- 4 years ago
I am a regular member but wanted to go anonymous for this posting. I apologize if it’s long so bare with me. I want to make sure that I provide both sides equally so that I can get fair responses.
I recently found out that my now husband was having a month long conversation via email and skype with one of his “sort of exes”. I say “sort of an ex” because they had a sexual relationship and they really like each other but when it came time to make it official, some things happened.
Anyways, the conversation took place on a secret account that my now husband had that he used to communicate with her. The conversations took place 3 months before we got married however, I found out AFTER we said I DO and after I was pregnant with our child.
I am going to provide details as to what those messages said so you can give some feedback.
– They were reminiscing on their past sexual encounters.
– He was saying how there must be a reason why they keep in contact and although he know I would be mad if I found out, he didn’t stop.
– He said that he was “in-love” with her and how it sucks feelings are there and they can’t do anything about it.
– There was some joking about how funny it would be if she showed up to stop the wedding during the ceremony.
– He mentioned that when they met up as “friends” (right before we got into a relationship), when he saw her, he wanted to make love to her….not sex but make love, etc…
Basically, that is what most of their email were about. Keep in mind that he wrote those emails when I was sleep in bed NEXT to him, while he was in the car going to work, and while at work, etc.
Fast forward to when I found out. Here is where I am going to try to tell his side in fairness. He has had issues growing up as a child. He was hurt a lot by people. So, his only way he knew to get back was revenge. Now, he tells me that years ago when they were dating – not really in a relationship, she did some things to him that hurt him and he never “got her back” so to speak. Long story short when she visited him, she cheated on him with his female friend and a dude she met at the club. I have to say that he didn’t initiate contact with her, she initiated contact with him on facebook and then he gave her that email address so they could communicate. He said he saw that as an opportunity to get payback so he was telling her all of those things to make her want him and then he was going to “let her have it”. Like it was all a joke, nobody wants you etc.
The emails were a month long and then it stopped. He said it was because he skyped chatted with her and ended it and said that this was wrong, he loved his fiancé, he was about to get married, etc. Of course, there is no record of that because it was on skype messenger.
I’m going to end this message because it’s getting too long but I guess I just want to hear what you bees would think/do if you were in this situation? I am open to all feedback.