(Closed) Soooo, we've agreed on a wedding date but I'm still waiting. LOL

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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MsLovelyTae :  I guess I don’t get it. If you’re picking a date, looking at venues and other such planning stuff then why can’t you get engaged now? 

Post # 3
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We did the same. We wanted a full year to plan, but because of a sudden move he hadn’t quite finished saving for the ring. We were “engaged” for about 2 months, but didn’t tell anyone until I officially had my ring. We started looking at photographers and venues during this time. Whatever works for you! Every relationship is different.

Post # 6
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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MsLovelyTae :  If he wanted to propose, he missed the boat, because you’re already engaged!  If you have a wedding date, that means you’ve agreed to marry, which is all an engagement is.  

Being engaged doesn’t require a proposal or a ring.  It only requires that 2 people agree to marry, which you have.

Post # 8
Member
2236 posts
Buzzing bee

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MsLovelyTae :  S.O. and I are in a similar situation. I really don’t understand the people on here who insist that you’re engaged just because you’ve agreed that you want to get engaged (in the future) and married (later in the future.) You can have discussions to make sure you are on the same page and even do some light planning without actually BEING engaged. 

We haven’t picked a date yet, but S.O. wants to get engaged around late Spring/early Summer next year and married September 2018. I don’t consider myself engaged yet, though, because those are all just words and tentative plans, and we only discussed them to be sure we are on the same page in terms of timelines.

I would never tell my guy, “Oh, well you were wonderful enough to share your timeline with me, so HAHAHA tricked you – we are actually officially engaged now! Bet you didn’t know openly communicating your intentions with me would mean we are now engaged!!”

Congrats on having discussed your respective timelines – looks like you have a lot to look forward to! If I were you, instead of trying to pressure him to meet me at MY preferred engagement timeframe, I would see if we couldn’t compromise and pick a date between the two.

Luckily, S.O.’s timeline is perfect for me, as it wil be our 1.5 year mark, and it will allow us 1.5 years to plan, so there was no need to try to compromise. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You probably shouldn’t have had the “when will we get married” conversation until you had the “Lets get married” conversation.  For all intensive purposes, you’re engaged.  If he wants to make a formal proposal, don’t give him dates that are “good.”  C’mon.  You’ve agreed on a date so start saving money and everything else will fall into place.  

Post # 12
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

We have a pretty good idea roughly of when we want to get married but we aren’t picking out venues or anything. I know what ring I’m getting, but I don’t consider myself engaged until it’s on my finger! And I won’t discuss any of those details until that even has happened. 

Post # 13
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

A word of caution: our wedding was going to be summer 2017. We started looking at venues in February 2016. Many of them were already booked solid in June. Unless the places you are considering are not in demand, look earlier than one year before.

Post # 14
Member
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If you’re already setting a wedding date I don’t see the point in him delaying the proposal! An engagement is basically a promise to get married, so since you’ve already done that why not make it official so the planning can go ahead? (I know, thats a question for him not you!) It’s like a weird pre-engaged limbo. Hopefully he takes your suggestions into account ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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MsLovelyTae :   Just talking about future plans and dates is easy but he still wants to wait another year to formally commit. Wonder if he’s not 100% sure about marriage and being step-dad. He clearly wants-needs more time. You said in another post he didn’t have much experience with children, that may be a factor too. Sorry bee.

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