(Closed) Sorority Life (Spinoff)

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 2
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I absolutely loved my sorority experience. So much so that I was president and worked for the national organization as a traveling consultant to collegiate chapters the year after I graduated.

Every sorority and every chapter are different. Each sorority has a national policy, and each chapter will have their own individual Code of Conduct. So policies can vary a ton even from sorority to sorority on the same campus. To answer your questions:

1) The members go out if they want to go out. Often there will be socials set up with a fraternity and members are highly encouraged to go so that the chapter has high attendance for the event. If their attendance isn’t so great, either they will have fewer functions or possibly say each member needs to attend X a month (which hopefully is a reasonable number). Depending on the sorority and chapter, requiring the members to go out to these social events may not be allowed. Suspension might occur if they are required to attend X amount of events and they do not. More often than not, this would happen to members who are often absent to all kinds of events – philanthropies, meetings, or other chapter functions (non-alcohol related).

2) Yes, fines are real. Some chapters use them minimally…others impose excessive fines in order to deter members from not attending events.

3) The chapter house I lived in during college had doubles, triples and 2 quads. I visited other chapter houses that have “sleeping porches” which is a room full of say, 8-10 bunk beds. I’ve heard girls love it, though of course there are cons as well.

4) Food varied chapter to chapter. I visited several chapters with AWESOME food, but then others…not so much. It just depends on the set-up and the cook they’ve hired. There were many foodies and clean eaters in my chapter, which often did not align with what was served day to day.

Overall, I cannot say enough positive things about my experience in the sorority. My leadership skills developed immensely, and I have had several professional opportunities from either women from my sorority or from other sororities. You really do get as much out of it as you put in….so often when you hear about girls withdrawing their membership, it is because they were not able to fully immerse themselves…whether that be by choice or personal scheduling. Every sorority I’ve worked with has members who work to pay their way through school or pay for the sorority themselves. It is tough work, but doable, especially if you are upfront and open about your scheduling.

Post # 3
1039 posts
Bumble bee

I think the issue is that the policies/standards/types of members/missions of every sorority is very different.

Everyone’s going to have a different experience based on what they expected, what they thought was expected of them commitment time and money)-wise going into it.

I was in a sorority in college and I had an amazing time. We had a good mix of social but also a lot of philathropy and I can easily say that 90% of my sisters got internships and jobs out of college by having an alumni connection at large sought after PR/Law/financial firms. I also pledged with a large group of women who were very diverse personalities on every end of the spectrum from the very down-to-earth to the drama queens so we were a good mix.

We went out A LOT. But it was sometimes parties or mixers..most of the time it was because we just wanted to go out. I was 18 and in an amazing city and it was like a free pass to get into bars and clubs without an ID. No one ever got fined for missing a party.

I never slept with 12 people in a room. We had to camp out the week before we crossed but it was in the living room of the sorority house. After I crossed, I moved into the house and I had a bedroom in a elevator penthouse suite that I shared with one other person overlooking one of the nicest parts of manhattan. We had 8 bedrooms 4 bathroms, a huge kitchen, dining are and living area and our private elevator entrance. I got this for the same price I would have paid for regular student dorms in a studio apt with another person in a less desirable part of the city.

Of course, you’re going to get more drama with all that estrogen around haha but we always resolved issues in a civil manner.

Food was great..sometimes very basic (hello mac and cheese haha), parties were a blast, I made lifelong friendships with both my sisters and the other greeks who lived in our building. Networking and job opportunities were great – it wasn’t something I thought of when I pledged but turns out, it was an amazing perk since a lot of firms who had hired their one of our own continue to give preferential treatment to those who are from the same sorority.

Post # 4
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I went to a small liberal arts college, so our greek life was pretty….unconventional, I guess you could say. My chapter had approx. 40 girls, and we were not allowed to live in our house due to a state law regarding a certain amount of girls living in one house (or it’d be a brothel, haha). The boys could live in their houses, which was unfair, but oh well. We didn’t have a house mother for that reason, so we didn’t get any “extras” that a bigger school would get, like separate food. We got free laundry and that was it. If you wanted to live with your sisters you either got a dorm together or rented an apartment/house.

