Sounds like he will miss deadline bc of ring design delays

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

Have him propose without a ring? Otherwise, yes, if your special princess moment hinges on him having a ring in hand, you are being a brat. 

 

Post # 3
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You are absolutely being a brat. And I wouldn’t ever take your friends advice. 

If he had not done any work or shown any effort, that is one thing. But he is actively making an effort here and you wanted a specific prong. This is a ring that you’ll have for a while, it shouldn’t be rushed just to meet an arbitrary deadline. 

You know he’s going to propose, let it go. Live your life. Let him surprise you and take the time needed to get the perfect ring made. It’ll happen. 

Post # 4
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

Deadlines are ridiculous anyway. If you know it is coming, then do as PP said, or just go ahead and move in. 

The only other alternative I see is either signing another year, or seeing if you can go month to month. I know it is different for different areas. 

Post # 5
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Sorry, but I don’t get why you’re so butthurt about it. You know he’s in the process of having the ring made. But you’re just moping around like it’s the end of the world.

Post # 6
Member
3020 posts
Sugar bee

The above poster has a great idea, tell him he can propose without a ring you can be official and just wait for the ring to be done. We had to wait about 3 weeks for my ring and we had already had the stone picked out. 

What’s the element that you needed? That will tell us if it takes longer to make or not? 

Post # 7
Member
7819 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do you trust him? Do you feel comfortable ending your lease prior to your official proposal? I do like the idea of his proposing without the ring or even a stand-in ring if that makes you feel better. You should talk to him, and be understanding. 

Post # 8
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This seems like an awful amount of control from you. You are very specific about the ring and the date? It sounds like he is working very hard to please you and to get it right. Who cares if it doesn’t happen exactly the way you want? It’s ok to let it go. You might find that it makes things more fun!!

Post # 9
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

So if you’re engaged later in the summer the entire world will explode? He’s clearly getting the ring made. I wouldn’t fret so much, and also you do sound bratty and entitled. I took my FI at his word when he said he wanted to marry me, even with no ring in hand, and ‘lo and behold, about three months later we were ring shopping. I knew very early on he was a sure thing. 

Edit: I would also check with your landlord if you can go month-to-month, as PP have suggested. 

Post # 10
Member
9843 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Wow these comments are harsh. You do have a deadline, renewing your lease or giving notice so I can see where you’re coming from. He knew this, as well, so I wouldn’t be too pleased. And now he’s making jokes.

has he addressed your lease situation? 

The positive thing is he’s making room for you and moving ahead, but he needs to acknowledge that he gave you a date and your lease is at issue, and things are going to take longer. 

That is, unless he’s planning something you don’t know about. 

Post # 11
Member
9485 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You’re missing the forest for the trees here…

Post # 12
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Your actual last day is August 28, not June 28. June 28 is a random date you picked because I dunno why. And it is NOT  like you were signing away your apartment without a commitment. He has already ordered your ring. You aren’t going to get engaged before the day you actually need to leave your apartment. 

You are getting everything you want, just not in the exact day you planned.  

You must learn how to be more flexible and how to compromise.

For your own sake, and your partner’s too, try to exercise some gratitude, patience, and appreciation. 🙂

 

Post # 13
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I was in a similar situation with an engagement timeline that was well coordinated with not giving up my apartment and resigning my lease until we were engaged. I was also very hung up on the dates, which looking back was pretty rediclous since when you are talking about the rest of your life, what difference does a few weeks or months really make. My anxiety was mostly because I could sense my (now ex) boyfriend was dragging his feet and stalling because of his ambivalence, but from what you wrote it doesnt seem like thats the case with your guy. I’d either take a leap of faith and give up your place, knowing the engagement is imminent or talk to your landlord about your options. I just don’t think ther will be any positive outcome from making such a big deal about the date when he is showing you that he is commited to your future together and the engagement seems to be coming very soon. 

Post # 14
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Or, you know, you could just propse to him  on June 28th and actually DO SOMETHING instead of just dictating  to him what you want since you’re the one so hung up on being engaged by a specific date.  Talk about missing the forest for the trees.

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