(Closed) Spanish culture and engagement

posted 7 years ago in Latino
Post # 4
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, I don’t think so. I think that’s a matter of personal preference, but not a cultural thing. I’m hispanic and I’m having a year-long engagement to plan everything with time and to keep my sanity ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, mostly everyone I know who is also hispanic have roughly the same length engagement–1 to 2 years. Obviously there are exceptions with different people but from my experience it’s not a cultural thing to look down upon long engagements. 

Post # 5
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hey!

Well I will start by throwing out there that the word latino/spanish is very broad! Each country has their own tradtions involving marriage and the place it holds in society ๐Ÿ™‚

 i think In general spanish countries, being typically “religious”- value marriage and make it an important part of society!

I don’t think there is any stigma involved with long engagements. I’m not that familiar with Dominican culture so I couldn’t tell you for sure.

I will say that weddings are huge parties and very family oriented- so it wouldn’t surprise me if it took some time to coordinate. But I will also say that once a man is engaged, he wouldn’t  wait 6 years or anything outrageously long. In Argentina, there is no engagement ring but at the time of proposal you both get wedding rings and wear them on your right hand. Then at your ceremony you switch them to the other hand. Engagement is very serious, It means marriage- not just a next fun step in life ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m sure you will be engaged soon and it will be a wonderful thing! The blending of cultures is a sweet blessing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hmm this is an interesing thing to think about. I’m puertorrican and we have a very similar culture to dominicans.

I agree with th PP that it’s about personal preference but in my opinion long engagements aren’t too common in the hispanic culture. I’m thinking about my friends and family that have gotten engaged and I think we generally assume that when she gets the ring they’ll start planning the wedding. Maybe 1 – 1/2 years at most.

I do think it’s more common to think about long engagements when they get engaged right out of college and are still getting established. I think when people are over 25 it is more common to have the wedding sooner rather than later.

I’ve also seen that when two mature people start having a more serious relationship, people start asking “so, when’s the wedding? did you get a ring yet?”. The assumption is that if you’re established and have a job you are probably getting married soon (rather than live together for a few years, etc.) 

That said, my brother got engaged at 26 after 5 years in the relationship and was engaged for two more years. I think the general consensus among all the family was “OMG IT WAS ABOUT TIME!” 

I wouldn’t know what’s going on in his mind and why he hasn’t proposed yet. Maybe he’s saving up to get a really nice ring? Is he between jobs or just starting out a new job? Latino men are sometimes proud about how they’ll be able to provide for their family or being sure of themselves that they are in a good place to start a family.

You can ask him something like “so how long do you think is a suitable engagement period?” ( actually my Fiance asked me this aaround 5 months after we started dating haha) or “where do you see our relationship a year or two years from now?” I think this will give you a better idea of what he’s thinking without screaming “where’s my ring already!?” Wink

 

I hope this gives you some insight to hispanic culture!

Post # 7
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Reign14: No, its not ignorant question or comment.  RAther, in each culture espeically once we get engaged everyone is quick to ask “so whens the wedding” it is just a common question that naturally occurs.  Than after marriage the next question is “para cuando veremos un bebe” (when do we expect to see a baby) and its your wedding nightLaughing

Antes couples go engaged and were married rather quickly however society and customs have changed even for Latinos . My husband and I dated for 6 years, were engaged for 2 years than married. To many people rush into marriage and than divorce occurs.

Forget your age, I am already a 29 year old Ruca, but my students tell me I look 19years of age and I believe it since in the beginning of the school year security would stop and try to take me to detentionLaughing

Women get married at whatever age, however I understand that for us Latinas if we are not married by 30 then “va quedamos para vistir santos”

Post # 8
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Reign14: No, its not ignorant question or comment.  RAther, in each culture espeically once we get engaged everyone is quick to ask “so whens the wedding” it is just a common question that naturally occurs.  Than after marriage the next question is “para cuando veremos un bebe” (when do we expect to see a baby) and its your wedding nightLaughing

Antes couples go engaged and were married rather quickly however society and customs have changed even for Latinos . My husband and I dated for 6 years, were engaged for 2 years than married. To many people rush into marriage and than divorce occurs.

Forget your age, I am already a 29 year old Ruca, but my students tell me I look 19years of age and I believe it since in the beginning of the school year security would stop and try to take me to detentionLaughing

Women get married at whatever age, however I understand that for us Latinas if we are not married by 30 then “va quedamos para vistir santos”

Post # 9
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I thought you meant Spanish from Spain from the title of the post so I figured I’d chime in! I’m half Spanish and have never heard anything about long engagements being a negative thing in any way. Yes, most Spaniards may be devout Catholics, but the younger generations are doing things their way..aka getting married on their own timeline. Hope this helps!

Post # 11
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hi,

I know this thread is old but I was wondering if you had any updates! To add to what other women here said, there isn’t really a stigma when it comes to long engagements. I’m Dominican and the males that I have met take marriage seriously. They might take a little longer to propose but when they do it is because they are sure. They like to make sure that they can take care of you and the home financially. Engagement length isn’t too long. I’d say no more than a year. Just make sure that you both have the same intentions, sometimes they tend to get comfortable with just being bf/gf. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Reign14:  Sounds a little like my SO! (He’s Cuban)

@merenguito:  “Latino men are sometimes proud about how they’ll be able to provide for their family or being sure of themselves that they are in a good place to start a family.” I’ve seen a lot of signs of this in my SO too *sigh* I just want to be engaged since we’re already planning on getting married and starting our life together once we save enough money!

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