(Closed) SO’s mom won’t accept my FB friend request… awkward!!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrs. Harmony:

Why not keep the facebook part out of it, and have a talk with your SO about the concerns that the FB drama represents: you want to try to get closer to your Future Mother-In-Law and she doesn’t seem to want to in resturn and it makes you feel insecure.

Perhaps Fiance will let you know that his family isn’t that close and ease your fears. All the talk and none of the facebook!

Post # 5
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is he the only boy/baby boy? It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law is very attached to her son and feeling jealous. With you, Fiance is gaining a wife and child and starting his own family. maybe she’s just dealing with the “loss”. Don’t take it personaly. Talk to your Fiance about how you feel “unliked” and just want to feel like a part of the family. Ask your Fiance what his mother likes to do and try an include her in decitions. I;m sure its all about her own feelings and nothing about you.

Post # 6
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

@Mrs. Harmony: I’m sorry you are having such a hard time with this. Almost seems like they are “into” those kinds of people… I think you should have a serious conversation with your SO about his family. It seems to me like he’s not telling you something. My SO pretty much only sees his family with me. I think that in 2 years he’s only gone to see them alone 2-3 times. I’ve seen this with most of my friends as well. I’m sure many people see each other’s parents less often, but your situation is a little suspicious. Good luck.

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That IS awkward!  :S

Now in a way, I’m a tad jealous that you don’t have to have your man’s mom on your facebook because I do and sometimes it sucks, haha.  HOWEVER – I know that’s off topic. 😛

I agree with the PP about talking to your guy about how it makes you feel and leave the “facebook” aspect out of it as much as possible (I totally understand because Fiance is the same way about thinking I’m being lame if I talk about fb).  See if you can arrange a dinner with them soon….invite them over maybe to see your place (assuming you live together)?  I would definitely see what your SO can do to help fix this, because you shouldn’t have to do it alone.  Maybe his parents aren’t taking your relationship seriously because he’s casual in conversation with them about you.  Maybe he could make a point of telling them more about you and then bringing you over the next time he goes.

Post # 8
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I feel kinda down when my friend requests get ignored so you’re not alone. It is a form of rejection, granted, a very trivial and stupid one. The deeper issue is her seeming lack of wanting to get to know you. You mentioned your relationship with SO has only been 6 months. Maybe it takes her a very long time to warm up to someone who, to her, may be “taking her son away”. Stop stalking her on FB and give yourself a break. Then talk to SO about wanting to be more of a part of the family and take it from there. She can’t completely dislike you if you’ve received veggies! I’d never give someone I didn’t like food.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

His mom has always been nice to me.  She was interested in learning about me, etc

hold onto this and try not to let the FB hurt affect you – maybe she is a bit gun shy after her sons last relationship (you mentioned there was drama) so maybe she is trying to not be too emotionally invested right now as your relationship is still new

i know when my nephews wife rejected my FB request i was hurt but i recongnize that we are 2 very different people with likes/dislikes/friends so maybe she was doing the smart thing at the time. since then shes settled down and became a mom and she friend requested me and we are quite friendly – it took a little bit of time for us to get to that place

Post # 12
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

Brush it off like she obviously brushed you off.

Post # 13
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you maybe thinking too much of it.  My Future Mother-In-Law tried adding me on facebook, but IMO, certain relationships are best at arms length. =) We get along well, but I won’t even add my own mother on FB, let alone FI’s.

Heck, Fiance won’t add his own mother.

Don’t take it too personally.

FB is a SOCIAL NETWORKING site.  Unless you want to me socially intimate with your Future Mother-In-Law, I think she’s just keeping her circle the way she wants it.

Post # 14
Member
10567 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Maybe get your SO to check with her in a very laid back way.  It’s possible that she’s not ready to be FB friends, or maybe instead of adding you she accidently blocked you.  If she blocked you, she wouldn’t have even seen the 2nd request.

Post # 15
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Mhm, why not putting Facebook aside, and giving her a call instead?

Post # 16
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ok now that wedding bee has decided NOT to eat my post…..
…It might be that it has olny been 6 months, you have a child, and he had 2 abusive exs before you ( not that you are abusive, brain is mush right now) , and they are jsut holding you at arms length just to make sure that you are there to stay. I mean, my uncle dated this girl who had a baby, and my grandma became very attached to the little girl. Girl turned out to be a flake, left and Grandma was very sad because she could not see her “new grandbaby” anymore. Hell, I was sad because I became attached to the little one too. It might be a self protection thing untill you two become more cemented in their lives in time.

Don’t take it too hard and give it time. it will be ok

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