(Closed) Souther Ladies: Is your relationship influenced by your southern expectations?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My parents were raised in SC and I grew up in the northern part of WV. He grew up in MO/AR I hold the same values/expectations. Mr. T opens all doors for me (even my car door), drives everywhere when we are together, initiated the proposal/marriage talk, carries all the bags for me, takes my jacket off and helps me put it on, walks on the side of the street, ect. It’s nice.

Post # 17
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Short answer: Yes. And I’m a southerner marrying yankee (OR). It’s been a struggle sometimes.

Post # 19
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Yea, I get what you’re saying. My Fiance believes the same things though, so it hasn’t been a problem for us. Yes, he opens doors less than he used to… but he still makes it a point to do so for the most part. Same thing about proposing. We talked about it a lot, and even had a time frame. But he tricked me completely because he wanted to be in control, and I was fine with that!

As for the honeymoon, I thought it was general knowledge that you leave them alone for that week to spend time together. I’ve lived in both the North and South and everyone was on the same page with this. So, I’m not sure what you’re talking about, sorry. 🙂

Post # 20
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m from Georgia (so is FI) and we do hold a lot of these things (the doors, carrying stuff, initiating that first convo — though I initiated others after) BUT our wedding itself? Very much not the traditional wedding things going on. That’s just us. So, I guess you could say at our core we are very “Southern” but it’s not completely representative of our relationship. Interesting question. 🙂

Post # 21
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

neither my husband nor I are southern and that is what we have.  I never thought about it – it just happened.

Post # 22
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My hypothesis: these differences are both regional and political/cultural.  More conservative families in the North and West are more likely to imbue their children with these values, while (correct me if I’m wrong) they’re more likely to cross party lines in the South.

As for me, although I grew up in TX, my parents are northern, and I definitely don’t identify with the things listed above.  I think whoever’s going through the door first should hold it for the person following them; it’s simple politeness.  And a lot of the things that other women think of as romantic strike me as exactly the opposite.  (Ordering for me? Asking my father for permission to marry me?  No thank you.)  What’s romantic to me is being treated as a beloved partner in life, who can speak for herself.

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