- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
My dad has a genetic form of arthritis and has had difficulty getting around for years. When he sits down, it’s more like an uncontrolled free-fall. He just falls back into a seat. This is complicated by the fact that my dad weighs more than 350 pounds.
In the last year or two, when I’ve visited and he’s asked me to pull him up, it’s like he can’t use any of his own strength to pull himself up. This usually means I’ve got an arm that’s aching for a day or so afterward.
There’s a small hall along the side of our reception hall (which is also where we’re getting married). My dad wants to sit in a chair in this hall until the bridal march. Then he wants me to pull him up and walk down the aisle.
That’s a concern – and it’s also a concern that after walking me down the aisle, he’ll flop into a chair. Given his weight, I am concerned he might break it if he’s just going to drop back onto it. I’m worried about him missing the chair and embarrassing himself in front of everybody.
I don’t want to be walked down the aisle in the first place, but I’m trying to figure out how to broach this one. I’ve lightly mentioned to my mom that I don’t think my dad will be able to walk me down the aisle in the first place. She shrugs her shoulders and just says, “I don’t know.” The times I’ve said I DON’T want him walking me down the aisle, they both sit and tell me how hurt he’d be if he didn’t get to walk me down the aisle.
What’s my recourse here? They get upset when I just tell them that I don’t want to be walked down the aisle. I imagine they would be even more unhappy to hear the truth: I don’t want to strain my wrist, or anybody else’s, hauling him up for the bridal march. And I don’t want him to possibly take out others sitting near him, or any tables, when he sits down during the wedding.
At least if he just sits down immediately when he gets there, he wouldn’t have to worry about bothering others sitting near him or possibly taking a table out when he sits down. I know this sounds humorous, but seriously – he’ll grab onto tables and the like to help him out, and I wouldn’t put it past him to knock everything on the table down, if not to risk overturning the table itself in the process.
At least we can recover from that BEFORE a ceremony, but it would be quite a bang during the ceremony.