- 5 years ago
My SO is a great guy. He is an accountant with a good paying job. I’ve been in law school for the past 3 years and he has been very generous with his money. He’s been partially supporting me by buying most of the household food, and paying for all dates, ect. My only contribution is the occassional grocery bill, and my half of the rent. We live a very comfortable life, mainly due to him. I am extremely greatful for all the help he has given me over the last few years, and I hope to reciprocate when I’m gainfully employed fulltime.
My issue is that my SO has absolutey no ambition or follow through. He wants to get his CPA because it would increase his earning potential and would allow him more interesting job opportunities. I was totally on board, but I told him if he was happy with what he was doing now, I didn’t mind if he never got his CPA. At the time, I really meant it. I don’t care about the money. I appreciate that he earns a comfortable living now, and certainly wouldn’t mind if he made more money, but I just wanted him to be happy.
The problem is he hates his job. He hates, hates hates it. He is always bitching and moaning about how horrible it is. He dreads going to work in the morning, complains, and then come homes and complains. We’ve been together 3 years and he has made no serious effort to study for his CPA. I’ve been in school and there have been times (including now) where I can’t go out or do anything at all because I’m studying. I’ve asked him to study with me, and instead he plays video games or watches dumb tv.
I’ve tried to encourage him to apply to other jobs. I told him I would have no problem with him taking a pay cut (and mentioned that because I will be working full time we wouldn’t need any extra income.) He won’t do it. He says he can’t get ahead unless he takes the CPA, and never makes a real effort to study for it.
I’m going nuts. I don’t understand how he can be so unhappy, and not do anything to change his situation. I’m tired of hearing about how much he hates his job. I want to him to move forward. We’ve had arguements because I’ve tried to ‘make’ him study. (A bad call on my part.) I’ve tried to get him to apply to other jobs, anything.
I’m at my wits end. I don’t want to tell him he can’t complain abut his job anymore, but I’m just so tired of hearing about how much he hates it all the time. I just want to scream, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. However, that doesn’t help, and would just start an argument and make him feel bad. I don’t want to tell him I won’t listen to him complain, but its just really getting old.
I also feel bad because I am somewhat dependent on him for income. I feel like I can’t say anything because maybe I’m the reason he is staying in his job.
It just sucks. Any ideas for how to motivate him? Or what to do? Or just how to deal with this? I’m just resenting the constant complaints and the total lack of any attempt to remedy the situation on his part.