(Closed) Soon to be in between jobs . . . so have a baby??

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
8981 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

It’s a lot to consider but if I were unhappy with my current career, my husband wanted a baby also, we could afford for me to not work and be off for a while with a baby, then it would be a pretty resounding, Yes- let’s have a baby. I don’t think that for many people they are lucky enough to have kids at the perfect time, but if you want a baby, don’t leave it too long. You never know what life may deal you.

Post # 3
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d definitely do it! Why not? Of course there’s no perfect time but it sounds like it’s as good of a time as any. Fiance and I are contemplating TTC this summer if I don’t get into grad school, we couldn’t really think of reasons not to. 

Post # 4
1937 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sounds like you’re in a perfect spot to me, if you were going to change fields anyway this is a perfect time to take a breather, evaluate where you want to go, and get settled with the babeh before you embark on something new!

Post # 5
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

my motto is “if you wait for the perfect time, you’ll be waiting forever”. DH and I ended up getting pregnant right before my contract ended as well. things have a way of working out 🙂 go for it!!

Post # 6
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No advice since I haven’t been there *yet* but my DH and I are having a lot of the same conversations. We’re also academics. He just got a tenure-track job in a new city that holds some promise for me but no immediate job leads. We’re hoping to start TTC some time in the next year, and it scares me that my career could be interrupted, not only by a potential unemployment stint while I figure out a new city and potentially a new career path, but also by a baby. 

But at some point, he and I will hit our tolerance level for external issues delaying/affecting our personal life together. We got plenty of that in the grad school years, lol, and eventually you just have to jump off the diving board. 

Good luck to you! I am sure we’ll both figure it out 🙂

Post # 8
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You said your husband would be OK with you “temporarily” not working.  How long is “temporary”?…3 months, a year, 5 years, forever?  I think you 2 need to have a discussion about this first before any decisions are made.

For most women, it is REALLY hard to take time off and expect to get back at the same level they were before they left the work force.

There are millions of women that work and have a family.  Both DH and I grew up with 2 working parents and we turned out fine.  It can be done.

Post # 10
188 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
bluegreenjean:   Meh, It’s pretty much what I’m doin’ right now. TTC that is. I would never admit it to anyone, but, yah, the fact that my career is not really the way I invisioned it, combined with the fact that my husband is making enough for the both of us definitely played into the decision. I say do what you want, not what others “expect” you to do : ) P.S. If you do decide to go for it, don’t be like me and think it happens instantly when you stop preventing. Seems like it might take us a while and I’ve always been so healthy… Boo! Good luck with your decision .

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by  MrsZapatos.
Post # 11
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I can definitely relate to some of your issues, OP. I have a masters degree, and my field (fisheries biology) was crap when I got out of school. People have told me to go ahead and get my PhD, but I don’t plan on it because 1) I don’t want to stay in academia, and 2) I’d be overqualified for most jobs. Also, a bunch of my female friends worry about how to juggle having children while in academia.

I’d say go for it. If you and your hubby would be fine on one income and you both have very clear expectations for how long you would out of the workforce, then now is as good a time as any. In the meantime, see if you can leverage some of your academic experience with freelance writing, if that sounds interesting. I’m self-employed as a writer, and someone with academic experience would be extremely well suited to contacting school districts about grant writing/reporting, technical writing, and any marketing pieces for businesses related to your field of expertise.

Post # 12
42 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

im a fulltime working mom, if i had a chance to be off work and have another baby i definitely would. You’re in a great position to have one, with that said one is NEVER ready to have a baby neither is the timing ever PERFECT.

Talk with your SO and if you decide to get pregnant good luck!!

Post # 13
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s refreshing to hear someone else thinking about bailing after a PhD and putting family first. I’m in my first post doc, newlywed and trying to decide what to do. I’ve found my new, more (funding-likely) promising research area is not what I expected and I’m actually a bit bored. I’m considering starting TTC in a year, hoping I get more interested and good at my job in the meantime and doing both the job and a kid, but it’s also scary that I might tank my career. Unlike you, my previous experience and transferable skills don’t seem to get me jobs (I’ve tried a few times), so it’s scary! I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to mention you are not alone and lots of us are (sometimes secretly/quietly) having these issues.

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