(Closed) Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends! Looooong ass BM vent!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Firstly, take a deep calming breath and pray! Secondly, {hugs}. Thirdly, call her on her mess, but before you do refer to first point. 🙂 She’s being really selfish. Planning a wedding can be stressful, that’s why you will see on occasion bridezillas! You don’t need someone around you who makes you more stressed out. The role of the Bridesmaid or Best Man is to be there to take some of the stress off you.

Post # 4
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010


I think you are both overreacting.

She’s just trying to join in on the fantasy element of weddings by discussing her dream wedding with you. i think that’s her way of relating.

Instead of blasting her for being selfish and inconsiderate, you yourself could make sure that all the BMs have met and are in contact. I think that’s really your job. They should all be communicating about the shower, etc – but if they aren’t allready all friends, you need to be the one to get the ball rolling on that.

Post # 5
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This does suck…but it sounds like she assumed none of your other BM’s were doing anything or willing to help so maybe it was just a miscommunication error (not necessarily YOURS though) somewhere along the line, and maybe she just got fed up after a little while not realizing there ARE people out there to help. Maybe you can just ask your mom to hostess?

One thing I’ve realized is there’s a LOT of people out there who are really excited about throwing parties for people they know if they can invite people they know, but if it involves calling/contacting people they’re not familiar with they just back down.

I have a similar thing going on…my whole family and 3 BM’s live in my hometown (9 hrs away) so we’re having a shower there with that side and those 3 bm’s are all into the planning. I have 2 BMs in my current town which is near all of FI’s family. So it would sort of make sense for those 2 BM’s to host my party here, or atleast do it together with FI’s mom/stepmom…but they are totally not into it whatsoever. One of them is willing to throw me a party AT HER HOUSE with our WORK friends but won’t go through any effort to invite FI’s family. It’s not like I would force her to do anything but she’s always the one who likes/wants to have parties so it’s odd that she won’t just do this.  *sigh*


Post # 6
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I can kinda see where some of her resentment could be coming from…. if the other Bridesmaid or Best Man haven’t gone with ya’ll for shopping or fittings, or looked over projects.. inspiration boards… I mean she’s doing all the things that my Maid/Matron of Honor did BUT she’s not being called that <– which to some is a pretty big deal.

I would start asking some of the other ladies for some more help and send an email to all of them together about getting needed info for any showers/parties they are planning.

Let them figure out who is going to do what in them and you stay out of it.

As for this particular friend I would try and talk with her and just apologize about her feeling so stressed, you love her, and you just want everything to be as stress free as possible… for everyone… including the both of you. I would overlook the stag/doe party email… lol

Remember, that as epic our wedding days are.. they really aren’t worth killing relationships.

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