(Closed) Soo… I offended my cake decorator.. which of us is overreacting

posted 10 years ago in Food
Post # 3
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, she sounds terrible, and I would fire her. Then post on all the local boards. She is cake maker. She should get over herself.

Post # 4
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Um. No, you didn’t over react. From what you showed here, she was EXTREMELY unprofessional. Honestly, I wouldn’t work with this woman. Her lack of professionalism aside, she obviously isn’t willing to work with you to create what YOU want on YOUR wedding day.

I especially love the line about you being “thoughtless and self-centered”. Excuse me? This is YOUR wedding!!!

Post # 5
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Wow.  Has she not heard that the customer is always right?!

I’m a cake decorator and I’ve never had problems with a cake topper staying on the cake…I could put a brick on a cake and as long as I did my part to make sure it’s well supported, it would be fine.  She sounds overly dramatic and very unprofessional. 

I wouldn’t do business with her.  Hopefully you can find someone else!!

Post # 6
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Unless you’ve said something I didn’t see, then she is acting like an artistic snob. You’re the one paying her, right? Then she should be listening and doing… not acting as she is. Her business ethics and customer service down right suck! She has no right to even confront you in the way that she has. So what if you want to do your own clay pieces? That is none of her business unless they weigh 20lbs of course. ๐Ÿ™‚

Lol and do just what monitajb said, there is no way in hello she would get a cent out of me!

Post # 7
18 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

It is so hard to to tell a person’s tone when reading an e-mail.  Once she became offended there was nothing you could do to convince her that you weren’t attacking her work.  Perhaps if you spoke to her on the phone she would understand what you are really trying to say?  I’m so sorry your day was ruined.  It sounds like you were being really nice in your apology e-mail and it just didn’t come across to her.

Post # 8
4485 posts
Honey bee

Fire her asap as she is being very unreasonable and unprofessional.

Post # 10
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

A couple of questions:  have you in fact paid her a deposit?  Is it an amount you are comfortable walking away from?  Are there any other cake designers in your area who are capable of creating what you would like at a reasonable price point?  Did you originally discuss having a bride and groom fireman on the cake when you hired her?  Was the price of the fondant bride and groom included in your original price?

I met with several cake designers who I would honestly consider to be artists, and who I think would be quite uncomfortable with placing anything on their cake that they did not personally design.  They also consider it a point of pride that everything on the cake is edible.  So I can understand how she may be feeling.  But you raised a fair point in that you were concerned about the cost of having her create your vision.  If you made changes to the cake that she is not comfortable with, then she should have told you, “I am comfortable with making a fondant bride and groom for XYZ dollars, and if you need a clay bride and groom made from an alternative source, I’m just not comfortable making a cake with that and I will be happy to refund your deposit and you can find another baker who will be happy to create your vision.”   If she found your request upsetting and unreasonable, she never should have attacked you. She simply should have explained that every cake she makes is a reflection of her, and that she isn’t comfortable with having anyone else’s work included.  Her behavior was extremely unprofessional, and if it is possible to replace her, I would encourage you to do so.

Also, I don’t know how big your wedding cake is, but I’m not sure you want to deal with schlepping it 45 minutes in the Tennessse heat in July unless you have access to an air-conditioned van. 

Post # 12
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Is this woman running her business out of her home? For her to complain about how unstable toppers are, etc… that makes me think she doesn’t know what she’s doing. If a tiered cake is supported properly with cake boards & dowels then NOTHING is going to make the layers shift and the topper will stay put. It doesn’t sound like she knows the basic construction of a cake. Hmm OR maybe she was just trying to get more money out of you? Either way, it’s a good idea to cut her loose.

She sounds completely unprofessional & most sane business owners would not act that way. There’s a reason people should wait 24 hours before sending a heated, emotional letter. That letter was off the charts crazy.

Decorating cakes/pastries is most definitely an art form & she should be proud of her work, but whats the point if she scares off all her customers?! Take an art class or decorate for fun instead! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This lady sounds insane.  Seriously.  Sorry if I’m being harsh, but her email to you made ME mad and I’m not even the one buying the cake from her!!  You’re hiring her to make YOU a cake that YOU want.  If you want it a certain way, she can either do it that way or tell you no can do, go elsewhere.  She needs to check her ego.   Who is she, the only person around with artistic ability?  I totally feel you on this one, and obviously I do not think you are overreacting at ALL! 

If it counts for anything, I think you handled yourself very professionally and politely  ๐Ÿ™‚  Major points for that one, you are definitely the bigger person!

Post # 15
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

She’s definitely overreacting.  Honestly, I would really hesitate to work with a vendor like this. 

Post # 16
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

personally i hate short and to the point text messages – i do think they can often be seen as rude and abrupt

im wondering if her initial concern about someone else making a topper was because if it went on her cake and the cake was affected because of the weight then chances are she would have blamed her for the cake being ruined when she obvously isnt comfortable with someone else creating a topper for her cakes

yes her email is out there but obviously OP was pressing her buttons somehow and she reacted. whether she had any right to react i cant judge because im not privy to the entire event and what lead up to it

edit: but then again she could be a total fruitcake that is going to poison your guests… had to say it ๐Ÿ™‚

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