We took our fines pretty seriously, but we were also understanding of everyone’s situations. You didn’t have to go to every event if it wasn’t mandatory, but you needed to go to a certain amount. If you couldn’t make a mandatory event, you usually had to make it up later. 

All this aside, I really love my sisters. I’m really glad I joined because they were the closest friends I had, even though I joined my senior year. If I could do it over I would’ve joined freshman year, but I have no regrets!

Post # 5
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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I really enjoyed being part of a sorority (Pi Beta Phi). That being said, every organization is different and even chapters of the same organization can be very different depending upon the chapter.

1) I never was forced to go out if I didn’t want to. That being said, there were a lot of mandatory events (not partying events, philanthropy events or organization-specific events) that were mandatory and often not exactly fun. Personally I was usually incredibly bored during chapter meetings. That being said, a sorority is improved by how active its members are, so I understand the necessity behind mandatory events.

2) The only fines I ever received were for oftentimes skipping mandatory events. I skipped chapter A LOT.

3) My sorority didn’t have rooms where 12 people would sleep together. Our house was very large and those who lived there either had private rooms or one roommate. I think there were a few triple rooms, but these rooms were very large (I mean HUGE) and those who stayed in the triple rooms specifically wanted to room with the two people who lived there with them. We of course also had lots of common areas as well. Living in the house was a priviledge…there were perks like gourmet catered meals (from a nice restaurant in the area), the beds were large (no twin beds), and the house itself was far nicer than any on-campus housing.

3) The food was awesome. We had a chef from a fancy restaurant cater our meals. It was definitely one of the biggest perks :). 

Post # 6
848 posts
Busy bee

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futuredoctorbee:  LOVED my sorority experience. We did have things that we had to attend, and if you couldn’t attend you better have a darn good reason. That being said- there wasn’t that much that was “mandatory”. And I never knew anyone that was fined because they didn’t show up- they may have just gotten “brought up on standards” is what is was called in our house, but it was never a big deal. We had about 100 girls in the chapter- I think our ceiling was 109- and everyone that was there wanted to be. I remember when I was studying for my LSAT end of junior year and senior year I was absent to some things- but I just explained why I wouldn’t be there and it was excused.

We had houses that were built on campus for us to live in- our house had a max number of 16 girls that could live there- it was a big deal to live in the house- there was always a waiting list. I lived in the house my sophomore year- we had seperate bedrooms- some rooms had 2 girls to a room and some had 3 girls to a room, but it was super fun. We had common rooms that were downstairs- so we would all eat dinner together and have movies in the big TV room.

Our food was to die for- even girls that didn’t live in the house would buy the house meal plan and come eat there- we had our own cook and she was amazing!

What are you girls? I am a Gamma Phi Beta.


Post # 7
1083 posts
Bumble bee

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futuredoctorbee:  I loved it at first. And theN I saw it for what it truly was; an excuse for people to get drunk, gossip and turn on each other. I deleted and blocked them all from my life and threw all their stuff away.

Post # 8
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I really enjoyed my sorority experience at my college (Phi Mu here). I went to a very small liberal arts college where 80% of the campus was greek – 4 sororities, 4 fraternities. We weren’t forced to go out, but we chose to go out because there was literally nothing else to do at my school lol! . We did have mandatory attendance at social events we threw (to raise funds for our charity). If you missed one of those events, yeah you got fined. No one ever really missed those though. You also had to keep a certain GPA (I think ours was 3.0) or you would lose your privileges, like voting during recruitment, attending formals and semi-formals, and other stuff.

The chapter house I lived sophomore year – graduation in had a rack room on the top floor, where everyone slept in bunk beds(I think about 40 of us lived in the house) except the middle row, which was single beds and reserved for seniors, and dorm rooms below to do everything else in. I actually really liked that arrangement. If you stayed up late, you didn’t have to worry about waking up your roomates (we had three to a room since there were no beds), and if you wanted to sleep in you could! This was great since I regularly stayed out until like 4 or 5 am lol. Not all the houses had this – we had one sorority that had beds in their rooms (their original house was destroyed in a tornado in the 70s – ours lost it’s roof, but was repaired).

