(Closed) SO’s Grades Kind of long!

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 3
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He did his best, and he passed, and that’s all that can be asked of him. He sounds like a great guy and we can’t win every semester. It sounds like he is doing all that he can, so he just needs to shrug off his mother’s comments. I know that’s about the hardest person to shrug off, but sometimes we have to.

Post # 4
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It sounds like with the new job, he needs to change his study habits. Quality over quantity – “Study smart, not hard”! I know how this is. When I was in undergrad, I had all the time in the world and would just study and cram EVERYTHING into my brain and do well. Well, now that I’m in pharmacy school, I really just DON’T have time to do that, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be studying SMART.

Tell him to talk to a study habits counselor (or something like that). It sounds like he is blanket studying; instead, make use of professor’s study guides, homework problems, and if they stress something in class. Not all material is going to be on the exams, and not all material is created equal. My medicinal chem prof taught a million different little concepts, then gave us a study guide that clearly spelled out EIGHT of them. ONLY those eight, with 3-4 small point value questions regarding other material were on the exams.

Also keep in mind (and tell your guy) that while grades ARE important, it’s not only WHAT you know, but WHO you know. Keep up this internship and continue to impress them there; that is just as important if not MORE important than getting really good grades. The best jobs are never advertised, they are offered to those in “the know”.

Good luck 🙂

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband is an engineer and I work with engineers and I hear it all the time, except for a few genius kids, the majority of the grades are usually C’s.  I know it’s discouraging but it isn’t unusual.

Post # 7
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Also, may or may not be his problem, but I did find that doing well on engineering exams requires more than what I had previously considered to be “studying” – so that might be part of it. Engineering requires applying a lot of concepts in new/different ways, so that material might seem straightforward in class or in the textbook but at exam time it is a struggle to figure out how to approach the problems. Office hours and working extra practice problems are KEY.

Post # 8
803 posts
Busy bee

Perhaps it might help him to study with others from his classes. You can’t help him with his classes because you’re not in the same field, but studying with peers in the same field can be beneficial. When you study together as a group, you’re able to bounce concepts off of each other. Having to explain the material to someone else forces you in a way to know the material. And if you get something wrong, or if you missed something, the information that other students have is really helpful (otherwise you might not know that you missed it!). Afterwards you have a better sense of the things you already know, and the things you need to keep working at. (This is what Fiance does … I was an English major so I just needed to write papers. For the classes I took that were science or math based, this was helpful though)

Also, keep on his back about his study habits. Make sure that he is going to the professors, seeking out help from tutors (peers or your dad) instead of getting complacent. I had to do this with Fiance sometimes (I think it’s a pride thing).

And reassure him with this: Mom’s don’t always know what they’re talking about. They went through a different time period. The things that worked for them are not the same things that work now. The notion that all it takes are good grades is an outdated notion. Grades don’t always matter. You learn this when you’ve graduated and are looking for jobs. Work experience is the most important factor. There are top college graduates with 3.8s everywhere. How many Asians do you think are out there that studied their butts off in college and didn’t do anything but study? But it won’t matter if you don’t have any work experience. Jobs are looking for people who can actually do stuff, not people who can crack open a textbook and memorize what it says. He has a great internship and that is what matters. And if they really like him, he may even have a job offer at the end of the internship. My brother’s grades were abysmal. He barely graduated. When he first went to college, you didn’t need a college degree to work. He went to school and worked at the same time. He even took a year off to work. Then when he graduated, the job market was down. Nobody could find a job (in computers). He left for the army for 3 years. When he came out, he got a job right away because he’d had that work experience. Now 6 years after, he’s Vice President (of something, lol I don’t speak computer) with a barely passed GPA (not that I’m advocating that he just barely pass). 



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