Post # 1
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
Kind of long…I apologize…Technically I’m not even engaged or anything yet but I couldn’t think of anywhere else this would belong.
My dad was just diagnosed with a brain tumor. We won’t know until Friday if it’s cancer or not. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been talking about getting engaged and having a baby within the next year or two anyway, but now I’m worried that people will think that the only reason we are doing this is because my dad is not well. Boyfriend or Best Friend has been like a member of the family for years before we even started dating so it’s not a situation where we just met and decided to get married in a matter of months or anything and this is something we have been actively discussing since we formally started dating. He’s been living with us for the past 2 weeks as well while we’ve been dealing with everything and I don’t know what I’d do without him.
2 years ago my best friend was diagnosed with kidney failure and seizures and I was the only person who was willing to take care of her. Her family was very poor and they don’t treat each other well at all, so I’m use to drama and caring for people with very extensive health problems. Luckily my friend made a miracle recovery and will be getting married in 2011.
The hardest part of all of this is that I am only 21 years old and now I am not only having to help care for dad but I am having to reduce my school schedule to look for a job in a city where there are really very few jobs I can do because I have health problems of my own. (I have a muscle condition). Boyfriend or Best Friend is even looking for a job in our area so that he can help support me, but I feel guilty because it means that I still have to rely on someone else to maintain me. I’m very scared because before all of this happened my parents were helping me pay my bills which I never asked them to do but I was very grateful for. I lost my job 2 years ago due to health reasons and I could no longer make credit card payments on my own. I did not use the card since I lost my job, but it still adds up. I had been looking for employment before all of this happened but now I’m really afraid that I’m going to ruin my credit and I am so terribly lost… I just don’t know what is going to happen now.
On top of that, everything seems to be getting on my nerves today. My thoughts are scattered and I just don’t know where else to talk about it. 🙁
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
((((HUGS)))) I’m so sorry to hear about your dad! I think it’s great how you and your Fiance are both so willing to step and help him and the rest of your family through this tough time. Make sure you are taking care of you too though!
I don’t think you should worry about what anyone will think regarding your reasons for getting married. If it’s what you guys want to do, that’s all that matters. People will always find reasons to think what they want if they’re that type; fortunately their opinions don’t have to affect our happiness or behavior!
Post # 4
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
Im so sorry you’re going through this and having other stuff to worry about Im sure is adding to the stress level.
Just be there for him however and whatever that can be day by day. That’s all you can do for now. As far as being engaged or not, that’s up to you both and no one will think its for any other reason than what you want….we moved up our wedding date from Sept to this past Sunday! yes, everyone knew it was to help my future mother in law be with us as she is very ill…but they understood and thanked us for it.
I wish I could give you more words of widsom, but I can send you my prayers and good vibes to you and your family.
Post # 5
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
First of all, hugs! You have a lot on your plate to deal with, so just know that there are people who are appreciating all you’re doing!
As for people assuming that you’d get married, etc., just because of the situation you are in – I’d say just ignore that! It’s hard to do things sometimes, but from this post, it sounds to me that marriage really is the next step for the two of you; what, with his support and both of your maturity levels at such a young age.
In the meantime, keep your head up and stay positive! Things will work out, it may just take some time =)
Post # 6
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
I am so sorry to hear and I hope all falls into place for you soon.
Post # 7
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
Thanks everyone. I think I’m just really letting too much get to me at once… it just seems like that’s how things happen. The unemployment thing was really hard for me to handle anyway and then this happened to my dad and it’s making it that much worse. I’m still trying to figure out what to do about my school schedule for next quarter too because if I can be working I’ll need to drop my full-time status…which comes with it’s own set of problems (no insurance, etc.) So it’s just one of those situations where everything seems to be getting so overwhelming and I don’t know how to fix it. I wish there were an easy fix to my financial situation, but at this point it’s not looking promising.