’s very frustrating.) He has also managed to convince his sister and brother that they also have celiac (again, none of them have ever been to a doctor for this) so now, literally EVERY family function we go to is spent discussing their supposed ailments. It drives me INSANE. I realize that celiac is a very real disease, but I would put much more stock in what he said if he was willing to go the doctor and get a diagnosis. I tried to discuss going to a doctor last night, but he says there’s no point because he “already knows” that he has celiac.
Something else that really upsets is that he is SO rude about my family. His family is quite a bit more relaxed and easygoing, but he is constantly praising his family and talking about how “uptight” my family is, or how my mom and sister are crazy, or how everybody needs to just “chill out.” I get so sick of it because I would never say anything rude about his family to him.
This all sounds so stupid as I type it out, like I said I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way – you really should talk to him about it if you’re going to the extreme in saying you wish he’ll leave you.
I know that celiac disease is a real disease and can make people miserable and hopeless. I have two family members that don’t quite have it, but are almost to that point. It really sounds like a tough thing to have to face for the rest of your life. Be gentle with him, but you do need to talk.
Post # 4
I know you are probably exaggerating by saying you wish he would leave, but if its getting to that breaking point you need to tell him and maybe get him some help.
Post # 5
Why don’t you leave him then if you feel this way? Definitely sounds like you two should at least go to counseling (and he shoudl see a dr about that Celiac’s!). Talking about your spouses family in a negative way is a big NO-NO!
Post # 6
While all this sounds annoying and frustrating, u should not be miserable everyday. Is there something deeper going on?
Post # 7
Regarding the celiacs:
A good friend of mine has it, and it’s hard to deal with. If he’s making it up and not seeing a doctor, that’s a big issue in and of itself. If he does have it, there are ways to get your carb fixes in – gluten free pizza crust, gluten free pasta, etc… they even make gluten free beer now. You should tell him that you want him to see a doctor for your own peace of mind. If he gets a real diagnosis, then you can figure out how to adapt your eating habits and lifestyle to fit with someone who has celiacs, or you can see if it truly is hypochrondria.
Regarding your family:
You need to have a serious talk with him. It’s not okay for someone to talk like that about your family at all. Different families act differently, it doesn’t mean either is better or worse. Tell him how much it hurts he insults your mom and your sister. Give him real examples, and hope that he will come around/
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds like some couples counseling could be beneficial for you both.
Post # 8
@questioning: Did he act like this previous to getting married?
Post # 9
@questioning: I have celiac disease. And its not something you can just guess that you have. And he can do the the doctor and they can determine it through a blood test, but if hes eating healthy & staying away from gluten then it will show up negative. Its great that he is eating this way to make himself feel better. But he is trying to convince everyone that they have it then thats a little crazy. I dont blame you for being upset. But if he really does have celiac then i feel his pain. Its a hard thing to deal with, be easy on him. As for the family thing, you need to tell him straight out how you feel about the way he talks about your family!
Post # 10
Why must you eat whatever he eats? You’re two separate people.
ETA: Fiance most likely has celiac’s because his mother does. We’re getting him tested after we’re married and he’s put onto my insurance. I’ll eat as much as he does as much as possible, but I’m not going to sacrifice everything. He’ll completely understand as well.
Post # 11
Sounds like there’s some deeper issues brewing. Talk to him, schedule a doctors appointment and go together, and talk to him some more after he has been diagnosed or gets some insight.
Post # 12
This sounds like normal stuff. Is there something else more deeply rooted that is bothering you? Everyone has annoying habits. Wanting your husband to leave you sounds like there would be some reason other than just an annoying habit. Although the suggestions above could be helpful, this sounds like symptoms of a bigger problem to me.