Our food was so good. Omg I miss some of the things we had (hellooooo brunch for lunch bar). Plus we were always stocked on yogurt, cereals, and other snacks, our cooks knew what was up. I guess after my class graduated, they got super healthy and installed a salad bar.

I totally agree with PPs that everyone’s chapter and experiences will be different. My experience wasn’t all rosy, and tbh I’ve lost contact with most members of my sorority (my two best friends are from a different house), but I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. I would totally do it again.

Post # 10
436 posts
Helper bee

Everybody’s experience is different because each chapter of each sorority is different.

In mine, there were fines for typical things like not doing chores or missing meetings or service events. I don’t remember there being fines for social events though. Everything was based on a point system though, so the better of a student you were, more community service you did, more social events you attended… you got points for and your points secured your spot in line to pick you room. We were only two people to a room. The food was okay.

Living in the house was actually cheaper then living in the dorm because the house fees included our cooked meals.

My senior year I started pulling on the leash more, which caused problems. I got called into “relations” and talked to about my lack of interest. Girls said I was never around the house and I didn’t care about them. Quite frankly, I was busy. I was pulling 18+ credits, working, had an internship, and I was flying. I also had plenty of friends outside of my house. If I had 30 minutes to myself I was freaking out because I felt like I was forgetting to do something. I would come home for a quick lunch on a Wednesday at 2PM and girls would be waking up after missing class and talking about how they were still so drunk. It was really very disheartening. The girls I pledged with were quality girls. The 10+ of us had like a 3.8 GPA average… the highest of the greek community. My senior year the pledge class had the lowest. The quality of the girls just declined. I wanted out, but I stuck it out my last semester.

If I have a daughter, I won’t let her join one.

Edited to add! One thing I really hated was having to have my clothes and jewelry for events approved by our social chair. Just ugh. Like I need to see the entire necklace, so find a shirt with a better neckline… oh, but it has to be red and green and have this and only this unicorn on it.

Edited again to add! Out of my pledge class which I believe was 19, there were 10 of us left my senior year. The others left.


  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  UnderTheSun14.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  UnderTheSun14.
Post # 11
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Did you really have to go out that often?  If by “go out” you mean to parties, we were never required to do this.  We were only required to go to philanthropy and recruitment events, but even then the rules were pretty lax if you had work or class, as long as you weren’t taking advantage of the system.

Are the fines real? Yes.  There were fines for things like skipping chores, not putting in enough volunteer hours per semester, and paying dues late.

If you didn’t go somewhere could you be put on suspension?  If you missed too many philanthropy or recruitment events you could be.

What is sleeping in the same room as 12 people like? (Our school had the ‘dorm’ rooms then separate ‘awake’ rooms).  We didn’t have large “sleeper rooms.”  The most we had in one room at any time was three.

Was the food awesome?  As we were still on campus, we were required to have meal plans, so we didn’t cook except for special occasions.  That was pretty awesome.

Post # 12
257 posts
Helper bee

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futuredoctorbee:  Like everyone else says, it depends because every org and every chapter is different. <br />I’m still pretty involved with my org since I was active just last semester. You “go out” if you want to, none of the sisters are forced into doing anything. But of course you should show up to events and want to be there and we usually do since the events are made by us and voted on. We definitely have dues to pay, but I don’t pay a lot because I don’t live in a house. My org is smaller and we’re on a commuter school. I’ve had my ups and downs in the org, but I’m really proud of being in my org and I’m so happy that I decided to join a sorority.

Post # 13
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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whitepeacock:  “due to a state law regarding a certain amount of girls living in one house”

What state?  Cause allegedly my state/town/county also had that rule, and it turned out to be an urban legend.  Apparently no where in the US has this a law as it applies only to females, at least when I was researching it.  There are areas that don’t allow more than so many non-family members to live together, but college campuses are generally excluded.

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