(Closed) speak now or forever hold your peace..

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

you could ask the priest if he’s including it.  I can’t remember them saying it in the last 2 Catholic weddings I’ve been to, so I think no.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been to my fair shair of catholic weddings and I have never heard it.  But I second just telling the preist you would prefer to leave it out, just to be safe.

Post # 5
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@HolyVowels:  No.  That is not part of the Rite of Marriage.

Post # 6
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve never seen it at a Catholic wedding and I’ve been to quite a few. I believe  Just double check with the priest, for your own piece of mind. It is an optional part and is by no means a required part of a Catholic wedding.

Post # 9
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

They don’t. I was told that they used to ask in case someone in the congregation knew that the bride and groom where related or something, just a side note 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Even though I’m sure you’ve gotten the point by now, it’s not!

These are the things that take its place:

The freedom to marry form that you have someone fill out when you start your marriage prep. It gets other people to state that you aren’t related, you aren’t being coerced, you are doing this of your own free will.

The series of questions you answer (maybe also called freedom to marry form? I forget)

In the mass your parents answer if you are doing this of your own free will.

Then you answer that you are doing this of your own free will.

Technically (though I’ve never heard of this happening, this probably fell out of practice 200 years ago) the church should announce the upcoming marriage for 3 weeks prior (called reading the banns I think) and so if anyone had an issue, they would say something then.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding (Catholic or not) where this was said. Has anyone?

Post # 12
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@jedeve I’ve been to many Catholic ceremony and the parents are never asked at the cermony if you are doing this of your free will. Perhaps this is a regional difference.

However, you might be right, that at some point in the marriage prep, you will be asked if you are doing this of your free will, but that is really just a preparation formality.

Post # 14
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@jedeve: In the US, if the couple is over 18, the parents are not asked anything at the wedding.  I assume it could be different in other countries, though, or if the couple asked it to be included.

 

@MissShork: At the marriage you are asked if you are there of your own free will.  Before the exchange of vows, the priest asks for consent:

(Name) and (Name), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?

Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?

 The following question may be omitted if, for example, the couple is advanced in years.

Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of  Christ and his Church?

 Each answers the questions separately.

Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

… then vows…

@HolyVowels: The (I), (II), or (III) is the number of times it’s been posted.  So a III signifies that it’s the third (and final) time the marriage has been announced.

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh, well at my wedding they were asked! I’m sure it has no legal bearing, but its in there. Maybe it was just included for us because we had all 4 parents walk us down the aisle. It might be left out if the bride is just escorted by her father. It was done at the very beginning before everyone is seated, so its not a particularly memorable part. I promise you though – its in there!

Post # 16
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s optional at most churches. Since (as other posters have said) you go through the whole marriage prep and “free will” and “consent” to marry, most priests don’t include it.

If you’re concerned, definately check with your priest.

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