(Closed) SO's mother wants his ex's ring

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should SO's mum have his ex's ring?

    Yes. You will survive, suck it up.

    No. That's weird and you are uncomfortable with it.

    Other. Please elaborate?

  • Post # 3
    4304 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The engagement ring was never his Ex’s if he didn’t give it to her. Give the ring to his mom! I wouldn’t even have her pay!

    Post # 4
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I say let her keep it.  Consider it a good-will effort towards your potential future mother-in-law.  It’s just a ring, and if she really loves it it’s not worth the battle.

    Post # 5
    3422 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @theplife:  The ex never touched this ring. I don’t see anything wrong with his mom having it.  I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but I think you need to get over these feelings about the ex. She’s history! 

    Post # 6
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @Birdi:  +1. His ex was in his life before you came around. The ring never saw the light of day as far as his ex was concerned. I don’t see why you have such animousity towards it. Let his mom have it, it’s not your place to say what he does with something that was purchased before you came into the picture.

    Post # 7
    1845 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I echo the other bees… I can see why it would make you uncomfortable, but it never belonged to the EX, and she likely never even saw it. I’d say let the mom have it, she sounds like a lovely woman who deserves something pretty for herself for a change.

    Post # 8
    2684 posts
    Sugar bee

    The ring’s history is in the past.  By giving it to SO’s mom, the ring can be turned into something positive.  I say let your SO’s mom keep the ring.

    Post # 9
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Let her keep the ring. The Ex never owned it – it was never her ring! If anything, it’s a ring he bought for his mom, he just didn’t know it at the time. 

    Honestly, if you make an ordeal about it, his mom will probably think it odd of you at the very least. I would definitely think it really strange for someone to not let me have something I really liked just because an ex girlfriend never wore the ring.

    Post # 10
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It was never the ex’s ring. He never proposed, she never wore it. Very different than if the engagement had been called off and she gave it back. If you can afford to, gift it to your fmil, from both of you.  Maybe for Mother’s Day, wrap it up in a beautiful package.  I bet she would thrilled. When you see her wearing it you’ll think about how happy she was and it’ll have a good memory associated with it. 

    Post # 11
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    i’m a pretty jealous person especially when it comes to ex’s…but you’re being a little silly! 😉 let his mom have the ring! 

    Post # 12
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I say let his mom have the ring, and don’t ask her to pay! Turn something negative (a past relationship that you are jealous of) into something positive (a generous gesture to someone who will be in your life for a long time).

    Post # 13
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    It sounds like this is more about you than it is about this ring. I would give the ring to SO’s mom and use this as an opportunity to work on your jealousy issues with his ex. 

    Post # 14
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @theplife:  If she keeps the ring, soon it will become your mother in law’s ring, and you wont even think about where it came from. 🙂

    Post # 15
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Let it stew for a little while and see if you can change how you think about the ring.  I’m with you that it’s a little weird, but at this point… try to just see it as a ring.  He bought it for his ex, but he never gave it to her.  Giving it to his mom is a sweet gesture if she likes it.  It’s family over exes.  Try to see it as the relationship with his ex that never was is now a stronger bond with his family and with you.  If that doesn’t work after a few days – ask him to sell it and buy her something silimar for mother’s day.

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