(Closed) soon to be hubby brought this home last night :(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OP, all I can say is I hope you insist and I hope he takes to heart wearing as much protective gear as possible, and that he abides by speed limits and doesn’t make his own lane like I’ve seen so many people on these types of motorcycles do. If not for your or his own sake, but for that of your kids. Obviously not everyone, or even most people who ride, do so dangerously, but I’ve been passed by enough of these crotch rockets on the highway who make their own lanes between cars going 90+ during rush hour wearing no helmets that I can flat out say I hate them. Owning one of these vehicles would be a deal breaker for me. Good luck, OP.

Post # 18
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance rides. He has a daily driver but also a bike for fun. I understand your fears but IMO you have to understand his love for his bike. It’s scary and dangerous but hopefully your Fiance is safe and knows how to ride with caution and awarness of his surroundings. We also do the text me as soon as you get where you are going safely! It helps with the worry!

Post # 20
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I grew up my entire life on the back of my Dads motercycle he’s been in about  crashes in 50 years and I’ve been in one. Never even broken a bone from it just a few scratches. He just has to be smart and careful its just as dangerous as a car. Don’t worry.

Ride with him.

Ask him to be careful.

Post # 21
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just try to compare it to something I love, like shopping… If he told me I couldn’t shop I would be so angry! So I can’t really tell him he can’t ride bc he loves it. It helps him destress and is seriously something that makes him happy in his life. I can’t take that away from him. I don’t like that he chose such a dangerous thing for his happy place but I don’t think it’s fair to tell him he can’t do it! Be glad your FI is safe! Thats one thing I’m greatful for, my Fiance is the same way! Hope yall figure it out and it doesn’t cause any crazy fights!

Post # 22
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You have my sympathy. I am kind of annoyed at your Fiance for you. I think that all big purchases should be made together as husband and wife. I know you are not yet married, but the fact that he bought it without your consent irks me since very soon your finances will be joint.

We had a bike up until this year but sold it because we had a friend get in a crash and die. Also my husband wrecked his bike two summers ago and although he was not hurt it was never the same for him. Just be sure to wear the safety gear (helmet, jacket, jeans, boots, gloves etc) and be careful, don’t do any stunting or dangerous riding. It’s bad enough that cars do not watch out for the bikes…

Post # 23
Member
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  Hey, we have one of those, too! Fiance doesn’t ride it often anymore, mostly because a) he was having problems with it up until recently, and b) it’s sitting at his mom’s because we have no place for it here. He wears a full face helmet all the time, pants, gloves, padded jacket, and closed shoes, no exceptions. He only rides when the roads are clear, always stone sober.

Post # 24
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Happy7:  Maybe I’m extreme but I think it’s selfish for people to ride bikes if their SO disagrees w. it. To me it’s just a stupid, unnecessary risk. At the VERY LEAST make sure he has the proper equipment… the full suit (with brace if possible), helmet, boots.. the whole works. It’s not fun being in a burn unit because your skin was ripped off in a crash.

 

Post # 25
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My Fiance also has a bike and it makes me so nervous. Our compromise is that he wears a helmet at all times. And also that he took a life insurance policy on himself the same day (morbid?) so if god forbid something wear to happen at least we would have that. 

I did not read all the comments, I know the emotional side of something happening to him is not solved by a life insurance policy, but I would definetly make sure he has one that covers any financial burden that could be lifted as a result (again, morbid, sorry!)

Other than that, I don’t have much advice since I am right there with you on the nervous part!

Post # 26
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Buy him safety-gear. Does he wear a helmet? Leather jacket/chaps? Boots? If he’s wearing those, it might ease your fear a bit.

I would also have a serious talk with him & ask him what he does to be safe (not accuse him of being unsafe). That might help, too.

Post # 27
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah, I’d be livid…there’s no way in heck anyone in my family is riding a motorcycle. And this is not just because a few people I know got seriously hurt/died…but because I know the statistics don’t lie…they are a horrible accident waiting to happen. Even the most resposible motorcycle driver is invisible to the most responsible motorist. 

I used tow ork in real estate, and I can’t tell you how many widows I met thanks to the motorcycle….and now I’m a student nurse…so yeah, enough said…I need no more convincing that bikes are a waste of money and too dangerous to even be in my life.

If I were you, I’d tell him the bike goes….that there is probably very few things in our relationship that are non negotiable and this is one of them. 

Post # 28
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BrookieCookie9:  Not sure any amount of money would make me feel better about my Husband riding a motorcycle. Casket paid? Great…funeral paid? Double great? My sanity back? Probably not going to happen. 

Post # 29
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

We both ride. We love our bikes, but neither of us are allowed on them with out full protection. Thats with armored jakets, full helmets, chaps, boots and gloves.

Thats our compromise. 

 

Post # 30
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@canarydiamond:  I agree with you. My aunt worked in a hospital and she said that the doctors used to joke that motorcycle accident victims were like “humpty-dumpties” because try as you might, you couldn’t put them back together again. Motorcycles are no joke. There’s very very few restrictions I would ever set but motorcycle riding is one of them.

Post # 31
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I am the only person in my family without a bike license. My mom and sister are both nurses (mom retired now and sis works in critical care) so they have seen it all…but my parents wouldn’t give their bike up for anything (and my dad is 77, mom is 75!). My ex was in a very serious bike accident less than 2 years after we were married and was out of work for 4 years because of it.

However I would never dream of telling my FH what he can and cannot do! He had wanted his bike license since he was 16 and finally went and got it last year. It was a dream that he had always had and who am I to kill that for him? He took a full motorcycle course that taught complete bike safety and he wears his gear at all times…that’s all I can ask.

I ride horses…it isn’t safe either. I wear my helmet at all times and am as safe as I can possibly be. If FH had ever demanded that I give it up because he thought it was too dangerous then I would have told him to get lost.

There are things in everyone lives that those people love…some more dangerous than others…take that away and I think at some point it could breed resentment.

The topic ‘soon to be hubby brought this home last night :(’ is closed to new replies.

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