(Closed) Spacing weddings of 2 close friends? Date dilemma

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Bee
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon Lodge

I think that more than a month seems appropriate. It might help if you mentioned your dilemma to her personally to see how she feels – or at least that you are aware that your decision could hurt her feelings.

Post # 4
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

As long as the two events aren’t the same weekend, then there shouldn’t be a problem. However, some brides are nuts and think that a wedding anytime within months of theirs is stealing the spotlight… which is bogus, but may be a reality you ahve to deal with. If you and SO get engaged soon adn start planning, I’d at least talk to your friend about the plans you want to make but I’d do it in an I’m-informing-you-politely way, not an I’m-asking-for-permission way.

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

A good friend if mine got married the Friday after our Saturday wedding (our wedding was booked a few months before hers, if it matters). The five or six people that were attending both were annoyed that they had to do consecutive weekends and travel two hours for mine and five hours for hers, but it was also wedding season so I guess it’s an inherent risk. Honestly, I think your spacing is totally fine!

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the spacing is fine. The only thing is I think don’t get your hopes get up for her being a bridesmaid in your wedding. I had a destination wedding this year and I’m not going because I need my time off for work, and I won’t spend that amount of money right before my wedding.You always take a chance with people not being able to come with a destination wedding and that may be hurtful or annoying esp if you are her moh. Perhaps if you ask her far enough in advance she might be able to swing it. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s less of a big deal between friends than it is family. Yes, you only get one day/weekend for your wedding but that doesn’t mean that close spacing won’t affect guests’ ability to travel to both. However you and your friend would likely only share a group of friends as guests, so maybe 20% of each of your guest lists is affected. 

What I would do is first consider how many shared guests you would have and if you think they would have a problem with two close weddings. If you think it isn’t feasible, then don’t bother talking to your friend if you can’t pick that date. If it is feasible then talk to her and discuss how it shouldn’t be a problem for guests so that each of you can still have those important guests present. 

Post # 9
Member
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Anything so long as it’s not the same day, and preferably so there is time for the first one’s honeymoon, though that’s not essential. I’ve known close friends to marry a week apart, it’s not a problem.

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