(Closed) Sooo…my due date is two weeks after my sister's wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 62
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2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@MrsHoneyC  i love those pics! so cute!

Post # 63
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1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MrsHoneyC  Agree, that is so adorable about the “littlest bridesmaid!!!”  I don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl yet, but I will be a 7 months pregnant bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding this summer, and she has expressed nothing but utter excitement for me and my husband about our pregnancy!  She is excited for us and was not at all concerned about me being huge and pregnant for her wedding.  She could have picked a more flattering dress, but hey! She picked them before she knew I was pregnant so I will rock that bridesmaid dress all pregnant and not even think twice because it is her day and I am lucky that she is being so generous to me already being pregnant for her wedding.  But she is my true best friend and I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less from her! 🙂 

My wedding was far from perfect, but yet, it was completely perfect because it resulted in me marrying the man of my dreams.  I agree with a PP that a wedding is ONE DAY of the rest of your life and to get upset over tiny things such as a “fat” bridesmaid is pretty darn shallow. You should aim to have a beautiful marriage way more so than just a beautiful wedding.  I could have married my DH at a court house and been perfectly happy because that was the goal–to marry him.  Not to have a picture perfect wedding day. 

By The Way my sister was a little bit of a bigger girl to begin with, and I think she looked completely beautiful in all of my wedding photos.  Even if she weighed 800 pounds, I would still want her in my wedding and photos because she is my sister and best friend, not a stick figure to slap a bridesmaid dress on so my photos look like they came straight out of a wedding magazine.  I have seen some gorgeous and very touching photos like Mrs.Charpentier’s ones above with pregnant bridesmaids.  

OP–it really stinks that you aren’t able to make it to your sister’s wedding, but unfortunately, life is life and things like this happen.  Fortunately, life always goes on and I am sure things will turn out just wonderfully once all is said and done for the both of you.  Sounds like you have made some great plans and compromises and I’m glad everything worked out for you 🙂

I will be chuckling about this thread for a few days…hahaha.  😉 My #1 life lesson I keep telling myself over and over again is that some people will always suck! 

Post # 64
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This recently happened to my friend, where her sister let her know she was pregnant and due within a few weeks of the wedding. This may sound harsh, but she is her SISTER. Could she and her husband not have used a condom for months that would affect her attendance? I think it’s poor planning and sends a signal that getting pregnant whenever, and at any cost, was more important to her than being there for family. RUDE.

 

Post # 64
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3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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@ellebeerob  Hello,

I realize that I’m like 2 years late finding this post, but I thought I’d ask you how things ended up with this whole situation. My sister is doing in vitro and will be getting pregnant in the next week which is EXACTLY 9 months from my wedding next year. I have really mixed feelings, so I wanted some perspective from people that have been in this kind of situation, even if you were on the other end of the situation. Any advice would help!

Post # 65
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I should also mention that she is my only sister and supposed to be my matron of honor, so I just don’t know how to feel. Especially considering that she has control over when to choose to get pregnant. 

Post # 66
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2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@futuremrsangeles  Not to sound bitchy or insensitive – but you do realize that people go through ivf due to fertility complications, right? And that by doing ivf, you don’t necessarily become pregnant first try. Some women have to go through many rounds before they get a viable pregnancy. I’m sure that your wedding has been weighing on your sisters mind, however you have to consider the stress and emotional aspect of trying to conceive through ivf. It’s likely she and her husband have been down a long road to get to this point and have ivf as an option. 

With that being said, I am in the situation where we are trying to get pregnant, and my sister is getting married in 9 months. She knows we have been trying and has been nothing but encouraging and supportive as I am struggling hard with the guilt of potentially not being able to travel for her wedding. Your sister will still be able to support you, help you, and be the best moh you could want, even if she can’t be there on your big day. With technology, there are so many ways she can be present at your wedding without physically being there. I hope you can understand that she is probably aware of how you feel and struggling in her own way to hope this works out the best way it can for everyone.

Post # 67
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Not to sound bitchy or insensitive, but yes I am well aware of the reasons people choose to do IVF and the hard work that goes into it with hormones, etc. Despite your assumption, she is not doing it because of fertility complications and this will be her first try. I did not comment on this post because I wanted a lecture about IVF, I get it.

I also know that there is technology, etc. but I’d obviously rather have her physically at my wedding given that she is my only sister and I love her and want her by my side as I was for her. I don’t think she is aware of my feelings, and I would rather not stress her out with my concerns and instead try to deal with my feelings on my own as the situation plays out. All I am curious about is how this situation worked out for other people that have gone through it.

 

 

 

 

Post # 68
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172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@futuremrsangeles  I don’t think its realistic to expect somebody to revolve something that will shape their entire life over somebody elses one day. I know how stressful it probably is on you seeing as how I got pregnant while planning my own destination wedding but if you really look at the big picture it’s not really A huge deal. Let’s say she doesn’t get pregnant on the first try and ends up being pregnant and able to be at your wedding. Years from now you get to look at those pictures with your niece or nephew and tell them how they were “at your wedding”. I think that’s a pretty cool bonding experience.

Post # 69
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233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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@futuremrsangeles  

Are you having a destination wedding or would it be close enough that she could still possibly attend?

I haven’t got experience of this happening but it looks like I’m going to be in a not totally dissimilar situation, although a bit different. My FI’s sister who is supposed to be one of my bridesmaids. She told us a few months ago that she is pregnant and I was over the moon for her, BUT we are getting married in my home-country abroad. She is due 4-5 months before the wedding and it’s just a 2 hour flight so I had hoped she would still come but she has told her mum (but not us, in fact not mentioned it to me or Fiance at all) that she will definitely not be coming. I have travelled the same route with a 3 month old and a two year old so I know it’s really not bad, but I’m quite laid back about things like that whereas she’s a bit of a worrier. I just feel really bad for my fiance because he is really close to his sister and I know he is quite upset that she probably won’t be there. I’m more pissed that she’s not actually said it to us herself, I think it would just be polite for her to at least say, ‘listen, I don’t feel comfortable with the travel so I won’t be able to be there’.

I get about the technology as well, I don’t think it could even compare to being there in person. I think you’re doing the right thing in not telling her how you feel because, as you say, it’s not right to stress her about it. I think you just need to play it by ear and see what happens with it. She may be planning on still attending if she’s pregnant or have thought about it already but just not shared what she’s thinking with you.

Post # 70
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2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@JessicaBrooke926  I’m so glad you are well aware of what goes into ivf and how it works. Considering your statement about your sister going through ivf and getting pregnant this week, I wasn’t sure that you realized it might not be a viable pregnancy. I agree with everything 
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@JessicaBrooke926  says.

You also asked for personal perspective on this situation, even from the opposing side, so this is what I gave. I hope everything works out for you and your sister..but at this point my only advice would be to talk to her and let her know how you are feeling. I bet you would be surprised with the emotions she is dealing with, too.

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