Post # 1
I’ve been living with my boyfriend well over three years now. I love him, we are perfectly stable in our careers, and have lots of fun together. He’s my best friend. Interestingly enough, when we first started living together my parents didn’t have much to say about it. I was 23 at the time; I’m 27 now. Lately, they seem to think three years is too long to be “playing house”. Last year, when my parents started lightly joking about this I didn’t think anything of it, but now I find myself lost in thought. Could they be right? My boyfriend just bought a new place and we’re trying to get it all fixed up before we move in. When I told my parents about the move, they mentioned it may be smart to just find my own place at this point. I know they love my boyfriend but they’re just looking out for me. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you relay the concerns to your boyfriend? How?
Post # 3
@LadyS: Have you and your boyfriend talked abotu marriage? Is marriage something you are wanting in your relationship? Personally for me, I do not want to be a “live in girlfriend” for more than a few months, so my SO and I have had many discussions about the fact that I am moving in with him (been together for 5 years) this summer. He knows what my expectations are. If you are wanting more commitment from him, I would bring up the possibility of you finding a place to live until he’s ready to make that commitment (and gague what he says after that) or if marriage is not something you are looking for in your relationship, then I would not worry about it. Of course our parents are looking out for us, but if you are happy with how things are, and don’t want marriage, then I would respectfully tell them that you have found happiness and this works for you and your SO. If you do want marriage, I would discuss this with him, gauge whether or not he sees moving to this new place as the “next step” before engagement. If he doesn’t, then you will know your next move.
Post # 4
I think first of all it’s your and your Fi choice to make if you ready to get married. Don’t let anyone not even your parents make timelines for your relationship. Getting married is personal choice that should be made between you two. I say if you happy with things ask your parents to lay off and keep the marraige talk to themselves.
Unless you are unhappy. Did he consult you about buying a place? Are you ready to get engaged and married? Have you guys talked about it?
Post # 5
If it isn’t a problem for you then it shouldn’t matter. Personally I have a timeline so i would have an issue with it; but if you guys are both happy then who cares!?