- 6 years ago
Hey bees. It has been a while since I’ve turned to this anonymous account, but I felt the need to share.
Brief background (if you don’t want to look through my previous posts):I found out a little more than a couple months ago that my boyfriend had/has an addiction to opiates (including heroin, unfortunately). We are doing okay. We’re taking things slow, and he is thriving in his rehabilitation program. He just ‘graduated’ from his partial hospitalization program, and is about to start intensive outpatient. He’s been clean for over 2 months now, and although he has admitted to some mild cravings he has had absolutely no desire to use. None. I’m so happy for him. He says he feels so liberated and lucky, and he’s finding other things to do with his life that he is enjoying. Kayaking, hiking, etc. If he keeps this up, I think we’ll be okay.
However, I won’t say things are perfectly easy. We’re still working on trust, and there have been ups and downs. All things considered, though, we are doing well. I had a moment recently, though, that really upset me. I suppose it is a good thing that it didn’t have to do with my SO directly.
I went to go see Magic Mike. I thought it’d be fun. The trailers all seemed pretty light-hearted and about aspiring to do more in life than stripping, but now I feel so stupid. Duh, it’s a movie about strippers. It’s going to involve drugs! It’s obviously one of the best ways to create drama. I could have been okay with that, but I certainly was not prepared to see someone passed out on the floor, not waking up. I have found my SO like that (albeit on a couch, not the floor). It just… got to me. I started sobbing in the middle of the movie. I guess that wound is still raw. I hadn’t thought that drugs would be as big of a focus. Needless to say, once things took a turn towards drugs the movie was kind of ruined for me. I kind of was unintentionally putting my SO on the screen. It hurt. Luckily my closest friends already know and are supportive, so I wasn’t revealing anything to people I didn’t feel comfortable with…. but damn.
Okay, I feel a little better now. Thanks for reading.