(Closed) SO's brother borrowing money for E-Ring and House?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Stranger516:  Wow! I don’t blame you for being upset! This would probably make me livid. I’m of the school of thought that if you can’t afford it then go without and save for a bit longer. I’d actually be so mad at Fiance if I found out he had to borrow money for my ring.

Post # 4
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

OMG I’d be fuming.  8 grand for a ring is not pocket change, that is far more than necessary especially for someone who needs to borrow it.  NOw a house?  Please help your SO see the light.  It’s money he should use for his future, he worked very hard for it.

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee

I  hope he paid him back!

If he is asking for money, you both should remind him that if you don’t have money for something then obviously you will just have to wait until you do! Just like eeeeeveryone else. That should hopefully stop the pleas for cash.

Sounds like he doesn’t know how to accept the fact he can’t afford something… Tell him when the price goes up on a house, then you move onto one you can afford- and that is being said knowing he’s asked for big bucks already before. His bad money managing should not become your problems!

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee

double post >_>

Post # 7
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t get how someone could be in the financial position to afford an $8,000 ring and a house but not be in the position to save it up ahead of time? I mean, that’s a pretty expensive ring! And if he can’t afford to save $8,000 for a ring, how can he afford all of the costs of homeownership? Buying a house is more than just scraping together a downpayment… there are closing costs, homeowner’s insurance, money set aside for repairs, taxes… I mean, Fiance and I are saving to buy a house right now, but we know that we’re going to need to save up a lot more than just the exact amount of the down payment before we’re ready to buy. 

I’d just be worried that if someone is financially irresponsible enough to borrow thousands of dollars like that instead of saving for it, they’d be financially irresponsible enough not to repay the loan. 

Post # 8
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you and your SO need to lay down the law.  You are not a bank.

Post # 9
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Family members borrowing money often has a very bad outcome.  If the brother has to borrow money for the down-payment, he shouldn’t be buying that house, end of story.

Post # 12
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

Oh I know the feeling of Future Brother-In-Law “borrowing” money for stupid crap and he doesn’t work bc his Girlfriend won’t let him  lol!! Pretty much a live in nanny if you ask me at almost 30….. It is not thousands but still we never see it again… and only contacting us for “favors”. While his Girlfriend is wearing new rings or whatever. It’s like “you need the $$ so bad but she is going out and buying sh**!”  While they have their 3 y/o at home too. Ughhh!! So annoying and petty. But just keep ur head up and tell SO no way is he lending out that hard earned money so they can get a house. I would be furious as well!!! I get mad over $100 lol!

Post # 13
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would NOT have been lending him money for an ering like that. If he can’t afford it, he can’t buy it IMO. BUT this is ultimately your FI’s battle if you’re worried about the brother only contacting your Fiance when he needs something

 

Post # 14
Member
2674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@Stranger516:  Has he paid your SO back for the ring yet? And there is a possibility that he doesn’t want money this time but wants someone to co-sign for him to vouch for him on the house.

Post # 15
Member
3691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Geez!  She’s not gonna die if she doesn’t get a ring at all, much less if not in time for a family event.  If you have to borrow from family members, you don’t need to be buying jewelry.

Post # 16
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@Stranger516:  

Your SO’s relationship with his brother isn’t really any of your business.  If it bothers him that his brother only contacts him when he wants something then that’s something they need to work out on their own.  As for the money, that is your business if you are married or sharing bank accounts.  If that’s the case then you need to sit down with him and tell him any major loans, purchases, or investments need to be agreed to by both of you first.  If that’s not the case, then you need to mind your business.

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