(Closed) Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to invite them.(VENT)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You don’t have to invite them.  If they are this toxic- maybe it’s time to sit down with your father and discuss not inviting them.  It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them or that you don’t want to have a better relationship with them.  But at some point when a person treats you so badly, they have to see the consequences of that treatment, or they will never change.  Good luck and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this…

Post # 5
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It sucks a lot, but sometimes the only way for some people to be convinced that they have to treat others with a basic amount of human kindness and consideration is for those other people to stand up for themselves.  I don’t mean to speak badly of your family when I don’t even know them, but from what you’ve written, all the grandparents are fairly selfish people.  So to get them to act right, you have to show them why it would benefit them to do so.  You’re already on the right track- your stepgrandmother now has to realize that if she wants to see you, she has to take a break from smoking.  The ball is now in her court.  The same thing goes for the wedding.  They need to be taught that if they want to be invited to major family events, they have to learn to act appropriately.  If they refuse to do so, they won’t be invited.  But if people keep inviting them to things, well from the selfish point of view, they really have no incentive to change.

Again, sorry you and your father have to deal with this.

Post # 9
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

They sound like characters out of a novel, not relatives in a real person’s life. I’m sorry that they act so crummy – you’re a more forgiving person than I, based on your edit. Wishing you the best of luck – just think, soon you will be married and have your own family!

Post # 12
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh wow. Poor you. Is your dad v upset? That’s awful. Hugs.

Post # 14
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh that’s horrible. It’s hard enough without all the additional drama. Take care of yourselves and I wish you all the best!

Post # 16
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@trugem:

Geez.  I’m so sorry you’ve not only had to deal with this mess, but all while trying to plan a wedding.  Bleh.  I hope your dad is doing okay, and that you can get by without bringing step-granny to the wedding – I doubt she’d behave herself.  What if you tell her it’s at a non-smoking facility?  Or up a lot of stairs?

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