Post # 1
So we’ve called the church and kinda booked a date. The priest was on vacation and we were tole to call back as of the 23rd of Feb. Tomorrow! They took down our names and our wedding date and said it was now up to the priest. Appearantly we have to go through an interview.
What happens in the inerview? What’s asked? What shouldwe expect? Will we have to go through pre marital counselling? Is that even what its called?
Please give me some advice!
Post # 3
Oh, and I’ve had my communion, confirmation etc…attended sunday school until high school.
My fiance is baptised orthodox, the church know this.
From what I understand he doesnt have to be baptised but has to agree to baptise our children catholic.
Post # 4
This is all pretty much standard procedure. Try not to sweat it. You might have to take the FOCCUS questionnaire. But hopefully he’ll let you know before hand. (It just takes a little while.) He might go over the particulars of the wedding etc.
Since your Fi isn’t Catholic, the priest might recommend you skip the full nuptual mass. But for the most part, probably won’t be an issue.
Most nervous couples walk out of the interview relieved.
Post # 5
It’s a pretty standard interview. I think what they really want to know is have you ever been married before. 😉 Generally basic questions. As Tanya said, you may have to do a FOCCUS test (we did, a lot of parishes don’t) and you’ll definitely have to do pre-cana – the pre-marriage counseling. That’s not too bad either. We did it in 2 all-day Saturday sessions and some of it was very informative. Good luck!
Post # 6
Actually, if your Fiance is orthodox they church recognizes this as a valid “christian” baptism. It’s really not that scary… just mainly filling out paperwork and probably doing the FOCUS test….
Post # 7
Dont worry if they give you anything to do it isnt hard, it actually ends up being good for you. After taking the FOCCUS I learned a few things about my Hubby, that in 4 years I wouldnt have imagined (good things).
Just think of it this way.. The priest is going to marry you, he basically wants to get to know you during this process & its best for him to know a little about you and your fi, the better he knows you the more directed his HOMILY (spelling?) can be towards you!
Post # 8
Thanks for all your feedback. I am somewhat relieved. But… we called and got the answering machine, lol. We’re going to call back today. I was wondering can anyone ellaborate on what kind of questions are asked? What is the FOCUS test? The people Ive spoken to said to not say that we are sleeping together under any circumstances OR that we are living together, claiming the priest wont marry us. I guess it makes sense. But no one seems to care about lying to a priest?! lol. My fiance teases me constantly that I asked him too. Shame on me I know, but Im willing to do it.
Post # 9
We took the FOCCUS test and there is a section for couples who are living together – so it’s not something that is strictly forbidden by the church. In this day and age, I think the church realizes that people are going to be living/sleeping together – and it’s better to just tell the truth. The FOCCUS test was about 150 y/n statements that were pretty basic and straightforward such as “we have discussed how we will handle finances when married”, “we want children”, etc. It’s nothing earth shattering. 🙂
Post # 10
Just be honest … the questions arent life or death sort of questions. They are used to help you. There is over 100 questions so I cant really remember a lot of the questions but they are all pretty basic…
a few examples are like
(NOT WORDED EXACTLY LIKE THIS BUT SOMETHING ALONG THESE LINES)
– DO YOU FEAR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WILL HARM YOU
– MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND I AGREE ON HAVING CHILDREN
– MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND I AGREE ON HOW WE WOULD DISCIPLINE OUR CHILDREN..
ALL OF THE QUESTIONS ARE A LONG THOSE LINES.
You can also read this forum about the FOCUS although I called it the REFOCUS since when I took the test my husband and I were already married our test was slightly different
did anyone have to take the REFOCCUS
as for lying to the priest. I dont think its a good idea. I think if you sense that the church you go to is pretty modern and you feel comfertable with the priest there shouldnt be a problem. My husband and I are civily married living together no kids and we are now in the process of getting married at our catholic church. they didnt make us feel any different & they even let us know we can have a full blown wedding mass as you only have once in a lifetime to do it.
& another example is my brother (getting married at the same church) lives with his girlfriend and have a kid together and each have a kid from a different relationship and they also were well accepted.
I have read horror stories about some people being treated badly by some priest but I have a feeling those are the super strict much older communities and priest.
Post # 11
I live in Texas and just met with our priest a couple of weeks ago. He asked us basic questions like-
where and when were you born, our parent’s names, siblings names, when and where did you graduate high school and college, where do you work, how long have you and Fiance been together? That was pretty much it. We have to go to the marriage retreat (a weekend marriage counseling) and then we are supposed to make an appointment to meet with him again.
He didn’t ask us anything personal or that would make us feel uncomfortable.