(Closed) Soul Mates

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

I think you’re overreacting just a little.  This is something you do need to talk about – because those are two different views on life and love that should be talked about before you get married. But I doubt that simply because he does not belive in soulmates that you are one iota less special and unique to him! . 

Post # 4
Member
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would be hurt too. But I understand his point too. No, I don’t think that there are any 2 people who are just a like. But I do that people can be VERY similar. I had a friend and we were EXACTLY a like, except in tiny areas. So I understand his thoughts on it (even if i agree or not) but I would have been hurt too.

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I understand that you are upset but at the same time i don’t think you should drag it out!

Lot’s of people don’t believe in soul mates and what he said makes a lot of sense to me as I feel the same way!

I think you are reading into what he said a little too much; however, I like verbal affirmation as well and so I would ask him what made him choose you over keeping looking for someone else to marry and I sure he will give you the answer that you are looking for to make you feel better! 

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would probably be upset as well…but then I would ask him what he meant by “just like me”. Could it be that he meant the same likes/dislikes, etc and not the essence of you?

I ask b/c while I believe in soul mates and think that my Fiance is mine, I also believe that I could be happy with someone else too. Maybe not AS happy…but I wouldn’t miss what I never had.

Is it possible that this is what he meant? In any case, if you think it’s going to be an issue for you…then ask him about it and get to the bottom of it.

Post # 7
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I get why you’re upset but at the same time I get what he’s saying. If he never actually knew you, well, it makes sense he might actually find someone just like you and be just as happy. It’s one of those big questions in life–if XYZ didn’t happen, what would your life be like? You simply never know!

And, i think more women tend to believe in the “soulmate” concept than men. It’s a romantic, swoony type of notion, right?

He could easily mean that he’d date girls just like you…that he loves your personality and is drawn to you because of that, so he could see himself with “you” in another parallel of life.

Just because we’d like to hear something said one way doesn’t mean he necessarily meant it negatively. Maybe the words were just a poor choice and you’re reading into them wrong (which I personally think is the case. I know sometimes i say things that sound really mean but Darling Husband is liek “what?” and i’ll explain and he’ll say “man that came out wrong!” it happens), so if it truly bothers you, ask him about it. Communication is key in a relationship. Don’t let it fester

Post # 8
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would be hurt too, but I honestly don’t think he meant to say it in such a lacksadaisical way to intend to hurt you.  Remember, females and males do think and process things in different ways.  It goes back to that ‘what he said, what she heard’ argument.  Maybe he meant that there is probably someone out there just like you (but you’re the one he wants to spend his life with).  If it really bothers you, I would just casually and playfully one day ask him what it is about you that he can’t live without and you tell him yours as well.  

Post # 10
Member
7494 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just for example’s sake- if, heaven forbid- your Fi died, do you think that you could never find love again?  I really think that there are multiple people that we could really be happy with- not in the exact same way of course.  But there are lot of widowers, 2nd marriages etc. that are truly happy.

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