- 8 years ago
…and any other non-bannable curse word you can think of.
I feel like I’m back to square one again. The other night, he pulled the “just want to make sure” line again. GDSOABMF. I said, “wait a minute, you told me you finally knew”. He said, “it’s a big decision…just wanna make sure.” And of course I talked to him about how if he doesn’t know after 3.5 yrs, he’s not gonna know….that all you can do is know everything about a person but at some point it’s a leap of faith, that his waiting is a slap in the face to me because it makes me question (even though I know it’s not me, it’s him) what’s wrong with me, etc., etc. (He of course said there’s nothing wrong with me, and I know it’s not about me, but whatever.) He was like, “you know how long it takes me to make a decision on little things….this is the biggest decision of my life.” I told him “Man up. Make a decision. It’s unfair to me to keep me waiting forever.”
What this tells me is that he hasn’t taken the time to sit down and really think about what he wants. He’s just been on cruise control, enjoying status quo, waiting for some lightening bolt to hit him. But it’s not going to. There’s nothing that’s going to change in the next 2 months or 6 months or year that will be any different than the last 3 years…no lightening bolt…no “aha!” moment….
It makes me very frustrated because it made me realize that there’s little to be achieved in waiting another 6 months for my SOGOTP date. I told him that he really hurt my feelings by saying that he STILL “just wants to make sure”, and I told him that it would mean a lot to me if he just took 20 minutes to sit down quietly this week and really think about what he wants (it’s sad that I have to give him “homework”).
Hopefully he will do this. Hopefully. My logical analytical brain is telling me that there’s nothing he will figure out in 6 months that he can’t figure out (and buy and propose) in 2. I already don’t know if I can “act” on my SOGOTP date (i.e. actually kick him out or break up or whatever), much less if I move it up 4 months.
I am at a loss, ladies. What do I have to do to get this man to realize that the status quo can’t stay forever. I have communicated my feelings, the realities, etc., til I am blue in the face. I have followed Mr. Bee’s back-up plan….with very little recent nagging re the subject. But I have a strong (horrible) suspicion that NOTHING will change if I don’t do something to disrupt the status quo.