Post # 1
One of my best friends since the 9th grade got engaged over New Years! She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I am so excited for her!
She set her wedding date for June 28th, 2014.
I am still a waiting bee but SO and I have talked seriously about getting married for a while now. We really want to honeymoon in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, and the month of July is known for having much less rain than the surrounding months of “rainy season”. We think itd be the perfect time to go & kind of even liked the sound of July 19th.
If we wait for rainy season to pass the date wouldn’t be until November (which is a cold & kind of dreary weather month where I am from).
Is there an etiquette for the appropriate amount of time to space weddings? I would love to have her as a bridesmaid in my wedding as well, but don’t want to make the date issue too awkward.
for the record I do not see her as a “bridezilla” type…
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2012 - Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon Lodge
I think that more than a month seems appropriate. It might help if you mentioned your dilemma to her personally to see how she feels – or at least that you are aware that your decision could hurt her feelings.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
As long as the two events aren’t the same weekend, then there shouldn’t be a problem. However, some brides are nuts and think that a wedding anytime within months of theirs is stealing the spotlight… which is bogus, but may be a reality you ahve to deal with. If you and SO get engaged soon adn start planning, I’d at least talk to your friend about the plans you want to make but I’d do it in an I’m-informing-you-politely way, not an I’m-asking-for-permission way.
Post # 5
A good friend if mine got married the Friday after our Saturday wedding (our wedding was booked a few months before hers, if it matters). The five or six people that were attending both were annoyed that they had to do consecutive weekends and travel two hours for mine and five hours for hers, but it was also wedding season so I guess it’s an inherent risk. Honestly, I think your spacing is totally fine!
Post # 6
I think the spacing is fine. The only thing is I think don’t get your hopes get up for her being a bridesmaid in your wedding. I had a destination wedding this year and I’m not going because I need my time off for work, and I won’t spend that amount of money right before my wedding.You always take a chance with people not being able to come with a destination wedding and that may be hurtful or annoying esp if you are her moh. Perhaps if you ask her far enough in advance she might be able to swing it. Good luck!
Post # 7
It’s less of a big deal between friends than it is family. Yes, you only get one day/weekend for your wedding but that doesn’t mean that close spacing won’t affect guests’ ability to travel to both. However you and your friend would likely only share a group of friends as guests, so maybe 20% of each of your guest lists is affected.
What I would do is first consider how many shared guests you would have and if you think they would have a problem with two close weddings. If you think it isn’t feasible, then don’t bother talking to your friend if you can’t pick that date. If it is feasible then talk to her and discuss how it shouldn’t be a problem for guests so that each of you can still have those important guests present.
Post # 8
@TwoCityBride: I have thought about that. I think she will be able to go to the wedding for sure if it is 3-4 weeks after hers. it is possible that she could decline being a bridesmaid because the cost is intimidating when she has her own wedding to plan & help pay for. Or she could decline because of the stress of planning other wedding related activities in close proximity to hers. I would be bummed but understand… I dont think I would postpone the wedding 4 months to accommodate her though. I know I have her support regardless of her role in the wedding. If nobody else thinks I’m stepping on her toes I’m likely to stick with my preferred month! SO is 8 years older than I am & would like to start a family not long after we are married, so having our dream vacation as a honeymoon is actually pretty important to us. it’s just one of those things that becomes more complicate after kids.
@Pinkmoon: We share some friends, and all are local except for one who recently moved to California. this would likely present a problem for her because she will have to travel by plane to get to either wedding. There is also a chance she might not be able to attend either wedding. this friend is certainly closer to me than my newly engaged friend simply because we kept in closer contact after high school. I am not sure if she would even be on the guest list for my friends wedding because Im not sure how small & intimate her ideal wedding is. So this could be an issue or a non issue, but only arises with one guest.
Post # 9
Anything so long as it’s not the same day, and preferably so there is time for the first one’s honeymoon, though that’s not essential. I’ve known close friends to marry a week apart, it’s not a problem.