(Closed) SOOOO embarrassed! I think my neighbors think my boyfriend is abusing me!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

That sucks. I would’ve been like, “Oh, sorry. We must’ve gotten too loud on the bed…my bad.” LOL.

Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Meh, it’ll be a really funny story in a few months, and be glad you live in the kind of place where neighbors are actually concerned about their neighbors’ well-being!  A lot of places (and we’re not talking just “inner city” here, this happens in the posh suburbs and sprawling countryside too), you could be screaming bloody murder and running like a madwoman with an attacker gaining on you, and people would just look the other way!

When my Darling Husband and I were first dating, the night before he first met my mom, he and I were watching a suspense movie at home, curled up on the sofa.  I don’t handle suspense well so I was really on edge, and I’m not sure why, but I had the remote in my hand. So of course when some scary bad guy jumped out of the shadows in the movie, I bashed myself IN THE EYE with the remote!  It was really awkward introducing my mom to my then-new-boyfriend with a huge black eye!  But we laugh about it now. A lot!

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ugh…that’s awful. Sometimes people, even self-appointed do-gooders like your neighbor, need to mind their own business. Seriously a loud washer is not that uncommon that it should automatically equal abuse!

I live in an apt and luckily this has never happened to me even when Darling Husband and I would be screaming bloody murder at each other in the middle of the night.

Post # 7
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Think of it in a different way – thank goodness your neighbors look out for each other! I’ve had to call the cops in for domestic disputes on several neighbors in my life and even when I’ve waited a while to be sure of what I was hearing, no one else had called 911 yet. So much better to have people being safe than sorry!

But so embarassing for you. I definitely can understand your total mortification!

Post # 8
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s good to have worried neighbors. I was unfortunately in an abusive relationship and my ex was threatening me and I was screaming for help and thankfully the apartment next to me heard and called the police. They even called the front desk to make sure I was okay, the front desk then called me to make sure, and let them know. 

Post # 9
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

When my sister was a baby she had big grey birhtmarks, we all had them, I hea it is common-ish among asian babies. And my mom is diabetic. At the time she used injections to get her insulin. My parents were renting some space in our house to another couple and they (logically) came to the conclusion that my mom was on drugs and abusing my sister. After awhile though, they get to know each other and we laugh about it now.

Post # 10
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ah, awkward! I’m sure you’ll be avoiding him in the parking lot now, eh? When Darling Husband tickles me/suprises me and I scream I often wonder if someone can hear it and they’ll call the police. I should work on that..

 

Post # 11
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When I was 17 and had my first serious boyfriend, he used to come visit me through my window. (It looked out on a fire escape staircase that went all the way to the ground, so it was easy. My parents didn’t even mind so long as I told them he was gonna come over.) He’d also leave through the window. So one day he went to leave and I lifted up the screen for him, he left, I waved goodbye, and dropped the screen.

I guess my face was little farther forward than I thought because it landed right onthe bridge of my nose, leaving a bruise with a tiny cut in the middle. Mind you, this boyfriend was the most harmless creature. I don’t think he could throw a punch if his life depended on it. I didn’t realize what it looked like, stayed in my room for awhile, then finally came out and my mom cornerned me with accusations. “Did he hit you? Are you lying? What do you mean you dropped the screen on your face? That sounds like an excuse…” I cracked up, but apparently I really worried her.

Post # 12
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@VAwife:  I disagree with how you labelled this. These same  kinds of “self appointed do gooders” called the police when my stepfather was abusing us. Ignoring abuse because it’s ‘not your business’ is cold, and pus people in danger.

 

OP: it’s awesome you have neighbours that care! So long as you know you aren’t being abused, nothing to worry about. If your neighbour was brave enough to breach the subject, it means you have neighbours that care. I honestly think you have nothing to be embarassed about -being the victim of abuse isn’t a shameful thing, so why should someone questioning whether you are when there is evidence that gives that impression be? Im not saying the evidence is right, but I personally would much rather someone mistake loud noises and be wrong, than ignore something that doesn’t seem right to them, so as to avoid embarrassment.

Post # 13
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At least you know someone is looking out for you.

Post # 14
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Aww, your neighbor kind of rocks!

I do a lot of theatre, and this one show required a black eye for my stage makeup. Unless we went out after the show, I would usually leave the makeup on until I got home and take it off there since it could be a pain in the ass to remove completely. I got a lot of shifty glances. No one ever said anything, though. I’d be glad your neighbor seems better than my old ones.

Post # 15
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

that’s the worst! at least the cops weren’t at your door! My sister and bro in law had issues with their neighbor and once they were yelling at each other because one of them was in the shower (not a fight or anything just yelling from different rooms) and the neighbors decided to be a-holes and call the cops and report a domestic dispute.  My sis answered the door and they demanded to speak with my BIL since they didn’t believe her! – they did when he came downstairs drenching wet and in a towel!

Post # 16
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Awkward, but sweet! I always worry about what people think when I squeal a bit too loudly when Darling Husband tickles me :). 

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