(Closed) Spa morning before Bridal shower and hens, costs involved in invitation

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Costs associated don’t seem that bad.  For the majority of guests it seems like just whatever drinks they want to buy while they’re out, which is very standard.

I wouldn’t do any formal invite for the spa morning, and maybe just call the people the bride wants to join at the spa, and say you guys are going for a morning of pampering before the shower and will cost X if they want to join.

Post # 4
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@SapphireSun:  I like this. I would not be offended or think this was strange at all.

Post # 5
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@kitti:  If I understand properly, the spa session is a separate event with a very short guest list. You should contact these people informally, by telephone or text or email or in person, and say something along the lines of “I am taking the bride out to a spa for the morning on thus-and-so day. I know she’d like it if there were a bunch of us there. Are you interested in going? It would be about a hundred dollars.” This isn’t an invitation: it’s a conversation between friends about sharing in doing something nice (but expensive) for your mutual friend the bride.

If the high tea, since there are no costs involved, you can send ordinary invitations that don’t mention costs, as is polite. For the dinner, you write on the invitation what IS provided: “Dinner with tea or coffee and soft drinks”. People who want alcohol should be able to read between the lines and figure out that they’ll need to pay if they want something that’s not provided, but you should coach the wait staff to ask discretely “will that be cash or credit?” of anyone who orders alcohol, so that they know for sure that it’s on their own separate tab, and if you know that some of your friends are dense that way, then spread by word of mouth that they will have to pay for their own drinks.

Post # 6
5 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

Im planning on organising a pamper party through Hens Heaven for my best friends hens night in August. Guest can pick and choose which pamper packages they like so everyone is happy with the budget and the pamper selections. Perhaps this could suit your plans. Here is the company I am using http://www.hensheaven.com.au/ . The other thing you could do is have the high tea for lunch, the pampering in the afternoon and then head out for dinner.. That way the party runs from 12pm rather then starting in the morning. You could also give guests the option of attending one component rather then all and this will help with people’s budgets. Goodluck!

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