(Closed) Soon-to-be and past brides: Was wedding-planning stressful?

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can’t say what it will be like for you, but I can tell you what it’s been like for me! When I was as far out as you are now from my own date, I felt exactly the same way…like, we’ve got this in the bag, everything’s fallen into place, no more worries. As the date approaches though, I found so many little things that need to be taken care of. Sure, all the major stuff is planned and that helps to keep stress low, but I’ve found a lot of new more minor detail-oriented things to stress over.

When I was early in my planning, I would read emotional posts and think “That could never be me!” but I find myself feeling just like those girls about things like a friend trying to invite an unwanted +1, my Future Mother-In-Law adding a flower girl to the wedding, or a lack of communication from one of my vendors. As you get closer, the problems become more real and you actually have to deal with them–when I was planning, everything was just all possibilities.

It depends on your personality, I suppose. I am incredibly type A and admittedly somewhat of a control freak, so that can make it a little more stressful. Nothing really stressed me out until we hit the 3-month mark or so–then it all sort of hit me! Hopefully your experience will be all stress-free 🙂

Post # 4
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can say that my planning has not been very stressful at all! Except mother in law making us invite about 10 unwanted people. Buy pretty much everything is done.

We already chose our bands just have to buy them this weekend.

This weekend we are finalizing our menu and paying the caterer.

Next Tuesday we are booking our videographer.

Then we need to reserve the tux for all the guys and buy the bridesmaids dresses.

Post # 5
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s not the decision making that was stressful, it was the family drama. There was a LOT of it. So yeah, because of that planning was stressful.

Post # 7
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I have to agree with MaraBeth in that I also had that stress-free feeling for the first few months and especially after all the big vendors were booked. Now that we’re only 2 months away, crunch time has arrived and I’m very busy. But that would also be mine and FI’s faults for leaving things to the last minute (not quite the last minute, yet…)

Everyone’s planning is going to be different. We may not all have that terrible family drama, or the last minute cancelling vendors, but there’s still that little list we all have screaming, “FINISH ME NOW!” at us. The point is, we can tell you that you will most likely be very busy once it gets closer, it never hurts to be prepared for the worst, and DO NOT sweat the small stuff!

Good luck! 🙂

Post # 8
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The thing that stressed me out the most was dealing with RSVP’s – especially with people that didn’t seem to know what they were doing until the day of!  I had wiggle room since I was doing buffet and my cater made food for the amount of people I asked for and not the actual count day of, but it was annoying to say the least.  How can you not figure out whether you can come to a wedding or not??

Other then that, the last minute details made me somewhat crazy too.  Other then that, planning was pretty easy for me and I loved all my DIY projects!

Post # 9
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think how stressful planning is depends on many factors

1) Do you stress easy?

2) Family and friend support or lack there-of

3) Your own expectations vs budget vs time for planning

4) How well organized you are (DIY projects done ahead of time, patience to do them, finding vendors and confirming them ahead of time)

5) Other commitments while planning (busy job, school, kids etc)

6) Family drama and imposed expectations, demands, guest lists

7) Budget and where its coming from

8) Reactions from guests and your specific desires (no kids, destination, not being invited etc)

and so many more!

Lots of the stress can come from places other than you!


Post # 10
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@spartal: I would read those posts and not understand what people got so worked up over, until something like that happened to me. The rational side of you knows it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things…but investing so much time and money into a single day is kind of inherently stressful in the sense that you want all of your hard work and financial commitment to be worth it. It was fun planning for the majority of the time, but now that it’s actually feeling real, it definitely gets a little more hectic!

@CherryWaves: We’re date twins! And I totally feel the crunch time. It’s not so much that we put stuff off as that we assumed we had tons of time. It just sort of crept up on us. It’s not like a full-on panic, more like a constant state of heightened anxiety that I will not get all of these things done!

Post # 11
14497 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Nope.  Practically zero stress once we nailed down a date that worked with the venue.  (Chinese got tons of bad luck/good luck etc dates that you *must* follow.  But everything else was pretty easy, we seemed to wait a pretty long time, but whatever, it got done before the wedding – photog we booked 6 months out, dj 2 months out, center pieces about 2 months, bouquets I ended up booking 2 weeks before the wedding… oops, cutting it close, but it wasnt stressful since I was going to DIY. Guest list was easy, everyone got along, zero drama, and budget was not a problem. 

Post # 12
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Let’s just say I experienced more emotion in this last year than I have in my entire life.  It came down to fretting over details, and DIY items, and then whenever Darling Husband and I would disagree on something, I would stress and man would I cry over these things. On hindsight, it all sounds so silly, but at the time us agreeing was so important to me that I let it get to me.  My wedding day was just magical in the end though, so it was all worth it!

Post # 13
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope! it really wasn’t stressful for me!  aside from a few family issues at the beginning regarding the incorporation of religion in the ceremony, it honestly has been smooth sailing for me.  and i’m getting married in a week!

But, the caveat is that while i am very much a Type A person, i’m also a Type A person that doesn’t get stressed out easily. I attacked my to do list, kept revising it as I went along, and watched as things got checked off. a lot of work/time? yes. More than i realized when i was 6 months out? absolutely. But stressful? no, it’s been fun! 🙂

FYI, i don’t deal well with unexpected change either, at all! but somehow with the wedding it has been easier to deal with – maybe because I can see the bigger picture (“I’m marrying the love of my life!” and it gives me perspective?  i dont know, but i’ve handled it better than i do in other facets of my life!

Post # 15
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think a lot of it is what you make it. Ours has been pretty fun and relatively stress free – and we’re planning it in a little over 3 months!

Post # 16
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I was only stressed for the final week. Not too bad, I’d say!

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