(Closed) SOS I’m running out of politeness

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would go right ahead and plan the wedding the way the two of you want it and limit her role as much as possible.  As for getting a guest list from her.  I would suggest either:

A – Tell her she may have so many guests.  Non-negotiable.  End of story.

B – Tell her she has one week to give you a guest list or you’ll assume there isn’t anyone she wants invited.

Clearly she’s using this as a way to manipulate and delay.  Take her power from her by taking charge and moving ahead.

Post # 4
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Divot: My Future Mother-In-Law is an alcoholic for the past 20 something odd years, she has no teeth, she does not eat solid food she weighs about 90 lbs and she manipulates all her children into giving her money. If they don’t she threatens to kill herself. If they do she is slowly killing herself. I am tired of pitying her. I feel you on the running out of politeness!

Post # 7
28 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

Divot, That is a terrible thing to be going through. 

Just be honest and tell her how you feel, respectfully and unemotionally. Give her a reasonable timeline to hand over her list. Calmly and kindly explain that you would feel terrible if her friends and family couldnt be there over something so avoidable. But, DO NOT accept them after the date you set. This sets the precedent for the future. She needs to know you’re not to be fooled around with. Otherwise, she’ll walk all over you.

Lastly, your Fiance needs to stand up to her ASAP. He is marrying you and is starting a family with you. You turn into his #1 priority once you’re married, not her. Ask him if it were HIS daughter who was being treated this way by her Future Mother-In-Law, if he would be so passive about it!

Good luck!


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