(Closed) SO’s of the Bridal Party

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Fiance was just a groomsmen this weekend at a wedding where I didn’t know anyone…I didn’t stick around.  Their SOs can hang out at the hotel, and drop your bridal party off.  If you think it might be a problem, just explain it to them…I really doubt their SOs will WANT to hang around a salon or watch you guys take pictures

Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister)’s boyfriend came along while we did pictures, and held our bags and stuff.  Other than that, the SOs went ahead to the reception. They also got ready on their own, while my BMs got ready with me.

Post # 5
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve never heard of SO’s hanging around while people were getting ready.  As far as the pictures go, I don’t think you can “make” them go on to the reception without sounding rude.  However, I’ve never stuck around during pictures when SO was in the wedding.  As far as the cars go, as a bridesmaid I usually get a ride to wherever we are getting ready so I don’t have my car but SO does so he can drive to the wedding then drive me home.  

Post # 6
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve been both the bridesmaid and the SO, so I have experience with this. One of the weddings I was in was about an hour or so away from home so Fiance came with me when I went to get ready. There was really no other option since we only have one car and it was an hour away (he’s certainly not going to drop me off, go home and then come back). He ended up helping the groomsmen set stuff up. Was he happy about this? Not at all but it was that or just sit around and wait for the festivities to start.

As for being the SO in the situation, I just went to the cocktail hour with the rest of the guests when Fiance went off to take pictures. It really wasn’t a big deal. We were all staying at the hotel where they got married so I just hung out in our cabin during all of the pre-wedding stuff.

Is there a way for you to hook all of the husbands up and maybe arrange for them to go to lunch or something? I can’t imagine that any man would want to hang out at a beauty salon. 

Post # 8
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think the husbands would want to hang out with you while you get ready, would they? 

I’ve been the SO while my Fiance was in two weddings and I’ve always just gone ahead to the reception w/out him.  I think it would be weird to expect to hang out with the bridal party for pictures and I would have felt completely out of place.

Post # 9
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

My BMs are all coming in from out of town too.. I wanted us all to spend the night in one room the night before but I was promptly put in my place! LOL! 2 of my BMs are in serious relationships and 1 is married. On the day of… we will all be getting ready together.. pictures! and so their hubbys will prob still be asleep.. I am not worried about that. If hubbies want to check in.. thats fine.. the more the merrier. But when we are taking pictures.. I assume they will be enjoying cocktail hour 🙂

Post # 10
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What is the transporation situation?  If the bridesmaids are in charge of getting themselves from the salon to the dressing place to the ceremony to the reception then it’s likely their SOs are their rides, so they are probably going to hang around.  If they can be dropped off somewhere in the morning, and then don’t need their SOs until they need a ride home that night, then the SOs can take off and just show up for the wedding and later the reception.

Is there a way (limo, family carpool) that you can provide transportation between the morning activities, ceremony, and reception for the bridal party?

Post # 11
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In my many experinces with weddings, the SOs of the bridal party have never been involved in the wedding party stuff like getting ready and photos.

Post # 12
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My FH was best man at his brother’s wedding a couple of years ago, and I ended up being the unoficial runner for the wedding – getting the flower girls, grabbing hairspray, bobby pins, etc. I also hung out at the reception for an hour while they took photos. I later learned that they had meant to invite me back to hang out with them (they were doing shots and hanging out in between photos), but it was no big deal. Except that I was hanging out with another relative’s gf who kept talking incessantly about how she wasn’t wearing underwear, but that’s another story.

Looking ahead, I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man 2 weddings coming up in November, and my friends and I are already corrdinating what our men will be doing during prep and photo time (read: finding them a local bar in walking distance to the wedding).

Post # 13
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My FH was a Groomsmen for 2 of his friends last year and I was not around for any picture taking or anything the day of the wedding.  I hung out in our hotel room/got my hair done/drove myself to the ceremony.  I don’t think your BM’s SOs will want to hang around really.

Post # 14
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you will be fine if you suggest that you just want your girls there. Guys won’t really care to be there anyways I would think.And if they had to stay for one reason or another, they could just go somewhere else (ex: lobby, living room, outside, hotel bar, etc.)

My problem in this situation (as the SO) was that I did not have a car (coming from a city with public transportation) and the groomsmen were driving themselves to the venue. So, I had to hang around. I just stayed out of the way.

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